i just want to want to wait till we are financially stable and ready i mean we both just got out of high school. I don't want to be rude about it and make him think i don't want to have children with him.
2006-11-15 08:16:41 · 19 answers · asked by bjames_0050 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life or anything, but, you have your whole life ahead of you. Especially since you've just graduated from highschool (congrats). If your fiance loved you, he would understand and respect the fact that you only want what's best for the your child (ren). Not only that, but that alone should motivate him to help make things right so that if and when you come up pregnant, you guys won't have to struggle just to get the baby diapers and formula. If I were in your situation, I'd sit down and I'd tell my fiance " I'm not saying that I don't love you and that I don't want a child with you because I do. I'm just saying, I just want what's best for our child. That means working and saving up and continuing my education BEFORE we decide to get pregnant, so that we can be financially stable enough to live comfortably and raise our children without having to struggle." Don't be afraid to tell him how you feel because If he understands, he won't be offended. Good Luck with your life.
2006-11-15 08:52:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance just has no idea what's involved in having and raising a child. The time. The money. The 24-7 attention that a child requires. Seriously. It's demanding enough for a couple with well-paying jobs, let alone kids straight out of high school.
Here's the deal. Wait until you've been out of school at least five years before you're married, let alone have kids. Then you will have had a chance to live life, gain some perspective on the world, and learned who you are as a person. Then you will not blame your boyfriend or your child for stealing so much of your precious youth.
And if he insists on it, then walk away. Anybody who wants to force you into such a momentus life decision is not going to be a good partner in life. To be honest, he sounds as if he's not better than a child himself.
Good luck.
2006-11-15 08:55:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...what is his big hurry? You're both young, you have time ahead of you to do this when you are more financially stable and know "what you want to be when you grow up". A baby is a major change in your lives - I know, I've been a single mom for many years, and I had my daughter when I was 26! I think that if you explain to him that you want to have children with him, and that its important to you that you're both in a better place, than hopefully he'll understand. Good luck!
2006-11-15 08:35:02 · answer #3 · answered by sssuzie1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Smart girl, see most guys only think that if their woman don't have a their little one, then you will try to go to another guy. You need to explain to him the cost to raise a child, and show him the financial situation you both are in right now, and he should come to reasonal terms, unless it wasn't ment to be with him. Try to help him to understand, but you must stick to your guns, because this is both of your lives that you are talking about.
2006-11-15 08:24:37 · answer #4 · answered by Jerome E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's the rush? Did he say why? If you were 38, then I'd understand due to health issues, but you guys just got out of high school. Chances are you're not ready for kids yet. Your line of thinking is on track, stick with it.
2006-11-15 08:19:01 · answer #5 · answered by tipper 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right. Its better to wait and have something stable, a house, a good job. Try to explain him that you were raised differently and that you need to get married first, he will understand if he really loves you.
2006-11-15 08:19:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is so ridiculous and immature. If you can't tell him how you feel you have no business entertaining the thought of marrying him. If you don't want a relationship based on honesty, just get on the pill or Depo and tell him you are trying to get pregnant.
2006-11-15 08:21:26 · answer #7 · answered by Nunya 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps you shouldn't marry this guy. He's clearly not worried about what is best for you or your future children. DO NOT have kids until you can afford them. When you think you can afford then, you probably still can't. The cost is amazing.
2006-11-15 08:20:44 · answer #8 · answered by kherome 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Explain it to him. It might be that he is feeling a little insecure and wants reassurance that you are going to stay.
But definately wait til you are ready and financial stability is a HUGE plus.
2006-11-15 08:19:36 · answer #9 · answered by Ladythang 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him exactly what you said here and tell him you would like to give your life and his life a chance to become 1 and then after marriage when you two have had the time for each other then tell him you would love to have children.
2006-11-15 08:19:08 · answer #10 · answered by Julie J 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋