I'm in a state - and can't see a route out of my problem. I told my boyfriend on monday that we should go on a short break as our relationship was looking a bit down. I thought it would bring us closer together. But he has took it as a complete break up. So when i said lets sort things out and get back together - he said 'no you wanted this now you got it' his friend tells me he is distraught as much as i am - so why is he doing this? he said its over now. and i can't bare how much it hurts to be apart from him. If there is anything i can say to him to change his mind - please help me? anything at all.
2006-11-15 08:08:18 · 39 answers · asked by bonjovi1987rocks 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Tell him that a break up is not what you wanted and you realise how much you really love him and it has taken this break up for you to really see how much you want the relationship to work ...... Good luck
2006-11-15 08:12:00 · answer #1 · answered by charlotterobo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one, you need to approach this carefully,
first off, ask yourself if he knew this was coming, or if the break was straight out of left field, if it was the second, then he'll be very hurt right now,
second, be rational about this, you need to talk to him, tell him the reasons why you wanted the break, and communicate with him, especially tell him so it wasnt to see other people, but to attempt to bring you two closer together, tell him (as much as it might hurt your pride, if your that kind of person) how much it is hurting you that you two are apart, if the guy is a reasonable, caring guy (which im assuming he is if you've fallen for him this deeply) then he will understand and you two can work this through, if however after you've come half way and he still refuses to meet you, then all you can do is give it time, either he'll work it through on his own, or you'll both move on, i know this is hard, but theres no quick solution to this.
2006-11-15 08:15:05 · answer #2 · answered by Brad 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off, hes right. you wanted to play some stupid game about taking a break, so now you got it. it sucks, live and learn. what to learn is this - running away, taking a break from a problem, is not how to solve it. you need to communicate. chances are he felt the same way, or would have done what ever it took to make you happy.
what you need to do now is let him cool off. that will take time. you have done the wishywashy girl thing and he feels played with. so, talk to hm. tell him you just need a few words, then tell him you will be waiting for him, that you are commited to him and love him. you didnt want to break up, you wanted him to miss you. you made a mistake in the way you handled things, and want his forgiveness, and you're willing to wait for it. then wait. hell come around - or he wont. if he doesnt, that sucks, but there you are. more likely he will. he will be hurt and angry, and you need to make this up to him. you need to talk, find out why you two became unhappy. needs were not being met, undoubtedly on both sides. you will both need to commit to the others happiness.
the good news is, if you work hard, this can be a good thing. a good big fight ususally can breate some life into a relationship. revevie the passion. you have to be willing to be angry at eachother, and realize that anger is transitory. so go make it better. you messed up. fix it.
2006-11-15 08:19:59 · answer #3 · answered by savgbst 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can be doing this just to get back at you for telling him you wanted to "take a break" in the first place. He'll probably keep this up until he feels that he hurt you as much as you hurt him. What you can do is try to talk to him or if he doesn't want to talk to you try talking to his friends so that they can talk to him for you. Tell him that you miss him and that you want things to get better between the two of you and explain to him the reasons why you wanted a "break". Be honest with him him, tell him that you love him and you never meant to hurt him intentionally and that you thought that "taking a breather" would make you guys get closer not further apart.
Remember that you can't force him to get back together, but just make sure that you are honest and that he understands how you feel.
2006-11-15 08:19:02 · answer #4 · answered by luv 4 dogs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he can't cut you a break and give you a little peace of mind and some time to yourself to think thing trough and gather your thoughts and if he wants to be childish and be a big baby about you just asking for a short break so you can have just a little peace and alone time to your self and instead of just giving a short break he troughs a huge childish and selfish and very low and unreasonable/unfair hissy fit and breaks up with you well my anwer to that is well i'm no love doctor i am just a 16 year old bisexual boy in the 9th grade but i do know this for a guy who is that mean and selfish and who doesn't have any respect for your personal well being and feelings then you are much much better off with out him and i know you are going trough pain and your heart hurts i have also been in the same situation where someone broke up with me i know all about the pain and suffering of your loss of someone you loved and thought he or she loved you back so cheer up because there will be better day and someday maybe tomarrow maybe next week or month and hey maybe even today things will go your way and you will meet someone better who gets you and loves you and respects you and will alway give you all the space or peace or breaks that you need and he or she will respect that because thats what you want and they will love and respect you enough to do that!
2006-11-15 08:27:42 · answer #5 · answered by leealan c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have hurt him , and he wants to know how he 's feeling by giving you the same treatment.you must have been a bit bored with him or you wouldn't have suggested a short break , if you had said lets go away for a sexy week-end stay in the hotel room even book dinner in the room , just stay together and "please" each other all day and night ,your guy would have been chuffed to bits , maybe that's what you meant but thought he would think badly of you for suggesting that ,so its come out that you need sort things out , maybe you just need to tell him to come onto this site and read what you said and what others have advised , or you could just say hey lover "I Love You" I have to say that fellas are even more stubborn than us women when we hurt them and they take a long time to forget even longer to forgive....with that in mind just tell HOW you are feeling .I hope that this is some help to you and make the most of making up good luck
2006-11-15 08:31:09 · answer #6 · answered by jaycee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd love to help... considering I can never help myself. So, here it goes. First, a little bit of honesty... you messed up, you did. Why you asked for this break, I dont know but if it werent a valid reason like messing around than you are in for a bumpy ride. Admit you made a bad choice by requesting the break. Never beg but never hold back or play games. Its kinda a gray area. Believe me there is one. Repeating an apology will not win him or his respect bk. Just be honest and apologize. Be truthful and let him know how you feel. Truth only. Love always finds a way ... True Love always does.
2006-11-15 08:20:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the key to any solid relationship. You would have been in a better position if you had discussed the reason for your need to have a "break". Now you can hope there is still an opportunity to sit down together and hash out your problems. If you are both willing to be open and honest, you can repair this rift and come together again.
2006-11-15 08:12:36 · answer #8 · answered by Florida Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hes hurt To him you were saying he was not good enough. no mater what you say i don't thinks he'll even hear it.
a letter is properly the best (don't text as you want him to think about what you said). Explain everything truthfully but make sure you explain its not him and that you feelings had never changed or that you wanted to test if your feelings for him were true and the only way for you in you opinion was to take a break to see how you really feel. Don't criticise him.
use your words carefully!
is that doesn't work I'm afraid the wound is too deep to heal.
learn from it and next time choose your words wisely.
good luck
2006-11-15 08:21:28 · answer #9 · answered by dislexic1yen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably doing some self evaluation/ soul searching, and wondering what he had done in the first place for you to want a mini break from him. He is upset and disappointed at the same time, and please understand that he is probably surrounded by his own mates giving him advice about "there is plenty of fish in the ocean", which is not helping the situation. You really need to talk to him and get this rectified. Why would you want a break away from somebody anyway, if you truly cared for them??
2006-11-15 08:30:56 · answer #10 · answered by ribena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you hurt this guy and it sounds like he doesn't want you to hurt him again...the only thing you can do is try and talk to him if he wont see you then write him a letter tell him how daft you was and how much you miss and need him and love him try and get his mate to put a good word in as well, but if he still says no then you may have to face the fact you made a big mistake that you will have to live with for some time
2006-11-15 08:13:26 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋