back together and now it has been almost a 1 1/2 yyrs since i saw this guy but he still e-mails me.....and I will e-mail him back but just hi and how are you doing......this guys parents are my son god parents and his parents are friends with my parents........and now me and my husband are not working out, it was a HUGE mistake to get back together.......he has no respect for me, he doesn't care about my feelings and his parents absolutely hate me and his mom is always saying rude comments to me and he does nothing about it, he continues to let it go and i am getting sick of it.........and this guy that i dated while were seperated is still interested and he keeps e-mailing.........its as if he is just waiting for my husband to screw up again..........what should i do, or is it wrong to still keep in touch with him, i just feel weird in just not talking to him anymore, since i have known him since i was 14, he was my chambelan in my quince and our family are friends........advice?
2006-11-15 07:21:23 · 6 answers · asked by Jen 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well after we got back together i was so happy and we were stupid to want another baby, not that i don't love my daughter but now i have a 2yr old that my husband initially abandoned when he was 2mo and now we have a 4mo old daughter........and the guy that i was seeing kept hoping that she was his.......he kept asking and asking until he saw the due date passed, where it could have possibly been his.... and my daughter was born months later.......
i see that he is trying to change and he is good to my kids but he is not a good husband to me.......and i would hate to go through being alone again, especially with 2 kids........i want to give him a chance but the whole thing with his mom is just way more than i can bare especially after everything he put me through already........
2006-11-15 07:30:47 · update #1
well i can see where goldenfir is coming from but we were going through a divorce....i had already signed the papers and sold all my 1/2 of the furniture and stuff and threw away my wedding dress......it hurt but my husband was showing no interest on wanting to fix things........then he wanted to get the divorce and just date and i told him there was no way that i married him as a virgin and now cause he wants the divorce and date me that i was going to shack up with him, then i went to mexico with my son for 2 weeks and when i came back he wanted to stop the divorce and work things out........of course i wanted to work things out with my husband i loved him to death and wanted to believe nothing more then that we would get past this........but he hasn't changed, i definately have changed alot and have bit my tounge more to avoid conflict but now i fins myself just taking this crap from his family when i haven't done anything to them other than be married to their son........
2006-11-15 07:39:32 · update #2
and i don't necesarily want to be with this other guy........he just makes me feel that there is another guy out there that will value me, resepct me and my feelings and that i don't have to put up with it but at the same time i know i am an adult and i chose to marry him and i chose to get back with him, so now i have to suffer the consequences and just deal with it........especially for my kids, they deserve their dad and as long as he doesn't hit me i should just deal with it until they are grown and move out.......i'm just confused and hurt that he has no balls to stand up for me with his family. i honestly think if he could do that, i can feel more at ease at trying to make this work.......feel like we actually have a chance and i am not wasting my time with this,,,,,,
2006-11-15 07:42:47 · update #3
Sounds like you need space for yourself. Dump the husband since he isn't working with the reconciliation. Then give your self space. Don't let this other guy enter your life too quickly, sounds like he did just that when you were separated. When you are stable from the finalized divorce, then look at your prospects.
2006-11-15 07:29:58 · answer #1 · answered by zax_fl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me it sounds like you never wanted to give your marriage a chance. Since you've held onto this other guy, you knew you had a backroad out...why did you get back with your husband if you had someone else? Should have gone ahead and gotten the divorce. To me, if you are separated, that's not a golden ticket to find someone else. It's a time to reflect and really find out if you want to continue with your marriage. Looks like you've already made up your mind...go ahead and pull the trigger and end your marriage and take the guy that you're holding onto.
I'm sorry this is so harsh...but marriage should never be taken on lightly. If you made a mistake, fix it, just make sure it doesn't spill over onto your son...he will feel that he is the reason for the divorce and if both sides bicker about it...then it will effect him for a long time.
2006-11-15 15:31:14 · answer #2 · answered by goldenfir 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me that your only in it for the kids. Kids are not a reason to get married or to stay married. Your husband may be resenting you because you and the other guy are still friends, even if it is innocent on your part you husband knows the other guy still wants you. If your not 100% in love with your husband and don't see it working out then get the divorce, but give yourself a chance to heal completely before you move on.
2006-11-15 15:44:16 · answer #3 · answered by Danielle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have answered your own question. Divorce the husband, learn from your mistakes and see if things work out with the other guy.
Life is too short to be unhappy.
2006-11-15 15:27:42 · answer #4 · answered by medic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that you're not in love with your husband....why are you still together? Don't be with someone that you don't love. You don't deserve that, nor he. Follow your heart and do the right thing. Sounds to me that your friend knows more about you than your own husband.
2006-11-15 15:24:20 · answer #5 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well sounds like u and ur husband are not in love anymore. you can try to work things out, talk to him and be sincere. if you're not happy do what makes you happy. it's ok to keep in touch as long as you're not physically or EMOTIONALLY cheating on ur husband.
2006-11-15 15:25:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋