I recently lost my long-term boyfriend to Cystic Fybrosis and have been w/ my current b/f 2 months. I still live at home w/ my mom and step dad and he is unemployed. I have never wanted children but I am afraid that i will be unable to have an abortion if the baby has a heart beat when it comes time to abort.../
2006-11-15 07:20:00 · 57 answers · asked by Tateo_is_my_life 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You have a lot of options. First you should talk with your family about it. My sis-in-law got pregnant at 17 and thought she wasn't ready. She considered abortion and was set to do it but when the time came she couldn't afford it then she waited so long she just couldn't do it. She still wasn't "ready" for a baby so she asked her brother - who is now my husband - if he would adopt the baby. He told her he would move in with her and take care of the baby as if it were his own but save the actual adoption for later. By the time the baby was a year old, she was more than ready to take on her role as mommy and my husband moved out. My sister-in-law never regrets a minute of it and Hanna is the light of her life and of course she holds a special place in mine and my husband's hearts as well.
So here are a few of your options: Keep the baby and go to the department of human services; they can assist you with everything from job placement, help with utilities, housing, medical bills, food, child support.
Give the baby to a family member - either permanently or until you are ready.
Put the baby up for adoption. Either open where you are allowed to contact the baby or closed where you never even have to see the baby.
The last option you have is abortion. I hope you will look at and seriously consider all the other options first. If you have an abortion you will have to live with it all your life. Some people can handle this without any problems but you already sound so unsure if you can do it, maybe this isn't the best choice for you. Good luck to you, stay strong.
2006-11-15 07:49:23 · answer #1 · answered by pebble 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Should you get an abortion...
First I would get conformation of the possible pregnancy.
Abortion, Adoption and Keeping the baby is all options you and your boyfriend should weigh.
Plenty of places will help you if you decide to keep the baby such as Planned Parenthood.
Adoption is an option even if you have the and decide that parenthood is not for you. Open adoptions allow you to see the child.
Abortion is an option even if the baby has a heartbeat..
RU-486 is the "Abortion Pill" in which you take one one day and like 3 days later you take the next one and you have pain like you were having a miscarriage...(Can be taken up to 8 weeks)
The Vacuum suction method is where they stick a vacuum up your cervix and suck out all the contents of the uterus. The actual procedure only takes 4-5 minutes..(up to 2nd trimester)
Just keep in mind that this decision can affest you for the rest of your life..
Hope this helps!!
2006-11-15 07:48:45 · answer #2 · answered by FanofJrSrand29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. First, get a pregnancy test to find out for sure, you might be worrying about nothing. If you are pregnant, hon, there are many women who have been in your shoes who carried to term and had their baby. It will be hard and it will be no walk in the park, but you can do it. If anything you can always put your baby up for adoption. Many states have asoption clauses (such as open adoption) where you can pick the adoptive parents and stay in contact with them, even letting the baby know you are the bio mother. Abortion will give you a high chance of suffering from PASS, I know, I have lived with it for over ten years. All abortion will do is having a dead baby on your conscious.
2006-11-15 07:38:32 · answer #3 · answered by newcovenant0 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were in your position, I would never have an abortion, as I don't believe in them. I would talk to your mom, and your boyfriend. I'm sure you have supportive people in your life, and you will be able to get help. And think about it this way....even though you don't want children, there are so many loving people in the world who do, and can't have them...they would give your child a good life filled with love. Abortion isn't always the only answer. And..you're only 17...don't make a decision you're not sure you can live with for the rest of your life.
2006-11-15 07:29:37 · answer #4 · answered by iceprincess_12_04 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you feel that this is what you need to do then you do it, screw what ever one else on here says. you can have an abortion up until you are 3 months pregnant. i know from personal experience. you will be fine no matter what you choose to do. you know more than anyone else on this site what is the best option for you, whether it be an abortion or adoption. you choose what you feel is neccessary for you and don't let others pursuade you into doing something you do not want to do. things to think about an adoption, could you carry a baby inside of you for 9 months and not become attached? could you feel it move for the first time and then just like it was nothing at all hand it over to someone and know you will never see him or her again? it is hard to give a child up for adoption. i know that as well from a family members personal experience. you choose whatever you feel is right for you and your situation, hope this helps and i wish you the best in whatever you choose.!!! holly p.s. they will not let you listen to the heartbeat or anything like that. ik now because htey did not do that with me when i had mine. also a babies heartbeat is not there until you are at least 12 to 13 weeks pregnant, i got all of this info from the abortion clinic and from my obgyn, so just listen to your heart and again i wish you the best in whatever you choose, holly
2006-11-18 05:56:31 · answer #5 · answered by Holly D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can make this decision for you, and it's a hard decision to make. You really need to talk to your mom. I know that may seem impossible and scare you, but you will feel much better if you do. She can help you make the right decision. Don't do this alone. Would you consider adoption? There are so many families out there who could give your baby a wonderful home. Whatever you do (abortion, adoption, keeping the baby), just think it through long and hard. Good luck!
2006-11-15 07:29:51 · answer #6 · answered by mama of two 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
getting an abortion is a very serious decision. each state has their own laws about abortions so you need to be familiar how far into the pregnancy you can get an abortion where you live. but a child has a heart beat at 8 weeks but its not even close to being alive (from a medical not religious perspective). you can always have the child and give it up for open or closed adoption. call a health clinic and talk to a nurse about your options and then you and if your comfortable enough your family should make your decision. having a child is a tremendous responsibility and he/she deserves the best. so talk to someone and make your decision on what is BEST FOR YOU!
2006-11-15 07:39:29 · answer #7 · answered by BEE 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi! The answer to your question has to come from your own personal feelings. There are so many things that can affect your decisions before an abortion, while many more to expect after an abortion. This is something that you and your mate will need to discuss in private, or maybe with you mom, depending on your relationship with your mother. There are also other options that are out there one of them would be to, put the child up for adoption. Although both of the decisions may seem hard, I am sure you will make a decision that will fit your lifestyle that will best fit your needs.
Good Luck!
2006-11-15 07:28:14 · answer #8 · answered by tami_cassell 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hmm you should do what is right for you. If you think that you can provide a loving home for your child, then nothing else matters, you can deal with all the drama that comes and it will be worth it. But, if you have plans for your life that don't really include a baby right now and don't think that you can give it the love and attention it will require, then you should take care of yourself first. You will be able to have more children later when you can make both of you happy. Just remember how hard this choice was next time you decide to have unprotected sex. No one should have to go through this just because they were careless.
2006-11-15 07:47:50 · answer #9 · answered by redzodd 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No matter what the cirumstances of your life, your baby is totally innocent and does not deserve to die. Your baby's heart is beating just three weeks after conception (about one week after you miss your period). Abortion is very dangerous for you as well. Please make sure you have all the facts, and keep in mind that those who sell abortions are not going to provide you with unbiased information.
There is plenty of help available for you. You can do the right thing. Statistics show that 93% of women regret their abortions, but you will never, ever regret letting your baby live. I think these links will help:
Free, Confidential Pregnancy Help (including referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance; free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds; free maternity and baby supplies; pregnancy, parenting, and adoption information; counseling and emotional support):
http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp
http://www.heartbeatinternational.org/worldwide_directory.asp
Support for Pregnant Teens:
http://standupgirl.com/site/index.php
Support for Pregnant College and Career Women:
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org
Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/girlswhoaborted.cfm
Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.lifeissues.org/ru486/deaths.htm
Photos of Abortions, Including 1st Trimester Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html
A Four-Minute, Must-See Video on Abortion:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html
Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com
Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm
Advice on Telling Parents About a Pregnancy:
http://lifehouse.glorifyjesus.com/questions/pregnancy/tellingparents.html
2006-11-15 12:34:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋