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I no longer really want to sleep with my husband, partly because I constantly catch him jacking off to porn (which really hurts me), partly because I don't like the way I look anymore and because he doesn't know what he is doing or how to last. I know I care about him and love him, but I never seem to want to be affectionate with him either. We still have fun together sometimes and he's the one I turn to when I'm down but I am wondering if maybe he is more like a best friend to me. I am in counseling but she won't ever be straight forward with me.

2006-11-15 06:56:26 · 5 answers · asked by megkenzee 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

When we do have sex he has no problem being pleased within a matter of minutes.

2006-11-15 07:15:08 · update #1

5 answers

A couple issues are at play. 1. You don't like the way you look...why? Gained weight? Out of shape? Join a gym, get a friend to help you, get committed, FIX THE PROBLEM WITH YOUR APPEARANCE. If you're not happy with your own self image, your confidence level is low and he is not going to be attracted to you. 2. He's a pig but he's a needy pig, he uses the porn to satisfy himself, which has robbed him of the ability to focus on you instead of himself, hence, he jackrabbits all the time and can't please you. 3. Sounds like there is no communication or very little, sit down spit it out and make him communicate with you. If he's willing to at all, there is hope. 4. Buy yourself an Hitachi Majic wand and get the vaginal atachment and have him use it on you. It was the best investment I ever made, wife loves it. Confidence in a woman is really really hot, get some.5. If you're the only one trying here, you're not going to respect him, if you don't respect him you're not going to want to be affectionate. You didn't say how old you and he are, but it doesn't matter, life is very very short and there are no guarantees. Fix it or find happiness elsewhere.

2006-11-15 14:06:53 · answer #1 · answered by stargazer 1 · 0 0

Is there a reason why you are uncomfortable with male masturbation? Men are visual creatures and it's not usually the way women look in porn, but what they are doing that excites them. With lack of intimacy it's only natural for a husband to turn to masturbation. Better that than another woman.

You have a lot of issues going on here. Do you find yourself sexually attracted to other men? Maybe there is a physical reason you have lost interest in sex. There is also plenty of information on the web for men to learn about how to increase their stamina.

If you both want to keep your marriage happy and healthy, then marriage counseling would give you communication skills and individual counseling would help get rid of any baggage.

Good luck and may you both be able to remember why you got married in the first place.

2006-11-15 07:31:18 · answer #2 · answered by NanaCat 3 · 0 1

Then change counsellors. You could try going to counselling together. Your husband needs help.

2006-11-15 07:00:27 · answer #3 · answered by winona e 5 · 0 0

if you aren't happy with yourself your not going to want to please him in bed and it sounds like he is taking care of that on his own would you rather him being with another woman

2006-11-15 07:12:01 · answer #4 · answered by Rox 4 · 0 0

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