can u give me advice? PLEASE!!!! =-(?

Question

I am feeling sad because my feelings have been hurt. I would like to fully trust my husband but he has lied to me about talking to a girl on the phone. Now I am insecure..... What can I/he do to make things better?? I feel like having him on a "short leash" will only drive him away.

ok- so he doesn't talk to this girl anymore (as far as i know) but still the bastard did abuse my trust so my insecuruties are there. I asked him for his phone bills to prove it- he shouldn't be mad about showing them to me - or should he??

Answer 1

Jealousy can kill a relationship..try marriage councelling.

Answer 2

This is a hard situation because your trust has been lost and it's difficult to rebuild it. I think in all actuality putting him on a short leash will do no good, and maybe push him away as you said. I think maybe sitting down with him over dinner in a non-confrontational manner and processing the whole situation is a better way to approach it. I think you both need to wonder why is he calling this other girl, and what's going on with your relationship. Only after having a better understanding can you really begin to heal the relationship. The next step would be for you to possible seek outside help if you feel your relationship needs it, or make boundaries together. You both can discuss what's acceptable and what's not (i.e. calling girls). Remember that relaitonships take so much work and most importantly communication, Good luck!

Answer 3

Honestly if he lied about this, then there is something he is hiding. A short leash maybe in order, at least a promise to end the phone calls or if its on the up and up meet the person too so you can have her number as well. Don't be a victim because you don't want to see the warning signs.

Answer 4

Yes, a short leash WILL drive him away. There's nothing wrong with just talking to a girl, is there? - unless it sounded flirtatious or dirty... He probably lied because he knew you would get upset. If he's given you no reason to not trust him, just let it go.
Know that YOU are a beautiful person! Be confident and be the best you can be. If he is cheating it's HIS loss.

Answer 5

Taking responsibility for your own insecurities is a good place to start. If your marriage is in trouble it would help to seek counseling. Communication is the most important part of any relationship. Maybe your husband lied because he knows how upset you get? Talk to him, let him know your feelings, find out his, and it might be a good idea to ask why he likes to talk to this girl in the first place.

Answer 6

Being up front and asking a proven liar for the truth, won't do you much good.

Now is the time for you to decide if you can live with a man you cannot trust or not. If you cannot trust, then you're better off talking to a lawyer. If you don't want to do that yet, contact a private detective and have him checked out. If he's sleeping around, you can bet your bottom dollar that you'll soon be the one being served with divorce papers.

Answer 7

I would say the key thing is communication talk to your man to see why he is talking to this other lady. You definitely do not want to have him on a short leash that will drive him so far away but make him aware how you feel about the situation

Answer 8

Girl, he cheated, well, thats considered cheating to me. You better keep him on a short leash because he cant be trusted right now. Until you feel comfortable with having him a long leash, you keep an eye on him..

First of all, its your decision on what to do in this situation. he needs to be trying to get all the trust he can get from you. hes even lucky that you decided to stay with him. If you didnt catch him, he might've actually did something with this girl. You need to tell him to do whatever he can to makeup with you becuz your trust is gone.

You stand strong and right now he has to pay for doing this to you and making you feel this way. Its his fault, not yours. It was decision to disrespect you by talking to another girl

Answer 9

Sit him down or talk to him in bed, tell him that if he messes up that that will be the final draw. This will scare him and he will try to assure you He's not cheating on you. If you still have your doubts, call the other person. Make up an excuse, or confront them if you know they are having something more then a friendship. that's just my advice, there might be some better ones out there.

Answer 10

Well I don't know what to say, I know how you feel. My husband did the same thing........he denied anything and then i found out that he was having an "emotional" affair with her...he would tell her all our problems and talk badly about me to her........it hurt alot...but what I have learned from this that there is nothing we can truely do to prevent this.....no matter how pretty we are, no matter how nice we are, no matter how clean we keep the house or how good we cook for their sorry ***.......if they want to cheat..they will do it regardless and when they are doing it, they are nothing about us, how much we love them or how much it will hurt us.........they just don't care.......and it hurts, and as a woman, we can never get over it.....only you know what you can tolerate and what you will tolerate, Just try to be strong and know that it is ok, you don't NEED him, no matter how much you love him.

Answer 11

Give your husband the kind of love that only YOU can give.

Unconditional and selfless love ALWAYS wins over anything. Love him sincerely and love him true, not because you want to be loved back, but because you really do love him.

For instance, try loving him at his worst. It's the simple things that counts. Where were you when he felt alone? misunderstood? unworthy?

The girl on the phone can talk to him all her life, but she can never equal the kind of love you give your husband. Through this unselfish and unconditional love, you are assured his life will not be complete if you are not there. He'd be a fool to let it go.

Goodluck!