I know this sounds stupid, but I here it all the time. A husband wants to keep his old playboys or pornos and his wife wants to throw them out. Or the husband wants to attend a bachelor party, but there will be a stripper there so there are objections. I have asked a similar question and people say that married adults can indulge as long as it is together. Should husbands/wives be allowed to read an adult magazine, watch an adult video, or maybe enter a strip bar? Is that cheating? Does the other spouse have to know?
2006-11-15 06:32:58 · 34 answers · asked by The One Truth 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I believe it depends on the ground rules set for the marriage, some spouses are okay with it and some are not, if they are not, their wishes should be respected.
2006-11-15 06:35:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think there's a thing wrong with what you are doing except... Your wife does not like it. That's the only problem. The centerfolds won't be next to you at night. The stripper will only cost you money etc...
Are the women in the magazines more attractive than your wife? Are they providing more sexual pleasure than her? Is she really upset by you having this old stuff around the house?
If the answers are yes, than you must assist her in making them false or accomodating her. Look at her for the apple of your eye just like when you married her. Intice her in to fulfilling the fantacy's you are getting out of the Memorex waxie paper women in the magazines. Get her in a position were you don't need them in the first place.
I'll admit, it's a hard thing to do. If you can get her to watch, look at or participate in these activities it's all good. However, don't have her up in arms if she disagrees with it.
As far as going to bachelor parties, have her turn into a stripper and have your own bachelor party right there in your own bedroom. If you are a faithful husband you'll get a bunch more out of it. The lap dance you might get from a stripper can go much further when done by your wife. The rub out a stripper might give you can turn into what ever you want. Put some money in your wife's g-string / thong. The money you give to your stripper wife just might go in your wife's gas tank or pay the electric bill! The cost of a years worth of playboy magazine (newsstand price) can buy a new POWER TOOL for the workshop.
See what I mean, turn your wife BACK into the fantacy girl like when you first met her. She can be your centerfold, Linda Lovelace and stripper. It will also free up your hard earned money for things you need, not things you can't really have.
And no it's not cheating other than cheating your self out of money that could have been spent making your marriage a bit more interesting and intimate.
2006-11-15 07:14:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's cheating if it's unknown to the other party, and in my mind it's cheating because your sexual energy is being focused outside of the primary relationship. I would not want to be in a relationship where my husband or SO was all up in the porno. What is he with me for? It just runs counter to what marriage is all about. This is my feeling. If a person is inclined to sexual variety or women composed of silicone parts, they should stay single and indulge until their hearts content. On the other hand, it's a free country, and if consenting adults who are married wish to enjoy porno either alone or together, whatever. As long as I'm not in a relationship with them I don't care.
2006-11-15 06:46:29 · answer #3 · answered by inquiringmind 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see any problem with a man going to a party with strippers, as long as it isn't all the time. I see no problem with a man or woman enjoying some form of pornography on their own, as long as it isn't all the time.
I guess what I'm saying is that in moderation this shouldn't be an issue. I would find an issue with a guy who watched porn all the time or went to strip clubs all the time. The occasional bachelor party or video shouldn't be an issue though.
2006-11-15 06:38:29 · answer #4 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a group of married or living in long term relation couples who practice and open marriage. Open marriage typically refers to a marriage in which the partners agree that each is free to engage in extramarital sexual relationships, without regarding this as sexual infidelity. About 2 to 6 % of all couples are in such arrangements. Indulging it adult entertainment is in my opinion a form of such. Doing it together is milder form then pursuing separately. If the other spouse does not know then it become form of cheating. But one need to remember that the masturbation alone is not considered cheating.
2006-11-15 07:05:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each couple is different in their level of comfort with things like porno. I believe if they are doing too many things of a sexual nature on their own, they will drift apart. Much better for them to watch the movies together or go to clubs together if they want. If the man has the urge to do this all of the time solo, then there is a serious problem.
2006-11-15 06:36:38 · answer #6 · answered by Isis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the other spouse doesn't know then you can add lying to the list. I personally dont think strip clubs or Playboys are beneficial to a monogamous relationship. I will just never understand the juvenile insatiable need of men to do these things. Its like damn how many do you need to see before its enough ??
2006-11-15 06:39:43 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To me its not cheating but be open about your actions and if your spouse has a problem with it, out of love respect that and don't do it. Whats more important porn or your marriage? Strip bar or your wife? Its about priorities. You wouldn't skip work everyday to go to the strip club would you? So why put the strip club over your wife?
2006-11-15 06:39:43 · answer #8 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
okay...i see it that way. whatever one spouse can do, so can the other. my husband has all his girlie boob magazines he still has ( i read them, they have great jokes in there) and any adult video my husband watches, he has to be comfortable with me watching it with him. and if he watches it without me, the only thing that happens is my feelings get hurt for not being there to enjoy on the great sex that will happen. as for going to a strip bar.....my husband would not appreciate it if i went to one. therefore he is not allowed to go in one. i am aware my husband may or may not masturbate without me around. not a big deal. i do the same when i am home alone.
2006-11-15 06:45:36 · answer #9 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what was talked about before marriage. If both parties agreed on one thing and then another party breech's the trust and does something anyway, there will be hell to pay. I think that it is better to be up front because otherwise, if your spouse "stumbles" upon some hidden findings, they would be hurt, feel betrayed and wonder if they know their spouse at all. And on top of all of that, trust would be destroyed. It's just better NOT to hide things.
2006-11-15 06:40:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I see nothing wrong with an occasional visit to a strip club or reading a playboy... OCCASIONALLY. It is not cheating but if a couple wants to remain a couple, they should have an agreement about these sort of things especially if it affects the other partner and they have objections. You have to respect each others feelings about these things.
2006-11-15 06:36:44 · answer #11 · answered by notfreeinnh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋