In the past year or so my husband, who is only 29, has had major problems functioning during sex. He gets very upset and embarassed about it and I just pretend that it's no big deal to me, but of course it is. We've never discussed it, but everytime we try to have sex he has problems, and I'm fed up with it. I guess I want to know if I should say something to him about possibly getting some help, although it may upset him or hurt his feelings?
2006-11-15 06:31:16 · 18 answers · asked by Winnie08_98 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What will upset him more in the long run - meeting with a sex therapist or a divorce lawyer?
Talk with him about it, let him know that it's okay if the two of you are having sexual difficulties, and that a sex therapist can help you work through this. Be careful not to lay it all on him (even if it's the truth), because it will just make him feel even more stressed out and ashamed.
If he refuses, tell him that you will start seeing the therapist anyway, and he can come along or not. That will show him that you are really committed to making this work, and that you see it as a challenge to be solved, not a problem to be ashamed of. Then he will be more willing to attend sessions with you, or even on his own.
good luck!
2006-11-15 06:38:45 · answer #1 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a good open relationship, you should be able to discuss this with him. Of course he is frustrated by this. Further, at 29 he is way to young to experience ED. The concern is that his problem may be a symptom of some other greater health issue...high blood pressure, etc., not to be ignored. If he's a smoker, now might be a good time to stop. He should see a doctor before things just get worse. It is an emotional strain as well. Every time he fails, his performance anxiety increases, which is just going to make it more difficult. Nothing good can come of just letting it go on like this is. While I'm sure his imagination runs wild with erotic thoughts, both of you feel bad, when what all we all want is to fulfill our sexual fantasies. Talk to him like a true partner and help him get his wood back.
2006-11-15 07:14:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that your sex life is very important to you and you want him to see a physician to see if he needs Viagra. His testosterone level may be real low that he might need to take a small dosage so he can have sex with confidence. I am a little older than him and I don't have any trouble the first round but I would need some help to get through the second or third round. It is not his fault if his testosterone levels are low. I'm sure he would agree to see the doctor about this instead of getting upset and embarassed and it bothering you. Good luck!
2006-11-15 06:39:10 · answer #3 · answered by Michael C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way I get my hubby to the doctor's is I just let him know I want to make sure everything is alright I would hate that something be wrong and it be to late to get it taken care of and I love him so much that I would like him to go.
Now sex problems can be many thing's and a first sign that there is something wrong somewhere else in some cases and it would be a good idea just to get it checked out just to make sure it isnt something serious..
And Im thinking some point you thought it was you I know cause I have been there.Just ask him if it is you eventually he will just go to the doctor's to see what is wrong so he find's a reason and try to prove to you that it is not you.
Guy's are tricky you just have to know how to say the right thing to them and mean something different.
2006-11-15 06:54:50 · answer #4 · answered by butterfly00kiss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, talk about it. If you guys have had more than one night with that frustration in the air its time. Your not boyfriend and girlfriend your husband and wife. Acting like it doesn't happen doesn't make it go away. Find a time that completely neutral not in the bed not in front of his friends, a time on the sofa while your flipping channels or driving the car. He's not going to want to talk about it. You can almost guarantee that but its a problem that needs to be dealt with before it gets worse.
If he still refuses to talk about it I would go to a place and get some literature about it or print some info out from some websites and leave in a place that he will find and get to read them alone. Maybe once he sees that its probably a common problem he will come around.. He may yell when he sees the pamphlet but tell him not yelling just "baby im tired of not being able to satisfy you and you not satisfy me, sex is an important part of a relationship, I want to express myself to you." Your job as his wife is to be supportive as you can and soon he will come around.
Good luck..
2006-11-15 06:43:23 · answer #5 · answered by kaliprincess82 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yelling and screaming at a 2.5 year previous isn't suitable! i might problem approximately what come next for this baby. in the adventure that your husband has no persistence now, how is he going to act as your son grows older and incredibly desires discipline? you may communicate till you're blue contained in the face........till he chooses to understand the wear he's doing he will proceed to act like a baby himself. i visit wager that till now you recognize it this baby would be yelling precise returned at him and your baby will additionally learn how to handle his very own frustrations by yelling. Get some parenting books for him to ascertain and ask him to stop this NOW. If he's not prepared to do the two then you definately've a very stressful decision to make.
2016-10-04 00:08:18 · answer #6 · answered by laseter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After that first time it happens, he has now jinxed himself. He will think about whether you bring it up or not. It becomes psychological. Therapy may help, you bringing up will not but he should seek a solution but maybe he will need to do it on his own time.
If you have to bring it up, starting by empathizing. Tell him, you know he's under a lot of stress, and you bringing it up probably isn't helping but....
Suggest a doctors' visit and hopefully all will be well soon.
2006-11-15 06:44:40 · answer #7 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he is so young, he should visit the doctor to see what is wrong. Sometimes things like diabetes can effect it and he may not even know he has a med. problem. Talk to him about it and see if he will go get checked out.
2006-11-15 06:34:13 · answer #8 · answered by notfreeinnh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should let your husband know and try to help him. Wouldn't you do the same thing if you were the problem? Also, please remember that when we are under a lot of stress we can not function very well sexually. Have you guys tried foreplay before intercourse? if not, go that route first and be open.
2006-11-15 06:37:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
be honest with him and tell him you would like to get some professional help with this problem. since he already gets upset and embarassed about it, you should not worry about speaking up.
2006-11-15 06:45:41 · answer #10 · answered by harleyq8 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋