does marraige work?

Question

I come from a family with a history of borken homes.
Is it in the genes?
I am also now quite blasey about the whole thing as if it doesn't mean that much.
I'm not married and have only asked 1 person and she didn't take me serious?

Answer 1

Marriage only works if both you and your spouse put in 100% effort to make it work. Having come from a broken home doesn't mean your marriage is going to fail also, as long as you learned your lesson from it. And NO, it's not in the genes.

Answer 2

I don't know anyone in my family who has stayed married. It is definitely not genes

I married at 16 and it is 15 year's later and I'm still married to him. Marriage work's if you work on it. When people grow they tend to change and as long as you guy's compromise and can agree on somethings and understand that what you cant agree on there is a middle. marriage should never be on sided true people fall out of love but that is because they stop trying.

The way I see it is if your scared to get married because of divorce well what happens if it is the greatest thing you ever did and missed that chance.

On the other hand I know people who just don't believe marriage is that big of a deal and they stay together for a very long time regardless.

Marriage is just a piece of paper and for other purposes but the love felt between each other
doesn't change just because your married or not.

You know you can always do the dress wedding thing even the ring's and not really be married that way she gets what she wants and there is not legal commitment between you two.

Answer 3

Marriage, just like a house, if it is not attended to, will fall apart.

Marriage requires more work than what most people want to put into it. It requires commitment to ONE person, giving in, going without, sharing, hurting and swallowing one's pride.

The more equally yoked the couple are, with common Spiritual, emotional, financial and family goals - the better off the marriage will be. It's a partnership that should not expect to ever be dissolved, except by death.

If you don't want to work hard at a single relationship - ignoring all others both prior and that will meander into your life - then don't go for marriage. It really can't be entered into lightly and expected to survive. It's the toughest job you would ever do!

Answer 4

You should perhaps ask, "Is marriage work?" then of course the answer is yes! There are far too many variables for a single definitive answer but as someone who has been married for 37 years now I would have to say that - as a man - knowing when to shut up, knowing when to listen; knowing how to cook/iron/clean to help take the strain and knowing when to say you're just going for a few beers; doing what you say and saying what you mean; realising that your 'other half' has their own opinions and way of looking at things which may not make absolute sense to you but they are theirs - and remembering that by implication yours will sometimes seem that way to them; all go some way to making a marriage succeed. Now you just need your own definition of success! Side-by-side is better than face-to-face. Good luck.

Answer 5

Marriage only works IF the two that are married to each other want it to work. You have to work at it as a team in order for a marriage to work. You have to be able to communicate with each other about everything and be honest with each other, etc. You do have to work with each other in order to have a good marriage and to be able to keep it. If it is just one person pulling the load, then the marriage is doomed. I know about 1/2 of my family members have gotten divorces but that was only because one of the partners cheated on the other and were caught.

Answer 6

As someone who has been married for over ten years, yes it can work. Don't go into marriage with starry eyes and expect a lot of bliss. You and your partner need to be good friends and both personalities have to mesh. You need to find someone with the same set of goals as you. One word of warning; do not expect children to "smooth out" the relationship. That never works, children only intensify the discord.

Answer 7

It is not in the genes but generally when children come from a broken home history tends to repeat itself, although it doesn't have to. My suggestion? Understand that marriage is very special, it is nothing to take lightly, and be one of the statistics that goes against the odds.

Answer 8

What do you mean "does it work"? Ask the couples out there that have been married 50 yrs or more...

Does it work for everyone? Of course not...nothing does...

If it's not appealing to you, then don't do it...perhaps your attitude will change in time...perhaps not...there's no rule that says one must marry...

Just live your life the best you are able...and be happy...whether that includes marriage (or a non-marriage relationship) or not is up to you...

Answer 9

Maybe she didnt' take you seriously because of your attitude towards marriage. Marriage is hard work. You have to compromise every day with your spouse and need to work together with them to keep the home happy. It's about being responsible and mature, and no longer doing things for yourself (ie, being selfish / egotistical).

When you find the right partner, though, it's absolutely amazing. I wouldn't change a thing because being with the one you love is worth it all.

That being said, marriage isn't for everyone. I just hope you find peace and happiness in your life.

Answer 10

Yes marriage does work if you are both prepared to work with it. I was married at 18 everybody gave us two years because we were so young, I was pregnant. Here we both still are 34 years later. It has'nt been plain sailing we have had our ups and downs, but we have always resolved things. The good times outway the bad times.