2006-11-15 06:17:46 · 14 answers · asked by bluenose 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Yes you are right, but the reason they 'act hard' is because they are insecure. They may have experienced bullying and noted that the 'hard' guys get all the fun and respect. In reality it is not respect they earn but hate and dissension. These people who 'act hard' rarely do so on their own - they like an audience so they can prove their manhood (or womanhood) - they will be the first to run when real trouble rears its ugly head. 'A nice person' may be accused of being soft or a whimp - but that is usually far from the truth - they are the ones who will get the most out of life. Carry on being 'nice' and ignore the 'hard' ones.
If you've had a bad experience, write again - there are many out here who will help you.
2006-11-15 06:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by dcfingringhoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question Brum, I think it can be many things, some of which others have mentioned. I think unless people are hard by nature, due to a hard life for instance, the hardness is a cover for huge insecurities.
And I do agree with you. It is far better to nicer, more receptive, etc. Said one woman, "It costs nothing to smile and be kind, so why not be kind and smile?"
At least I try to live that way, and at least I have a lot of good friends to show it!
2006-11-15 20:05:58 · answer #2 · answered by Charles-CeeJay_UK_ USA/CheekyLad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting choice of words there, 'Act LIKE a nice person.'
Why is it that anyone (outside entertainment) should 'NEED to act'?
People 'act' in order to present a persona to the world, and generally, they do so because the see their own persona, their own individuality, as having less worth than they think they need in order to achieve a goal.
Call it a smoke screen of camouflage, but it's interesting that they put so much energy into it instead of discovery of their self.
I read 'personalities' from palms, and what I find is that when I do so, the individual generally 'drops away all pretences' and invariably, I get to meet a person who I find moving, and would like to know more of.
I hope that helps you...!
Sash.
2006-11-15 13:34:04 · answer #3 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its due to the perpetual image of the media.
In most movies, shows, etc., the main character needs to be strong, sometimes "hadcore".
Its that hardcore image that the media would have you believe appeals to peple.
A hardcore image is, as the media tells it, an image that demands respect, an image that lets everyone know you don't want to be messed with.
In today's society, to be nice is to be "weak".
Ironically, true strength comes from within, away from this media stereotype, and the only real "hardcore" people, are those who stick with what they feel is right.
2006-11-15 06:22:38 · answer #4 · answered by Rob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that when people are hurting or suffering inside they tend to come across as mean and hurtful. It's only because they feel pain internally and acting out is their only known outlet. Try to feel sympathy for these people instead of getting upset by them. They are suffering more than you are.
2006-11-15 06:57:23 · answer #5 · answered by Reserved 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think those are the people who have strong emotional feelings and that's the way they try to hide them. A lot of times, those "hard" people have had very difficult problems or lives, and as a defense against any more heartache they harden themselves.
2006-11-15 06:22:16 · answer #6 · answered by sexmagnet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in either case, the "acting" is the problem.
be who you are.
acting like something is not the key to happiness.
either way.
if you are nice it has to be genuine or it's not worth anything.
the hardness is usually a defense of coping mechanism.
underneath is a hurting person.
try to have empathy for everyone.
2006-11-15 06:20:12 · answer #7 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buddy when your hard you cant help but be hard. It isn't an act its just the reality of the situation.
2006-11-15 06:40:31 · answer #8 · answered by solid132 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say that all the time. one of my jobs is in a shop in asbo country and some people are genuinly nice and some people are evil gits, not to me as such, but to other people too.
i always ask people "whats the point"
i dont think its down to tough childhood necessarily, but a serious lack of discipline or attention.
2006-11-15 06:26:41 · answer #9 · answered by ♫ ♥green heather butterfly♥ ♫ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't get street cred for being nice
thats how much of a messed up world we live in.
socity is going to the dogs,man...
2006-11-15 08:30:00 · answer #10 · answered by TheLizardKing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋