Why do I always think my husband is cheating?

Question

My husband and I have been off and on together for 13yrs we got married this year. The problem is with myself, how can I let go of the past and move on as far as me feeling like everytime my husband leaves the house that he is cheating. please help

Answer 1

Past experiences with low life men have taken their toll on your self-esteem giving you insecurity problems.
You've got to beat this or it's going to ruin your relationship.
Since you recognize it, settle it.
I know that's easier said than done.
Time and trust are all you can give and hope that neither are misplaced.
You never really know, until you know, is always how it's going to be.
You live, you love, you get burned, you learn and hopefully your basic trust in other human beings stays intact enough so you can learn to trust again.
It's really hard to ignore your gut when your radar is so screwed up in the first place. All you'll ever get are false returns. If you fire a shot in self defense and there's nothing there, you're going to hit an innocent.
Not all men are cheaters and not all feelings are proven. Just be careful and guard yourself. Eventually, if he's the right one, your heart will tell you when it's ok to open up.

Answer 2

Trust is very tricky. You probably trusted him until one day he maybe broke that trust. Then it takes a long time to get back. Its like a broken bridge you cant get back over to the side where you used to trust him fine.

Now if he did break that trust than he has to earn it back. There are certain things that he may be doing that brings back those fears of what happen in the past. The only way to get to the other side where you trusted him is time.

Its very true that if you look for a reason not to trust him you will find it so don't look for things just because you think he's guilty. If he has yet to change certain things that make you don't trust him then if he really loves you he should be willing to make some changes. If he doesn't want to change then you have every right to be upset and still get those butterflys everytime his phone rings and he doesn't answer it .

Take time and talk about your fears you guys are married now and if he wants to be with you then you guys should be able to work it all out...

Good luck

Answer 3

If he has not cheated before and you have no proof of him cheating now, it is probably your insecurities causing those feelings.
From experience, my ex use to accuse me of cheating all the time when I was never doing anything wrong. I'm not a cheater, never been or ever will be. I detest cheating. She drove me crazy with the false accussations based on nothing. Total misery for me as well as for her. Over absolutely nothing.
Get a hold of yourself and talk to him about it and tell him you are going to get better with it. I think he will give you assurance that he isn't cheating. Then you have got to get better about it, think positive, trust him and cut him some slack. He doesn't derserve being harrassed if he isn't doing anything wrong. You and him will be much better off without the trust problems in your relationship.

Answer 4

your self esteem is low and your self confidence is as well. You need to learn how to trust him, but you need to be sure that you are the best fit for your husband, that you are making him happy, ask him if he is happy with you, ask him to tell you why he loves you, and then take what he tells you and place it deep into your heart and remember, he married you and he loves you. Remember you are beautiful to him, and you are wonderful too. Just tell yourself that you are worth it, and that he wouldn't cheat on you because of how much you two fit, since you were off and on for 13 years, there must have been something you two did right to end up together. Cherish it and stop worrying!

Answer 5

There's a chance he is cheating and you just feel it. But mostly, it comes down to your lack of trust for him. There also doesn't appear to be good communication between the two of you. Due to the fact you mentioned it's an on/off relationship - why not just move on? I mean, to burden yourself all these years with feelings of worry seems like way too much stress...when you could be with someone who truly loves and cares for you and sets your mind at ease.

Answer 6

You probably have a very low self worth about you, did he cheat in the past? Problems swept under the rug need to be exposed and dealth with, try family counseling.

My best to you and your husband. I am sure you can get through this together.

Answer 7

Obviously because of your "on and off" history together, this has eroded the trust in the relationship. Perhaps you might want to consider counseling for yourself to help you get to the bottom of why you're feeling like this. Trust is important in a marriage and if you can't trust your partner for whatever reason, the marriage will soon be doomed.

Answer 8

Well for some reason you are not secure in your relationship with him.Has he cheated before? if so then thats probably the reason...If you are having a gut feeling about this and know it in your heart but can,t prove it,he is probably cheating...Women have a great intusion,and can usually feel these things,your heart will tell you.You need to sit down with yourself,alone and go over everything you know and your heart will tell you.

Answer 9

The suspicion is nothing but a burden, and you are doing it to yourself. That burden takes away from any good that may happen during the day.

The conclusion that you need to come to is that you can only control you OWN actions and you can only be responsible for yourself. Keep yourself clean and know that, if your husband is cheating, it will come out eventually. It always does.

Answer 10

You must choose to forgive. It starts there, but doesn't end there. If he has cheated in the past, you must deal with that with him, and he has to acknowledge it to you and accept the consequences, among which is a broken trust bond. If he hasn't cheated, then you need to look at yourself and ask why you don't trust him. Do you have trust issues with yourself? Do you want to cheat??? Good luck, honey.