He will wait until the absolute last second to take care of stuff. Our 5 year old daughter wasn't on dental insurance for 2 years because he'd never get the paperwork turned in in time. So it cost us even more!! Finally today he's turned it in, but it is the last day they will accept. There is to much to list - that's just today. He says he wants a new palm pilot, blackberry, whatever for Christmas because that's where he keeps track of what he needs done..........but I don't want to spend lots of money on something he thinks helps him but really doesn't. Does anyone know how to take care of my last minute to the second problem (without causing a fight?)
2006-11-15 04:51:51 · 7 answers · asked by cakelady 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The key is getting that you will never get him to take care of stuff on time. This is an integrity issue, and something that probably goes far back before you ever knew him.
Think about it, what kind of a person procrastinates, says they will do something and doesn't, etc? A CHILD. This is the behavior of a child, but the problem is you can never confront him with that or there will definately be a fight. He is actually regressing to a very young age by doing this, and has no clue about it. So the key thing is to determine when (5, 7, 8, etc) something happened that had him think that he has to put things off all the time. I can promise you there is SOME incident that caused it.
So what you can do is say something like this, "Honey, I am worried about the safety of myself and the kids. When you put off _______ dental records for two years, it scared me because I was needing to know that she would be protected in the event of an emergency. May I ask, do you have any idea what causes you to put things off like that?" (This is called "Non-Violent Communication")
And be genuinely interested. This isn't a problem. but it does create a concern for you, and that concern is the safety of you and your children. This will have most men actually hear you, because deep down we want to protect our familes. Then asking him (honestly) if he knows where this behavior comes from might open him up to seeing why it happens. Then ask him the following question:
"Honey, for my sake and the sake of our children, are you willing to determine the root cause of your procrastination?" And reassure him that he is not alone. MILLIONS of people do this, and as I said it is an integrity issue.
The key thing is for you to help him to see how it affects you, not just that you are pissed at him, but that you are actually concerned for your daugther's safety. This may spark him to want to shift the behavior. If he is open to transforming it, then e-mail me and I'll give you some suggestions.
Hope this helps.
2006-11-15 05:16:26 · answer #1 · answered by Jericho 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The reason he never does any thing for himself is because he has some one that will remind him and you are it, so rather than fight every day hand him a short list to begin with and only have things he has t handle,and as you hand it to him make hin go over it before it goes into his pocket, that way he cant say he forgot to read it, as for the palm pilot they are good but only if you look at them you might get him an inexpensive one and program it your self and update it ever night for the next day. I wish I could tell you he will change but the chances a re very slim, so make it easier on yourself and try this
2006-11-15 05:09:29 · answer #2 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is his nature and it is very hard to break. My husband is the EXACT same way. We still don't have dental insurance, he still hasn't called our bank to get the OK to sell our house, he still hasn't taken out the trash, he still hasn't done a lot of things. The way I cope is from the saying "If you want something done, do it yourself" Call the insurance and get the paperwork done yourself. If it is a small company he works for and they know you, they will prob let you sign his name for him.
Other than nagging, there is nothing else you can do. Sorry :(
2006-11-15 04:56:31 · answer #3 · answered by newcovenant0 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't going to change him, so either learn to live like this or move on. Alot of men have this same problem, they put things off until we nag and nag them and then they will finally, slowly get off their rump and get it done. It's some kind of male thing.
2006-11-15 04:56:13 · answer #4 · answered by blonde_bitch_norris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi Hollywood infant, the extra serious could be,a huge procrastinator..i like to get issues carried out precise then and there..I hate sitting on my @@s,and arranged to do it later.. Your pal, poppy1
2016-12-14 07:44:29 · answer #5 · answered by zell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Promise him sexual favors like a "b.j" if he does things around the house and important paper work. My sister does that.
2006-11-15 09:49:26 · answer #6 · answered by blue_6670 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my husband, when you get a good answer let me know.
2006-11-15 06:22:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋