So what if your best friend who knows more about you than anyone never wants to speak to you again....?

Question

I had a best friend relationship (who knew more about me than anyone else in the world) with someone who never wants to speak to me again - seems like the decision is final. But they won't tell you all the reasons why, so there really isn't any healthy closure. It feels worst then death because when your friends or family dies you find ways to have closure.

Don't you think they should have the respect for the friendship (even though dead now) to at least explain all so that there is full closure for you to move on?

It is so hard to heal when you don't fully know why it is completely over.

Answer 1

i can sympathize with you but the truth is the more you press for closure here the more you are likely to drive your friend further away...i suspect there was a reason that this friendship dissolved and maybe it hurts that person too much to deal with properly right now...maybe they are considering their own closure more than yours and sometimes that is what needs to be done whe you are hurting...yes this is hard for you but its probably hard for them too...i would just write the person a letter saying that you understand that this might be hurting them but that when they are ready you woul appreciate that they write to you at least just so that you can have your own closure too...i hope this helps...;0)

Answer 2

Yes, I think closure is very important. When someone you care about stops talking to you or communicating in any way you need to close that chapter and get an answer to come to terms with it. It may be a marriage or just a friendship, but that's something that can't be left open no matter how much the answer may hurt. The healing will never happen for either party until the board is clean. I've learned this too easily lately. Too many unanswered questions will drive you crazy. It's just a matter of respect for that other person. To leave it just hanging with no explanation is wrong and cruel.

Answer 3

I have had two situations like that, the first was with a boyfriend who I thought I would be with for the rest of my life. we started dating just before Christmas, we went to dinner and back to his place. Christmas tree lights on and candles burns, soft Christmas music playing in the back ground. We talked, kissed and held each other until almost the following morning. We went out several times after that each time getting closer and closer. Just before Valentine's Day he tells me that he doesn't want to see me any more with no explanation. I have asked him several times why he hurt me the way he did and that I felt that he owed me an explanation, His answer was is not you, it's me and I won't give you any further explanations. This was 7 years ago and I still haven't gotten over what he did to me.

Answer 4

Throughout my marriage, my now ex-husband cheated on me but always lied about it and never would give me the truth. He always was vague about the circumstances and would lie about how far things really went. The question that I always wanted to know was, why? Why he could do that to me and how did we get to this place when all I wanted was for him to love and respect me on a level closer to the way that I did for him. So I never got the answer, just my own beliefs about his actions after reflecting upon him, our marriage, and even myself. Will I ever be certain as to why things played out the way they did? No, but my thoughts behind it are that if he was that much of a scumbag to put himself before his family, and then not own up to his mistakes...it is his loss not mine... he is just not worth the effort and I am better off letting it be and moving on....

Answer 5

I had a similar problem...I wanted to end the friendship because she back stabbed me a lot of times and was not willing to apologize. She was also trying to jeopardize my relationship with my fiance. It was very hard for me to cut her off but I explained to her the reason and she disagreed with me. I also tried asking her why we became this way. Anyways trust me some things are best when left alone! I think you just move one and forget it.

Answer 6

First what i imagine you should do is tell her all this in a unmarried user-friendly letter. Then, ignore about her. in case you keep attempting to the contact her, she'll only get aggravated with you. I comprehend you bypass over her, yet i imagine she only would not want to be friends with you anymore, and there is no reason you should submit with that. i'm sorry yet ignore about her and bypass on. fantastically if she had a bullying personality, you deserve better. So one letter or digital mail, and clarify you're literally not likely to deliver anymore and that is it. bypass onto different friends and attempt to ignore about her, no count number how problematic it would nicely be.

Answer 7

Sometimes we get stuck in the why's. I have too but I discovered that knowing the why's doesn't really make it any easier to deal with. Everything happens for a reason so there must be a reason to this too although I dont know what it is.

Answer 8

if they dont want to tell u then it on them, move on in life get out more and find new friends and try not lettting any know of your troubles in life so soon.

Answer 9

i think you need to explain your question more....