I have been divorced since last May, 2006. My ex-husband emailed me about a month ago to inform me of his new girlfriend and that they are serious. This woman has met our 3 year old son several times and interacted with him. I think that I should meet her. My ex-husband says that is not necessary and said he will not allow that right now. I'm not trying to stick my nose in where it doesn't belong, but I feel I have the right to know who is interacting with my son, especially if this relationship is as serious as my ex says it is. Does anyone know of any research related to this topic?
2006-11-15 04:40:17 · 19 answers · asked by musicalguitar15 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why should you meet your ex-husbands girlfriend? For exactly the reason you noted -- she is involved with your very young son. By the way, when you start to date, your ex should meet your men friends when dating turns in to a relationship.
Open communication and working together will only benefit your child now and in the future.
2006-11-15 04:47:12 · answer #1 · answered by silver2sea 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think if it was very serious he would want you to. Sounds as though it may not be as serious as he is leading you to believe. Also sounds like maybe he hasn't told the whole story to his new girlfriend about your past relationship and doesn't want questions flying around.
Honestly you have no say so who he has around your child during his visiting time unless they are possibly harmful to your child (i.e. a drug addict) If you are truely concerned you could petition the court about this but you would need some kind of proof that this woman is a negative influence for your child, which would probably be hard to prove since you haven't met her.
The sneaky way... pop up over there one weekend when he has his visitation time and you figure she may be there (i.e. in the evenings) At least then you will get a chance to see and possibly talk to her.
2006-11-15 04:51:34 · answer #2 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it might not be a bad thing you not meeting her. My current husband has never met my ex husband face to face b/c my husband doesn't want to. My ex husband has never asked if he COULD meet him. But my ex trusts that I know what's best for our son. It's just best to keep things that way to avoid any confrontation or arguments.
2006-11-15 04:56:05 · answer #3 · answered by amyvnsn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you going to do when you meet her, are you looking for a new friend? And I am so sorry, but you don't get to know who is interacting with your son on his time. It hurts, and it sucks, especially if you had kids with the man thinking you would be together forever, but when he has the kid, he gets to decide. All meeting her is going to do is have you waste a weekend comparing her to you, either through the husbands eyes, or your son's.
Remember above all you are your son's mommy, NO-ONE can change that.
2006-11-15 04:48:50 · answer #4 · answered by Julie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You really have no control over the situation, so trying to make sure you are on the same page is pointless. You made kids with him, so you have to trust him that he won't bring people around that are bad for the kids. Ultimately, all you can do is be polite. I don't see any purpose in invasive questioning or trying to set a bunch of rules.
2016-03-19 08:47:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to a family lawyer and see what your rights are. you do have every right to see and meet those who interact with your son. you need to fully explain that to the father. when my parents got divorced the court ordered them that if at anytime they starte new realationships, the other parent had to meet them. not aprove of them just meet them. tell him that you don't feel comfortable with this situation. tell him to bring her to the door the next time he comes to pick him up...it's a simple hi nice to meet you and then she can go sit in the car and wait for him if there are other things that need to be discussed. tell him that you're not jealous (he might be thinking that) and is just a matter of a mother being concerned about her sons well being. he can't argue with that.. good luck hope this helps
2006-11-15 04:48:25 · answer #6 · answered by AnneeMoon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would u want to meet her, you will never feel good about her, or be friends with her. u just have to trust that all is well unless u have a reason to feel there are problems. unless your son comes home and expresses to u that there are problems. it is never easy to have a relationship with the other woman in your husband's life, even if u met her and found things u didn't like about her, there is little you could do without endless court battles.all this will make u feel even worse about your life.
2006-11-15 11:17:15 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frist I was thinking why would someone want to meet their ex new woman. I see you have a son. You make it your business to meet this woman. Who cares what your ex says. I would want to know the woman that interact with my kids to. Your son is to young to be around another woman anyway you should talk to your ex and let him know your feelings about your son around this woman. It's nothing wrong with moving on but leave the kid out of it. You need to do something your son is to young for this why do you ex feel the need to bring your son into his relatetionship with this chick it's cool for her to know about his son but to interact with him at such a young age I give this a numbs down.
2006-11-15 04:59:30 · answer #8 · answered by Jamie H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should I Meet My Ex
2016-10-18 03:00:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you have a right to meet whomever interacts with your son. I would contact my attorney and send him a letter saying she can not be in your sons presence until you meet her. Also it is illegal in many states for a BF or GF to discipline a child before they become a step parent. Many states even steps have no right. So you need to be clear you will press charges if she ever lays a hand on your son.
2006-11-15 04:47:38 · answer #10 · answered by Liz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋