whats your funniest, worstest drunken story.....see details?

Question

mine is
one time i was so drunk that the ticket person wouldnt let me into the Stone Temple Pilots concert because i was doing my black lady impression to her (ya she was black)
how sad is that
that was like 10 years ago and i still get made fun of for it

Answer 1

That ranks right up there with mine. I was in a wedding a few years back and nothing to eat + drinking waaaaay too much = not a pretty picture. First of all remember this is a wedding and I'm in this beautiful red dress and there is a videographer taping everything. So, after downing a few beers, and 8 or 9 jack and cokes, and then being stingy with not 1, but 2 bottles of champagne I decide to dance and hop around like the friggin easter bunny, after getting tired I suppose, I head down into the ladies room to get some cold water and I end up laying on the floor (yeah, yuck) with an audience watching as someone is trying to make me drink some coffee and eat some bread. Now, I must tell you this part so I can tell you the next part, this wedding was a friend and co-worker so keep in mind that ALOT of co-workers were there as well. After having a few sips of water my boss....yes you heard right, my boss picks me up off the floor of the ladies room and takes me outside, so there I sat like a lawn ornament for a little while, I believe I had my picture taken with anyone who was out there at the time. So on to how I get home....my boss puts me into the back of his pickup truck and sits with me while his wife drives me home. As we pull into the driveway and the tailgate comes down....right there in front of everyone who followed me home to make sure I was ok it happened. I puked on my boss and his brand new suit....not once, no, not twice, no, but three (3) times. The story does not end there, my boss, his wife and the maintenance guy from where I work were all at my house and to this day I have no idea how I got out of the now ruined red dress and into my pajamas. Oh I also woke up on the front porch of my house with my head in my nephew's car seat. The great thing about all of this is....I still have my job. Hope you enjoyed the story ;)

Answer 2

Ahh, which one? The time we were drinking in a bar 20 miles from home and my friends all left. No cell phone, no pay phone, no one else I knew. I think I got 6 or 7 miles in 30 degree temp and only a fleece before my buddy picked me up.

Or maybe it was the time I got drunk and walked home from the bar (like the other person who answered). I was supposed to be home in bed, either tired or sick I can't remember. Anyway, my ex-gf called and here I am on the main drag with cars whizzing by me. I told her I was in bed watching a history channel special on the automotive industry. She never brought it up the next day, so I guess it must have worked.

Answer 3

Hmm..best drunken story of me would have to be a couple weekends ago. I was on the Purdue University campus at one of the bars. Beer pong became several games of beer pong. Along with shots and what not, I was feeling great. I remember falling, yes falling, out of the car, and laying in the courtyard for a bit. I think I was even talking **** to my friends dog. Needless to say, passing out came very quickly after that..

Answer 4

2 couples go to Vegas. One man drinks all his beer he brought and then drinks all the other guys too.

He then gets mad on the strip and leaves the group. He goes into The Mirage and tells a bartender how his wife just ran off with another man.

The bartender feels sorry for him and gives him double boiler makers for an hour or so.

The drunk gets up to go pee and pisses his pants about 20 feet from the bar, soaking his jeans thoroughly.

overheard at an AA meeting.

Answer 5

high school party i had been drinking most of the day and didn't eat anything so by the time the college boys came i was trashed and was still drinking well someone gave me a bottle of MD 20/20 and beat that i couldn't down it so i did and about 15 min later i just puked out of nowhere all over my best friends room i was so embarrassed and i had to get my stomach pumped it was not a good night

Answer 6

I drove from my school to an additional school in an additional town to do a little browsing. I was once dressed in white pants. After browsing I stopped via to peer a pair peers. They stated "Stay over! We'll move out this night!" OK, I was once simplest 18 however they knew the bouncers. I bought blasted under the influence of alcohol. And the bar was once so gross that you just had to take a seat at the again of the cubicles, and the ground was once slippery from puke and spilled beverages. I fell plenty! Then a woman puked in my lap. Whoever drove us again to the dorm, I puked down the facet of his automobile, I puked in my lap, the whole thing. The subsequent morning I awoke with a big hangover, and I went to depart her room and there was once no longer ONE BIT OF WHITE ON MY PANTS ANYMORE! They have been rainbow coloured with beverages, puke and filth. I drove again to my school, my roommate laughed, and I threw the pants away, there was once no desire. Then I made it to elegance on time. I could not do this anymore!

Answer 7

I was bombed one night. While walking home I kept driftting to me my left into the busy streets. I had to cross the street so I would only bump into stairs and fences. It took me 3 hours to navigate my way home like that. If sober the walk home would only take 15 minutes.

Answer 8

I got so drunk one night I mistook my clothes closet as a urinal.

Answer 9

when i was drunk i went to a nude beach and piss on the sand
abd everyone got offended by it

Answer 10

i passed out at a beach party and my friends shaved my ***... that was a long time ago but it is still very funny to me.