Should I just enjoy the benefits while I can or file for divorce?

Question

Should I file for divorce or are the benefits worth it?
If I file, I lose all health insurance, life insurance and pension rights if something happens to him. He is now paying the mortgage (almost $2000) and all of the tuition for the two kids ($1800) without an argument. He left me and is involved with another woman so it feels that by not filing I am saying that it is OK. One marriage is enough so I am not looking to marry again. Any thoughts? One child is disabled. They are both under 8 years old.

Answer 1

Discuss with an attorney to understand where you might stand & what kind of alimony you can expect. There is no need to stay with a guy who doesnt even bother hiding his relationship. Get out and enjoy your freedom

Answer 2

I'd call a lawyer and discuss your options with them. In some cases, you can get spousal support -- health/life insurance, mortgage payments, plus a monthly income. In some cases, the other parent can be required to continue paying health/life insurance, tuition, ect. for the children in addition to child support -- to maintain their current life-style. You also need to consider the long-term healthcare your disabled child is going to require, and you could seek some kind of contingency plan for on-going healthcare costs. In some cases, the home would be sold and the profits from the sale divided equally -- or you could "buy out" his half of the house and keep it. The options are almost limitless, but it requires you working within the legal system to get satisfaction and freedom. Why do you need to suffer for his choices? Call and lawyer. Talk with them. Then make your own choices based on the information you gather. Most lawyers will give a free 30-minute consultation or, at the very least, a severely discounted consultation.

Answer 3

You need to speak with an attorney. First of all it is not true that you would lose all insurance, etc... that can be worked into the divorce agreement. But you need to protect yourself now before he decides he wants a divorce so he can marry his new honey pie sleeze. He has abandoned you if what you write is true and he has a disabled child! You should come out smelling like a rose if you do divorce. Good Luck. And you can talk to an attorney now without having made the decision to divorce.

Answer 4

Enjoy the benifits. Your young children need you and a divorce would take up lots of time and money that can be spent with/on your kids. If you dont want to feel like you are just saying that its ok by not leaving, ask him to send you all to another state or city where there is a "better school" for your disabled child. If he asks for the divorce then you make sure you get everything you want.

Answer 5

first of all, I'd let your attorney work up papers that state, you get 1/2 of everything... ask for alimoney, child support, he will have to cover all health insurance needs for both children (and maybe you.. ) but definitely the children and he'll pay all attorney fees and court costs. And regarding the house... that's something you both have to agree upon as to whether or not it gets sold or who gets the house. whatever you do - DO NOT sign a "Quit Claim Deed" on the house (what that does is take away your rights to ownership, but you'll still be responsible for the mortgage).

Answer 6

You sound selfish by asking if you should "enjoy the benefits". You should be thinking of your children. You mention them last, after you describe how much he is paying for, what you have, etc... Get your priorities straight. If he is living with another woman and having another life, then what are you doing? It could be hurting your children to see that daddy is living elsewhere, while saying he is married to you. Think of how confusing it is to them. Sorry to hear that your financial stability comes before your children. :|

Answer 7

normally I would say if your on your own you pay, but here the circumstances are a lot different, and so I say yes if he is willing to pay and you can live with the infidelity, why not, but the gravy train will come to a halt some Day, so I would suggest you start to save as much as you Can get your hands on for the rainy day that is coming

Answer 8

I'd stay. You won't only have to pay for the expenses you listed, but the divorce itself. You'll have plenty of arguments when you divorce, and nothing much exttra that I can see.

Answer 9

for now, enjoy the convenience. try reading Malcolm Gladwell's novel, "Blink." It'll help you a lot.

Answer 10

unless theres another man you love youre better off right there
hopefully youre working in case things change....give him s*x