How do you deal with agressive women in the workplace?

Question

My boss is an arrogant, agressive, overly opiniated jerk most of the time with all the qualties of a true SOB - except she is a woman. If this were a man, I could punch him in the mouth or at least have a serious conversation about his attitude - but I feel this is inappropriate given she is female.

Answer 1

Arrange a meeting with her. Explain that you find her manner unprofessional and inappropriate. Just because someone is the boss does not give them the right to be (as you put it) an SOB. Every time your boss berates you or behaves in an unprofessional manner, be sure to point it out in a mature, calm way.
"I'm sorry, but I find your tone offensive/unprofessional/rude/ out of line/etc. Do you think we can discuss this in a more productive manner?"

Hope this helps, good luck

Answer 2

Why does being a female make it different? She's being a bully and she needs to be dealt with like you would any other bully -- by standing up to them! Since this is in a business climate, you need to be professional about it. Organize your notes and your thoughts on the subject, then ask to have a meeting. Be direct and polite, but outline your points without being a "jerk" back to her.

Then detail your specific complaints using "I" statements rather than "you" statements. "You" statements sound like you are blaming the other person for the problem rather than taking ownership of the problem. Your own hurt feelings and such are not as important as finding an equitable solution to the problem.

If you can't get satisfaction speaking with your boss directly, then go up the corporate ladder -- your boss's boss, human resources, the board of directors, ect. Start with the next person in line and work up, never jump to the top of the ladder because you'll piss off everyone between your boss and the owner that got skipped over. When you talk with these people, be polite and respectful -- not only to them, but to your "problem" boss. If nothing else, maybe they can reassign you so you don't have to work directly with your current boss. Good luck!

Answer 3

Are you sure about this? I know that only you know the real situation, but let me ask you this: is this just a strong, confident, knowledgeable woman, or do you have issues with strong women in authority?

There are two options here. If she really is a boss from hell, then you need to minimize your interactions with her, perform your best, know what her buttons are and yours (so you don't offend her and you guard yourself from being offended), and also think about transferring to another part of your company or moving jobs altogether. I'd recommend books about working with or dealing with difficult people for a start. There are different types of difficult people like bulldozers, scene-stealers, top-blowers, etc.

If she's simply a strong, competitive, knowledgeable woman in authority and you just don't like women like this, then welcome to the 21st century. Get used to people like this. Such is the way of the world.

Of course you wouldn't punch anyone in the mouth if you want to keep your job. But you could have a serious conversation, in a polite manner. However, I also think there's some covert sexism going on here. You seem to have expectations of behavior based on gender, and in the 21st century this just doesn't cut it. People are people. You can't be sexist anymore.

Work on accepting yourself, and you'll find it a lot easier to accept others as they are, no matter if they are male or female, or where they fall on the workplace ladder.

Good luck. Hope this helps. Cheers, K

Answer 4

simple use the "bigger dog" approach- when one person tries to dominate you, dominate them. If you intimidate her just a little bit without threatening her, she'll leave you alone. This can be done easily by watching her movement. She will generally look you in the eye. Knowing that a person has one dominant eye, you should observe which one that is, and give her a stern look in the other eye. This puts people on the defensive. When she comes at you with something in a conversation, come back stonger with a solution for her problem. Always say everything as if you know the best way to do everything- in other words, assert superiority.

This technique works well with dating too!

Answer 5

You should do what you would do if she was a man with that attitude. She probaly acts like that becuase everybody lets her get away with it because she's a woman. Maybe she just needs to be taken down a notch. Of course she is your boss so I would do so very carefully. Try finding something in common with her and srike up a friendship, maybe she'll be different then.

Answer 6

This is so sexist!

Firs of all, do you really think you'd punch your own boss in the face? And do you think that it would be very clever of you to do it?

And second, why can't you have a normal conversation with her?

You're a jerk.

Answer 7

What does her being a woman have to do with anything? Document her behavior and deal with it like a man. Or, just dropkick her ***.

Answer 8

TREAT HER LIKE A MAN!!! and you would not PUNCH your boss.

Tell her her attitude is not working for you. don't soft peddle because she has a vagina.

Answer 9

If she is really tough, she won't care when you smack her on the duff as she walks by.