we have been together for a year with ups and down. i love him very much and i am going to be there for him. i just need a little bit of advice.
2006-11-15 03:45:57 · 48 answers · asked by jolie t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You already have ups and downs. This man is not an honest man.
He is only thinking about himself, not you. If he were thinking about you, he would have asked you before now.
I'm wondering how old you are. When I was a teenager, my boyfriend went to jail and told me to gain 50 pounds and lose it when he got out. Does that sound rational to you? Of course I didn't, I kept on dating and he was different when he got out. He was very bitter and angry.
I don't know if he's alive or not anymore. I'm 40 years old. Last time I saw him, he was living with his parents and turned into a cutter. I'm glad I didn't allow him to drag me down with him.
Save yourself for someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I'm sure he's treating you good now, he's desperate, please don't buy into it!
2006-11-15 04:23:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No not a good idea . First of all its only been a year and if your thinking of marriage then you'll be thinking of marriage after he gets out in 2 yrs. What's the rush? Maybe he knows you will find better while he's in jail either way he's rushing into it because he knows that your relationship won't stand the test and its the only way he can keep you. If you have had ups and down the first year don't you think you should cut your loses and move on? The first year is supposed to be the best year. I would think long and hard if you want to be tied down to a Jail Bird? and when you tell ppl your married and your hubby is in jail how you gonna feel? Ask yourself : Do you deserve better? When he gets out you can always start your relationship over why rush into things now when its only been a year?!Obviously your young and have your whole life ahead of you do u want to say you have been divorce before your 30? He can't take care of himself and may have some immaturity issues I don't know why he's going to jail but it could be cause he hasn't learned to grow up. Think about things for your sake b4 you rush into a marriage he's not going anywhere you can find him whenever you like he'll be sitting in jail have a life...live alittle grow and mature and see how you feel when he gets out 2yrs is a good amount of time to learn about yourself. Good Luck :)
2006-11-15 05:40:25 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is doing time right now, we have been together for 4 years and I married him in there. He only has about 2 years as well, but listen if you feel your going to be with him for the rest of your life then you should. Whether or not he is in jail, if you love him than where he is would not matter.
A lot of people have their opinions about this question and its a tough one. If you truly love him and would be getting married to him even if he was not going then I would say do it. Most prisons have a program where the wife can go and they give you an apartment for the weekend and you stay with him. Believe me, its not that bad, and neither is waiting if you love someone that much. Just make sure he does the right thing when he comes home because you don't need him pulling you down with him. God bless and good luck
2006-11-15 04:10:15 · answer #3 · answered by Bella 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
first of all why is he going to jail for 2yrs---is this the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with---don't marry him now -- you will see in time that not every one has a darkened past--do you love him or feel sorry for him. think about your future
date other people ===you can still visit or right him while in jail===. when out of jail is he on probation-well he do this again-
will he be able to get a job that pays well, when out of jail--chances are not--can you be happy just getting by or living off the system--you already stated you've been together for one year and there has been many problems. go back and read your question the answer is right in front of you.
2006-11-16 03:54:12 · answer #4 · answered by lake living 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh, please do NOT marry this person. 2 years is a long time to be without someone, and you have had ups and downs for the year you have been together. I think you would be better off staying single and dating while he is locked up, and maybe while he's in jail he will change and be the person he needs to be and realize jail isn't the place he wants to go anymore. No don't do it!
2006-11-15 03:59:00 · answer #5 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really should read what you wrote. I don't even know you and already I can see divorce in your near future with this guy. You admit that there have been ups and downs and it's only been a year. This man is going to jail for 2 years and he wants the guarantee that you will still be his. You really need to think about this. Obviously he is not a good catch considering he is breaking the law. Unless you have some sick fetish for "bad boys", I would suggest you get out of this mess. It is only going to get worse when he gets out. He won't be able to get a good job because of his record and he will always be considered a suspect when things happen in his area. Honestly, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who has started out with this many problems? Good luck and GOD bless.
2006-11-15 03:52:41 · answer #6 · answered by cookie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey, what can I say? think about your future. You have been together with him for only one year and he is going to be away for two years in jail. Do you really think is a good idea to marry him? Be there as a friend and girlfriend but not wife. If the love between the two of you is strong enough to survive two years apart plus the ups and down of him in jail, than you get married.
You do not know what kind of man he will be when he gets out. I do not know the situation but some man get out even worse, they get involved in several fights and stay longer in jail. Some of them have to commit murder while inside jail. Some of than are raped. I do not mean to scared you but what I am telling you is the truth. Also, You do not know how you are going to feel when he is inside of jail. Some women get lonely, they fall in love for someone else. He might get out as complete different man. Plus all the challenges in life. He will struggle to prove to society he is a good man, jobs, financial situation, family. The majority of times women are the ones that end up supporting the family and the man. honey think about, My suggestion wait un til he gets out, if your feelings are still strong to survive the two years separation, you get married. Good Luck to the two of you.
2006-11-15 03:56:28 · answer #7 · answered by bbluckylove 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like a mistake if you did marry him. That would be two years out of your life, that you could be doing something. What if you fall in love with another? Jail changes people, he would probably not be the same person you fell in love with, whether his change is postitive or negative. And while he was doing time, he would be wondering if you were having sex with someone else. I wouldn't go through with it, too much drama attached to it. Good luck! :)
2006-11-15 03:56:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might be better to wait until after his release to get hitched. A lot can happen while imprisoned and he most certainly will not be the same fella when he is released, and you may not love the same guy once he gets out. You have only been seeing him for 1 year so if you decide to wait it out you can restart the relationship then. But a lot of people who spend time actually come out a lot worse then before they went in and learn many more scams or ways to make fast money while inside. Best of luck to you and I hope you make a decision that makes you happy.
2006-11-15 03:51:16 · answer #9 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A man who will be going to jail for two years wants to marry you. Read that last sentence again. Does that sound like a decent man to you? And if he's going to jail now...what makes you think he won't be in and out of jail for the rest of his life? My advice? Steer clear of this relationship and find someone where you don't have to worry about potential criminal acts.
If you're adamant about staying with him, then WAIT until AFTER he gets out of jail. But don't get married right after. Wait at least another year so that he can get himself into counseling and start making the right path to a crime free life.
2006-11-15 03:52:25 · answer #10 · answered by Mary K 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋