Serious answers only please. Is couples conselling good or bad?

Question

I would like your honest opinion on it or if you have had the experience of using the service to please share your thoughts.

I am considering using it for me and my boyfriend but want to get some background information before doing anything.

Has anyone used e-therapy? Anything helps! Thanks.

Answer 1

My wife and I have been married for over 27 years. We hit a rough sport a few years ago and went to counseling. I can tell you that for us it was a very helpful experience. Sometimes it helps to sit down with someone who is neutral. When you do that you find you are not only listening to the counselor and your significant other but you end up hearing yourself too. I realized that I was a part of the problem and I also learned some great techniques for dealing with the tenser times. I would highly recommend it.

As for E-Counseling, I don't think that would interest me so much. The physical act of setting up counseling and going together to the appointment is in itself a re-commitment to the relationship. E-Counseling would certainly be easier but sometimes easier isn't the best route to take.

Good luck to both of you.

Answer 2

Counseling can be good for relationships as long as the counselor shares the same values and ethics as the participants. Sometimes people need help solving problems or working through issues, and If two people want to go to counseling, I think it's pretty wise.

Fortunately, I've not had to do couples counseling, but I have been to a counselor before to work through some personal issues. I think it's a wise and mature decision on the part of the individuals involved and shows a commitment to the relationship.

Answer 3

The benefits of couple counseling is that it tends to open up the line of communication which is the foundation of any relationship.
Considering that you two are not married (not meaning that bad), I would defiantly go to counseling before making a bigger jump. Some of the items discussed are how are your roles in the relationship (will you always work?), religion (do you come from different domination's?), children (how many want? types of discipline?), in-laws (how often visit? which holidays?), and of course the biggie, finances (joint account or separate? budgeting? future?).
If your boyfriend is unwilling to go to counseling, why? Is there a future?
I have not tried e-therapy (though I guess this is considered as such) and would caution you from using it because not knowing the true source or the background/experience can damage you and/or your relationship, not to mention the potential lose of confidentially, and during a repeat visit are you getting the same person. Many counselors look at body language to assist in helping you.

Answer 4

It depends on many things. How experienced the counselor is, the dedication of BOTH parties seeking the counseling and the severity of the problems the couple are having. My ex-wife and I went to 3 different counselors. Of the three, 2 were divorced multiple times and the third was...involved in an alternative lifestyle. Did not work for us obviously, but there are many very good counselors who CAN and DO help many couples. E-counseling...no knowledge on that area, sorry. It all depends on how much the parties involved wish to solve their issues and the abilities of the counselor.

Answer 5

Counseling is good as long as the two people involved in the relationship not only agree to attend sessions, but also agree on the counselor. If that criteria is overlooked then counseling will be ineffective with only one person participating or subjective versus objective if the counselor is preferred by one person and not the other thus creating resentment and further relationship complications.

Answer 6

I've been in marriage counselling with my ex-husband, so has my fiance with his ex-wife. Considering we are now engaged to eachother, that's two cases in which is does not work. I've read on Y!A a lot of people saying that it's a waste of money to go to counselling, and I have to agree. Counselling will only tell you two to open the lines of communication. That should have been done between you two all along anyway. Therefore, sit the boyfriend down, have a heart-to-heart, and save your money for something worth spending it on - which is not a counsellor.

Answer 7

Couples therapy is great if you find the right counselor that you both feel comfortable with. It isn't easy though...it means really exposing your innerself to each other and being totally honest. It helps both people together & as individuals to see themselves honestly & to work on being better people & better partners. I learned alot about myself & why I reacted the way I used to. It is work but well worth it to save a relationship with the person you love.

Answer 8

I think any kind of counselling to help you cope with whatever is going on in your life is a good thing. Just remember the counselor just offers suggestions, sets you on the right path, mediates between you, gives you some tools to work with but the two of you do the work. Counsellors are not miracle workers.

Answer 9

Therapy can work, but there needs to be a basis to build back up on. Alot of couples try and cling to what they know, but the relationship is dead. Relationships are like people in that aspect, when there sick they might heel, but when they are dead you can only try and remember the good times.

Answer 10

Couples therapy is good if he's willing. It's good even if he's not willing, but you'll have a harder time getting him there. It provides a much needed objective opinion in most relationships. Good luck.