What will happen to an emotionally or verbally abused/neglected child when he/she grows up?

Question

This is for my Psych class....some people in the class say the child will grow into an angry, distrustful adult, others say they will be in an emotionally abusive marriage, a few evan said they try to please everyone to win them over and get emotional support from others that they did not get from their parents. I am not referring to physical abuse at all.

and someone else said they would lash out at others, esp those who are not in a postion to say a lot back...like going to restaurant and getting nasty with the waitress.

Answer 1

everything that u said is true, it all stems from the effects that abuse had on the child, which results in Low Self-Esteem

Answer 2

I am sorry to say that I have three daughters whose father was both mentally and verbally (sometimes physically) abusive to them until I was able to get them out. By that time, they were 14, 12 and 9. I could see the effects of the abuse differently in each of them. The oldest became self-abusive, angry, anti-social and has had trouble maintaining relationships with men - usually choosing abusive men. The middle daughter is angry and distrustful. She sees the world as trying to hurt her. She is very negative and cares very little about others. The youngest is overly emotional and tries to get love from everyone. She is unable to express anger because she thinks that people won't love her anymore if she isn't perfect.

This has broken my heart over the years. It is only my fault that I didn't get us out sooner. My ex has borderline personality disorder and is an extremely difficult person. Since I left him, quite a while ago, he has been unable to maintain a relationship with another woman for more than a few days. I always thought and hoped that he would get better - he never did. The damage that he did to me and those children will be with us forever.

Answer 3

I can tell you, my sister and I were raised in the same type house hold. We were emotionally, verbally and physically abused. I can tell you what it has done to us. We have raised our children the exact opposite way as we were raised. I punished my children by taking things from them but never by beating them. My sister can't even punish her kids. We both tell our children when we are wrong or make a mistake. I'm sorry is something we have taught our children to say and that we say to them. We are not afraid to admit our mistakes to them.

We have let our children join everything they want and we take them every place we never got to go. I don't want it to sound like we have gone crazy in the other direction, but we just don't let our children feel as we did. My sisters kids are out of control, but mine are grown and have children of their own now.

I know that a lot of times people say they abuse their children because they were abused as kids but I can't see how that c an happen. I have done everything in my power to let my children know that they are loved and I am glad I had them.

As far as relationships go, I have been with my husband for 27 years.

Answer 4

I have personally been emotionally and verbally abused and neglected as a child. It has made me a very angry adult. I lash out at people who love me out of fear that they don't love me. I try to hurt others emotionally and verbally because that was done to me. I was also in a very abusive relationship, I said all I could to make him so angry and hurt that he couldn't help but lash out at me. I guess I can say that because I grew up as a neglected and emotionally/verbally abused child that I exspect it in my adult life as well, so I lash out to protect myself.

Answer 5

anything could happen really. not every abused child grows up with pathology! they might have a strong nature and get through the bad times. or all of that stuff could happen. who knows. but there's nothing that says a bad childhood causes these things...the stats just aren't there.

Answer 6

from experience.....I am a psychologist who went through this....It is possible to go forward and forget the past but it is hard to modify your learned behaviors( the way you deal with stress, adapting to normal relationships, etc.) substance abuse also a factor... reality isnt kind but you must always be adjusting to feel normal....having your own abusive, neglectful relationship is almost certain without some GOOD therapy

Answer 7

the way a perpetrated child turns out depends on the help he/she receives in dealing with such problems it all depends on the individual look into the benefits of psycho therapy it is usual for a perpetrated to become a perpetrator there isn't a specific answer to your question

Answer 8

Low self-esteem ; relationship problems , and possibly a problematic life .

Answer 9

I think you answered your own question.

Answer 10

All that you mentioned, and more... :(

Myst