Should I say something to my overweight mom?

Question

I love my mom so much. She has struggled with her weight since I was a kid. She is now in her 50s and is 50lbs overweight. She does not exercise. She does not work, so hardly ever goes out of the house. I love her so much and want her to be healthy. She is married and I don't know what my dad thinks of her weight. He does take her out and appears to love her despite her weight. What should I do/say to encourage her to loose weight? We live over 300 milse apart, so I can't go over to her house.

Let me add these details. Although she has struggled with her weight for a while, she has only in the past year been more than 20lbs overweight. I care so much because she is considered obese and I don't want her to have any health problems.
She is unhappy, but I think she needs encouragement because she is unhappy in other areas of her life as well. My dad works alot and is hardly ever home. That is probably contributing to the unhappiness. My mom is such a loving person and I hate seeing her so unhappy.

Answer 1

I think you have to be very careful how you approach this or you will hurt her feelings. My Mom is very overweight so I understand. Try talking to her about the fact that you can tell she's unhappy about something and you're worried about her. Maybe she will mention the weight and you can approach it then. Make sure you stress that you are worried about her health because you need for her to be here for you. That's the best advise I can give. My Mom is really obese & makes excuses for why all the time. If I mention it she goes into a rage. I hope you have better luck.

Answer 2

Keep your mouth shut about her weight. If she has struggled her entire life trying to lose it she is aware of this fifty pounds, and you telling her about it will probably hurt her feelings a lot. If your mother is middle aged maybe she is completely content with how she looks now and why criticize someone you say that you care about. Weight issues are not everyones problems, in fact you are the one that sounds like you may have deep lying issues over this. Before your mother gets help perhaps you should get some therapy and find out why you are so preoccupied with this issue. Do you have obsession over weight that you are transferring onto her. Trust me your father loves her unconditionally as heavy people can be lovable and attractive as well.

Answer 3

Let her know that you want her to be alive for a long time and unfortunately people who are overweight seem to have health problems; all the love in the world can't remove a clogged artery or high cholesterol. From your note I can tell you really care about your mother. Let her know how this impacts you and speak to her in a way that you would like to be spoken to.


Good luck

Answer 4

I don't think you should say anything to her. People that are overweight truly want to lose weight. She has probably tried and tried and has failed. It's not her fault, it's not that she is to blame or lazy, or doesn't try hard enough. Diets don't work. If you really want to and you don't think it would offend her, reccomend that she read "Overcoming Overeating" or "When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies", or you could give it as a gift. They're uplifting and encouraging. They explain a way to change your thinking about food and your body to lose weight through your relationship with food and not restricting food. It helps people reach their "natural weight".

Answer 5

I'm sure she is quite aware she is over weight. People should love and care about her no matter what her size. Speak to your father about taking a walk with her after supper and at other times. That's a start.

Answer 6

Let her know of your great love for her. and that you are praying for her good health. Tell her that loosing some weight will be good for her health,

Answer 7

If you really what to help, make fun of her. It helped me want to loose weight when I was in second grade and it is a lasting fix.

Answer 8

Your Mom's weight is not your business. You can be concerned, but to tell her about what she already knows is a recipe for trouble.

Answer 9

This is tough, as you want her to be healthy and happy, but maybe she is aware of her weight and feels nothing can be done about it

Answer 10

BE HONEST AND TELL HER YOU LOVE HER AND THAT YOU ARE CONCERN ABOUT HER WEIGHT .SEND HER SOME RECIPES FOR LOW FAT DINNERS .GET YOUR DAD INVOLVED AND ASK HIM TO HELP .HE MAY EVEN WANT TO JOIN YOUR MOM IN EXERCISING .ASK HER IF THERE ARE ANY HOBBIES THAT SHE CAN DO TO GET HER OF THE COUCH.KEEP ON ENCOURAGING HER AND YOU MAY SEE SOME PROGRESS.