i find that i do at least a couple things a day that tick my wife off and she tells me. is this number too?

Question

high for a marriage to be considered healthy. also, on three different occasions over the past year during arguments my wife had told me that she sometimes regrets marrying me. i think as a result of this, i am depressed a lot of the time. i have always had low self esteem and this has definitely made my self esteem even worse. is this a bad situation? as far as marriages go, what percentile would this fall under as far as "bad situations" go. would this be in the bottom quarter of all marriages as far as quality? we have two kids. she complains about my family.. i feel like i am always walking on eggshells about to do something that will further aggravate her. this is not what a marriage is supposed to be is it?

Answer 1

I think the first thing to happen here is that you and your wife need to sit down and talk things out. That way you can find out why she says she regrets marrying you. She sounds like she is upset more from the way your family is towards her. Are you trying to support her feelings when it comes to your family or do you just sit there and let them walk all over her and not say a word? Find out. Communication is the key if she is willing to talk. But you need to not be accussing and just ask.

Answer 2

I don't think that because you do things that tick your wife off it is an unhealthy marriage but the fact she has told you a few times she wishes she had never married you, to me that is unhealthy and mean. She should not say those things it is very nasty.I am not at all suprised that you often get depressed and have low self esteem.I feel sorry for your children also and what sort of messages is she sending them on how to be a good husband or wife one day. All bad ones obviously.You should not have to feel that you are walking around on egg shells in your own home and if l was you l would tell her to clean up her act or ship out. This is certainly not how married life should be. Sure we all have our faults, no-one is perfect. That includes her also though and she should get off your case and look in the mirror. There has to be give and take in all marriages. Good luck, hope all works out well for you, whatever you decide to do.

Answer 3

Sounds like you both need marriage counceling and maybe your wife needs some anger management.

Marriage is complicated and hard. You aren't madly in love everyday. But you know that you love each other. Even during fights, you know that you are hurt and disapointed but you know there is that underlying love there that you can't ignore.
In my opinion anyone that would say that they regret (or may regret-same feelings are there) marriage has some issues that need to be addressed. The more you feel depressed and unloved the more you will pull away emotionally (and possibly do more of the things that piss her off)and that just gives you a great "push down the stairs" to divorce. Seek counceling! Good Luck!

Answer 4

Dude, its time to stomp on some eggs.

The next time she mentions that she regrets marrying you show her the door. " If you don't want to be here there is the door". This is an effective method for delivering the wake up call that you are tired of her BS. She knows that you have self issues and is using them as a control method. If you work and provide for your family, deliver a fair amount of love and affection generally help out around the house and with the kids you are doing your part.
Quit putting up with a critical nag. I'm certain that you have thought of some very hurtful responses regarding things like her weight or I could have done better myself but it is better not to use them. No need to lower yourself to her level.
Man Up. Adopt the attitude that you require respect in your own house. If she is not willing to provide that tell her to get out.
Her attitude will not play well with any other guy who is self reliant like she wants. Offer her the opportunity to find out.
All of this happens because you let it. Quit being so meek with this.
Put an end to this BS and do it soon or you will be in agony for ever.

Answer 5

You are screwed. She holds all the cards. Quit your job now and be a stay at home dad. That way you are taking care of the children and she can't take them away when she eventually decides to divorce you. More than two thirds of divorces are filed by women. She is an abuser and you should leave her so she doesn't ruin the children. After you have the power back you can make her appreciate you and her children. Go ahead and flag this as a bad answer or report it as a violation. It is expected. The truth hurts.

Answer 6

Your home should be a safe harbor for you and your kids, and not a place where you have to walk around on eggshells because you fear you might say or do the wrong thing that will set your wife off. As the saying goes....when people get tired of something, they'll put a stop to it. Either you keep enduring this or do something about it.

Answer 7

No, marriage should not be as yours seems,she should not insult and degrade you, even more so if she is aware of your self esteem issues. It appears she knows she can get away with it so she does it more. Discuss with her when you are "getting along" better and ask her why she insults you and wishes she wasn't married to you. If she is so unhappy she should not take it out on you, and should just leave. Marriage is about friendship, compromise, love, trust, etc. Not insulting, degradation.

Answer 8

I sympathize with you but it's something you have to grin and bear I'm afraid. Don't be so sensitive. Try showing your wife more attention and some love. Maybe take her on a date or surprise her with some flowers or make her favorite dinner. Or just bust your butt cleaning up the house and taking care of the kids. Who cares if she complains about your family? your first and foremost priority should be her and to love her and take care of her. You have to look deep in your heart and see if you love her or not. If you indeed love her then you'll put up with the ****.

Answer 9

I don't know what percentile this falls under, but sounds like she is controlling. You have three options: 1.)you can be her lap dog all your life; 2.)you can seek counseling together; 3.)or you can get out now, while you are still young and have a chance to find someone who cares about you. Women get annoyed at their spouse at times, but sounds to me like she is extreme about it. Not a good role model for your children. Good luck! :)

Answer 10

No this is not a healthy marriage,but if you want to stay you should seek council,then after a while get her involved things might work out for the best,at least you'll no what to do...