My bf and I have been together for only 7 months and he has been living with me for 4 months. Big mistake to begin with. I am a single mom with two kids. I can't afford the rent by myself. I have always had trust issues since my ex husband cheated on me. I have checked my BF phone in the past and found some text messages that where a little more than friendly and I told him about it. He was very upset that I checked his phone and said that the girl(s) are just friends that he jokes around with. Last night he came home drunk and I checked his phone while he was sleeping and found text messeges he sent to a girl saying that she is a woman with getting to know. I have seen the same number on the bills for the last 2 weeks. I can't confront him because I know he will just deny it. What do I do when I can't afford to move out at this point. Should I want it out to see if it is just a phase? He is usually always with me and he is a great provider. Help, I am going nuts!!
2006-11-15 02:33:51 · 7 answers · asked by Singlemom32 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Like most relationships, it all comes down to what you are willing to accept. He is cheating on you. Are you willing to accept that in exchange for him providing financially for you? Some women are, some women aren't.
2006-11-15 02:39:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! But not in an "Irate" manner! Just find a time that you and him can talk."Alone",not in front of the children,and just ask him straight up,"Do you feel this realationship is going to last or do I have reason to be worried you are cheating on me".Let him know that you have "insecureitys" of being cheated on,do to your past! But do it in a kind,humble manner! and dont raise you voice or get defensive,that will cause problems,I know this from experience That you can catch more "flys with sugar.than vineager! And that way if you are prone to argueing all the time and getting mad a upset,he wont know how to react ,he may even be 'shocked' that you are not going on the "Offense"at him and stay strong! You can get thru this and you will make it! Keep telling yourself and Be POSITIVE ,and if this is affecting your children,he isnt worth it! You and those children come first!Be strong! I will keep you in my prayers! And above all dont bring up the 'past' men hate that,just tell him your feelings and if is with you amost of the time,and if he is a good provider,build him up and tell him how good it is to have him and maybe he needs a little reassurance and never get "jealous" that will just make him react in a negative way,I have been married for 26 years to the same wonderful man ! and yes he is very handsome to this day,and when women look at him and they do,I dont and have never gotten jealous,It is a Compliment to me! I know who he married & who he is in love with! You just take care and try this and have a different attitude,he will come around !Good Luck and God Bless!
2006-11-15 02:55:07 · answer #2 · answered by Marcy L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit down with him and talk to him about how you feel. DON"T judge or accuse him. Trust is a big thing and if you can't trust him then you shouldn't be with him. If it gets to that point then find something that will work for you and your kids since they come first. If you let him how you feel and what you would like out of the relationship then maybe he will comply. And try to trust, I know it is hard, but it will eat you alive if you don't. But just ask him outright what he wants from this relationship and what he wants from the others girls. He should respect your wishes if they are acceptable. This goes for you too. Good Luck and Best Wishes.
2006-11-15 02:43:38 · answer #3 · answered by Curious33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you should note that you have never mentioned love in here once. you obviously don't love him, he is just a provider for you. so do you really care if he's seeing another girl, or do you care that he might not give you money for the rent?
anyhow, you know he is cheating or going to cheat. there is nothing you can do to stop him. more than likely he is going to lie about it when you confront him. if he's lying to you now he'll lie to you then. i would suggest leaving him because coming home drunk, and cheating, is not a good example for your kids. not to mention he could bring you a little gift called a "STD"! let him go. you can do worse on your own, you don't need him to help you. pick up a second job, ask your parents or friends for help, move in with a roomate, or rent out a room in your house to a responsible person. you have options, you don't have to put up with this. gain your strength and kick him out.
2006-11-15 02:43:21 · answer #4 · answered by yumyum69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all stop checking his phone. You are only asking for trouble. If you snoop and find out that he is actually cheating...are you going to leave or put him out???? Ask yourself...If you are in a situation what you need him for the rent what options do you have. I say deal with him until you can do better or look into additional employment options so that you can make the rent on your own.
2006-11-15 02:43:12 · answer #5 · answered by mothersister_3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely in the starting up, he blew you off for awhile even as he were given decrease back, secondly he lied many cases about kissing the female and thirdly he informed you to suck it up even as youd did not like him searching at different females. He doesnt look very thoughtful of your emotions at this aspect. you should have a lengthy communicate and ask him if he honestly cares about you, tell him you want trust and honesty or it wont artwork. you want to be ambitious or he will purely walk throughout you. If he appologizes or has the same opinion then tremendous. purely dont placed your heart to a lot into it, or you'll finally end up getting damage again. If he doesnt agree then solid riddance! there are diverse different adult adult males in eire, you deserve more effective :) you gave him 2 years for goodness sacks lol. Which also potential that is hard to enable flow, yet purely communicate over with him. inspite of takes position is for the finest.
2016-11-29 04:05:05 · answer #6 · answered by santella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's an ugly situation you're in. especially since there are children involved, it certainly doesn't make it any easier.
perhaps you could find a "roommate wanted" situation...roommate-not lover, in your local paper.
2006-11-15 02:38:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋