I just got out of a 13 year marriage to my second wife. I loved my her, but she wanted to change me. That didn't work and we got divorced.
I have harbored feelings for my first wife all these years, so I called her up only to discover that she is now divorced from her husband of ten years. Both of us were cheaters, and misfits in our marriages. Now I just want to go see her and profess my love, even though I know we can never be together. Since neither of us is cut out for marriage. What do you think?
2006-11-15 01:35:38 · 16 answers · asked by Picasso 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh yeah, i think you should but approach with caution.
Think of the siblings both ways. don't go to abrupt. People can get confused. Do it right to last.
What have you got to loose?
You are not cheating anyone neither is she.
Maybe things can work after all these years of separation and you (both) are more experienced now.
Just don't play with your lives. Time apart was not wasted, was invested. Maybe is tame to ripe.
Respect her and demand respect and have a wonderfull life!
2006-11-15 01:44:39 · answer #1 · answered by Maka 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The ex wife will always be around because of the children. I'm 25 years old and I have never been married. My parents have been faithfully married for almost 35 years. Marriage even after divorce has meaning to me. Your boyfriend and his ex wife have a history together that cannot ever be erased. Some people try and erase a person's history by getting remarried and having other children. Sit back for a moment and think about yourself and the future. Can you picture being in the current circumstance for the next 30 or 50 years? Personally, if a man has children I would only date him if he was a widower. I know some people can handle the dynamics of a blended family. I could never deal with an ex wife because there are to many variables. If something unexpected happens like an accident or illness people can change and want to be close to family or friends from the past that are familiar. Even though your boyfriend may not have feelings for his ex wife on the surface it sounds like it could change at anytime. I wish you the best of luck if you decide to get married. Now is the time to do some soul searching and think about yourself. If you are happy and content that's wonderful. Remember that there are many single guys around without an ex wife. Good Luck!
2016-03-28 00:57:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not love that you have for anyone. You learned how to con and got what you wanted, now you want to con again. Going back to or with or seeing someone from the past you walked away is the wrong thing to do. Even the courts when you divorce say that relationship is forever broken and one person is not supposed to ever bother the other person again.
If you loved your second wife you would have found common ground and agreed, yet you say she "wanted to change you". You weren't the person she wanted. And clearly your first didn't want you either. Being married is a wonderful thing, a warm feeling, caring, working together for common causes, and frankly is better than being single, so when you say you weren't cut out for it, well until you get your head on straight you're going to flounder. Why are you so stubborn? What in marriage are you afraid to experience? You aren't giving your 110%, maybe you don't know how to. Just move on from the familiar and look for someone other than your past two.
2016-01-12 02:22:57 · answer #3 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough one, big guy.
This could turn out to be a disaster, if you both throw yourself into each other's arms for comfort and have yourselves a little affair.
I suppose there's little harm in a friendly conversation, comparing both your inability to establish and keep relationships going. On the other hand, what real purpose would that serve?
It might be best to just leave the past back there somewhere. It sounds like you have a lot of personal things to work on to achieve real happiness in your life, and it's not likely that going back to a former relationship - and a busted one, at that - will provide you with any real help in that direction.
2006-11-15 01:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just follow your heart rather than stay haunted by the dreadful question of 'If only I had...'. But do make sure you don't harbour any hopes of reconciliation because 1) the woman that you once know might be a very different person now 2) she might not share the same feelings for you. Nevertheless, don't sit and contemplate, just do it!
2006-11-15 01:39:00 · answer #5 · answered by citrusy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got married again before moving on and letting go of your first wife, and that marriage didn't work? No suprise there. You need to move on and let go so that you can finally deserve a real relationship that stands a chance.
2006-11-15 02:15:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Call her up and make a date. Then in person tell her of your feelings. The two of you are much older now and their may be chance that the relationship could work now. Good luck and God bless*
2006-11-15 01:37:48 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is worth a shot after all you were married you were in love with each other for a reason and now your older and more mature and you may actully get along better
I would go for it
2006-11-15 01:49:48 · answer #8 · answered by BabyDolll128 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see her otherwise you will always be wondering. You never lknow, both of you may have done a lot of growing up since you were together. You don't necessarily ever have to get married again.
2006-11-15 01:38:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey why not?
maybe it wasn't the right time before but now it is.
Just be careful you are not just in Rebound mode. You have to be sure of your feelings for both your wives first before you go breaking hearts again.
good luck.
2006-11-15 02:13:01 · answer #10 · answered by cajoesgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋