Friend being induced @ 36 weeks?? Isn't this a bad idea?

Question

She has a past history of anorexia and is not allowed to see her weight while pregnant.
Unfortunately a fill-in nurse told her her weight and she broke down crying.
Now the dr.'s agreed to induce her at 36 weeks so she doesnt stop eating in an effort to not gain more weight.
I am 33 weeks pregnant myself and dont know what to say to her-
personally I dont understand and I feel that the dr. and her are being ignorant???
Isnt it a little selfish to harm the unborn baby in a fear of getting fat?
AM i being mean?
I cant help but feel a little disgusted at the situation-

I know it's not my call- she keeps telling me about it though and we go to the same dr.
I dont know what to say

Answer 1

that's a really bad idea. her baby may end up in the NICU for a while as a result. this is foolish. one of the leading causes of new born death in this country is prematurity so when people chose to make a baby premature is just foolish. yes its really selfish to induce because she is worried about fat. if you cannot handle being pregnant you should not have children. I'd be disgusted in your shoes as well. i think you should tell your friend how you feel. does she realize that she could end up with a c-section as well. so maybe she wont be fat but she'll have a big scar. also depending on what they use for induction she could be putting her self at risk. cytotex is often used to induce people and it is not approved by the FDA for that use. its called off label use and is legal. (once a drug i approved by the FDA it can be used for anything else doctors see fit even if its not what the FDA approved it for). check out the risks of cytotex. perfecly healthy women have had their utrus rupture (even ones who have never had a c-section or surgery) as a result of cytotex. sure its a small number but it can often lead to infant death, and death of mothers or an emergency hystocretomy. i think an induction is pretty much a big risk for a woman to take and dangrouse for her and they baby. medical communities work based on figures and its allowable for there to be certain levels of birth related injuries because of the way things are reported. also if she would stop eating while 8 months pregnat in an effort to not gain weight that is super selfish and she should not be a mother. that is being neglectful of her baby.

Answer 2

Very bad idea! She's crazy to risk the health of her unborn child so that she won't gain anymore weight. The nurse is an idiot too! Maybe you should tell her that women usually gain about a pound a week in the last month of pregnancy. That's only four pounds! By the way, the doctor is an idiot too. Inducing a woman for aesthetic reasons is crazy.

Okay, maybe it is more beneficial if she is induced if there is the risk that she will not eat. That could harm the baby even more. At least the baby will be able to be fed if she is induced. She had no business getting pregnant and having a baby if she was going to put herself first. Disease or no disease.

Answer 3

I agree with you on the disgust part. Why would a woman put her vanity above the health of her unborn child? Or even how could she? This is the 3rd story of this sort I have heard this week! WOW! I do think the friend is being way ignorant. Now the doctor on the other hand is playing it safe not to make the mother cause unnecessary harm to the child.

I will say that with my first child because of my blood pressure I was induced at 36 weeks and everything was fine. A way different situation though.

And...NO you aren't being mean at all. Personally I would avoid the situation and be cordial when I happened to see the person.


***Remind me again why it's a bad idea to issue a liscense to have children?***

Best of Luck with your baby!

Answer 4

No, you are not being mean, you are being concerned, you're being a mom. It's female nature, for the most part. Of course, my questions is where the **** is the baby's father? Does he not care about the situation, about the baby's health? Does he know what is going on? I am not advicing you tell him, but if he is around and he does care he should not be kept in the dark about this. But that is just my opinion.

People have given a lot of advice as well as their opinions, but if you are that concerned talk to the doctor. Say you understand that it is none of your business but you are concerned for the baby and your friend. Ask for the whys, ask for the risks, ask how you can help, and if does not give you any answers or he gives you half-*** answers, ask another doctor but be descrete: do not use names.

As to what to say to your friend, that is up to you though wait until you hear what the doctor has to say before yelling at your friend. There may be something else going on that you don't know about, something that DOES make being born early safer for the baby. Only way you will know, though, is to ask.

Personally, I would be honest with her, tell her how disgusted and disappointed I am in her, but that's because I have dealt with anorexic people in the past. My best friend from highschool was anorexic due to other mental disorders and had to be put on "happy pills" so she would eat like a normal person. My aunt is anorexic and for the past five years I have watched my family tip-toe around the situation and ignore it while she has gotten worse and worse. I have tried to confront her once about it and was quickly told by my grandmother to mind my own business. Three weeks later my aunt was admited into a psyciatrics ward after telling my uncle he was a murderer for eatting a salad. So, my advice is not as logical as it should might be.

There are always risks in situations like these because no two people can agree on how any one situations should be dealt and the more people you add, the more opinions you get, the more risk is involved. But in this case there is a thrid party, the baby, to consider. No, you are not being mean. Yes, you have the right to be disgusted. Yes, it is none of your business BUT she is your friend and she made the choice, sick as she is, to be a mother and if she is or becomes too sick to be a good mother that child is going to need someone be it his/her father, grandparents, aunts/uncles or a good friend to care for it.

Think of it this way, all it takes is one nosy neighbor who has no idea what is going on to see your friend with a new born baby getting thinner and thinner. All it takes is one fill-in nurse or one intern doctor to notice how skinny your friend is while she takes her baby for his/her check up and before you know it social services is at her door taking that child away. A nosy friend who understands the situation and cares is better than a nosy stranger who doesn't.

~~ Abaddon

Answer 5

wow!!! that's crzy!!!! well, my opinion is that the nurse should've been told not to tell her the weight or it should've been on the charts. your friend seems to be TOO ignorant to even be pregnant. pregnancy is about gaining weight..PERIOD!!! it's normal, VERY, VERY, VERY normal to gain @ least 30 lbs. when a female is pregnant. it's not GREAT but it's not BAD either to have your friend induced @ 36 weeks though because the baby has been in the fetus for @ least nine months and should be developed or @ least able to do some things a normal not born early baby could. I think that the doctor is doing something better for the mother and the baby doing this rather than letting your friend starve/malnutrition her baby to death, or even herself. I think your friend should not have gotten pregnant if she was going to have fear of getting fat. but she should also know that after having your baby the SMART thing is to NOT be anorexic but eat healthy, excersise, and start your baby on the same regimen. if your friend can't seem to understand than the bad idea was really in deciding to have that baby. and i think that you SHOULD feel just a little disgusted @ the situation and your NOT being mean, just kinda worried. hope the best for everyone

Answer 6

You are simply concerned not mean. The baby should be fine at 36 weeks. Check this site: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002398.htm

Week 36

* the fetus reaches a length of about 16-19 inches
* the fetus weighs about 5 lbs. 12 oz. to 6 lbs. 12 oz.
* lanugo begins to disappear
* increase in body fat
* fingernails reach the end of the fingertips
* a baby born at 36 weeks has a high chance of survival, but may require some medical interventions

If you are still concrned try googling Anorexia and Pregnancy it should bring up many sources of information for you. And I'm sure in there somewhere it will tell about the risks of not eating during pregnancy and some of the fetal problems it can cause.

And angie you need to read up on anorexia before you go assuming and accusing people of not deserving their own children.
Logman... wish you were my hubby! ;-)

Answer 7

The doctors must feel that the baby is big enough to survive at this point. It sounds like the best thing to do under the circumstances. I'm sure the baby will be fine. I had my daughter at 35 weeks and she was completely healthy.

Try to keep in mind that even though you think this is completely selfish on your friend's part, she has a disease and has no control over it. Remind her that she is very lucky to have conceived as most anorexics don't have normal cycles to nutritional deficiencies.

The best thing you can do for your friend is be there for support. Aside from the pregnancy, she will need all the support she can get in order to survive being anorexic.

Answer 8

Honestly, it's better for the baby to be born at 36 weeks (which is classed as full term) than to strave the baby for 4 more weeks and possibly do harm. Personally, I don't think she should be allowed to keep her baby. Who's to say she won't think her baby is fat and no feed him/her. I don't think I could ever be friends with someone like that. It's disgusting, selfish and the dumbest thing anyone could ever do. Why would anyone hurt there baby anyways, let alone for vanity reasons! She doesn't deserve her baby! P.S. Good luck to you with your baby and I am really glad that it does bother you, it shows you have a heart!

Answer 9

u got to understand that your friend is really sick. anorexia is a psycological illness, u can't beat it by reasoning.anorexia is not a disease about looking good and being pretty. i think its awful that the baby is paying for her illness. i guess the dr. thinks its safer to take the baby out now than to keep it in the mother who is giving it no nutrients. i would hope the dr checked to make sure the baby's lungs are mature. its one of those things that u r da**ed either way. 36 weeks is a week early. i think the baby at this point is safer outside the womb than in.
u being pregnant yourself i can see why u r concerned. u r not being mean, but being a true friend.

Answer 10

It'd be safer to induce her into labor and have the baby, than send her home and risk her starving herself. Because if the baby is born, it can at least get what it needs to eat. Plus 37 weeks is considered full-term, so she's not that far off anyway. The baby will be just fine. When you're pregnant, if you skip a meal, so does the baby. The doctor made the right decision. And hopefully her doctor referred her to a specialist to get help with her disease.