Do you get where you are fine, in a good mood, until your spouse comes home...?

Question

and you then start to get either depressed and/or grumpy.

just wondering how many people feel this way and if so, did you do anything about it?

I did see a therapist about this. Said it was a normal feeling for my situation.

Answer 1

Yes...I was married for 18 years and the last few years felt like this all the time OR didn't want to be at home when he was there. As hard as it was I realized it was because we had outgrown each other and weren't making each other happy. We have since separated and are living our own lives. We are MUCH better off as friends then we were as a married couple.

Answer 2

When the spouse comes home and all they have to say is either nothing or they complain to you about everything bad about their day, then who wants to hear just negatives...not me. Relationships can become taken for granted, where one spouse uses the other to let out their frustrations. It's sort of like kicking the dog, because there is no one else to abuse. After a while it becomes such a downer that you just can't take it any more. It's true, we envision our spouse getting killed in a car accident because we just wish it would go away, without guilt, it would be the easy way out, plus you could collect the life insurance. However, it is unlikely that you shall be so lucky. So are your feelings normal...yes, but probably nothing is going to change unless you take some sort of action. Either start communicating in a positive, proactive, progressive manner to get your marriage back on track, or find some sanctuary in a secret affair, or leave this situation behind so you can move on and start enjoying life again. Any of which won't be easy and will take work.

Answer 3

I know exactly how you feel. I feel the same way some days.
I don't how your relationship is, but I think a little bit of more time apart would be good. Leave him a note, telling him you had some errands to run, and go pamper yourself a little. Make yourself happy. And then maybe when you get home you will be in the mood to be around him. And it would turn the tables, to where you come home to him instead of him coming home to you. I guess it is just something to try. With me, I just deal with it. I will cook, do what cleaning I need, and then watch T.V. like I would if he weren't here. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Hard to admit but I would get excited when my first husband was late coming home, I'd hoped he was in an accident and was never coming home. I finally left him. I never admitted this to anyone till I heard my sister saying the same thing. I guess more people feel that way than we realize. I figure when it gets that bad its time for some serious help or time to leave.

Answer 5

I was that way with my first husband. Of course, he was a complete @$$. We were together only 5 years, and that was 4 1/2 years too many. Now, my second husband...we've been together nearly 19 years, and I don't feel that way about him at all. I look forward to him coming home.

Answer 6

Yes, because of how they treated me, abused me and I put up with it many years. I finally moved out with my kids. You may be resentful for some reason, see a counselor. have you talked to your spouse?

Answer 7

It happens but perhaps its a sign that you need to communicate better. Be honest and open with each others and these feelings will pass - if you both want them to.

Answer 8

I use too get that way it was because all he was going to do is nag! When he use to walk in looking depressed it mess up my day i feel you!!

Answer 9

I miss my man all day, can't wait to see him and then he walks in and opens his mouth and the day is shot.

Answer 10

I did wiht my first husband and I divorce him