Have been wandering what is normal "how many times" a couple should be having sex? My wife and I have been married for 15 years now and sex is almost non-existent in our lives. My wife does not seem bothered by that but it does bother me. We have two children and she always seemed tired. I help in cooking, cleaning the house, doing laundry and still there is nothing.
2006-11-15 01:16:05 · 19 answers · asked by knight_player 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes, as often as they both want to, unfortunately, guys usually want to much more often.
2006-11-15 01:18:11 · answer #1 · answered by Jon O 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love how this question is answered by so many young people who obviously have no idea about what it is like to be married for 15+ years, have kids and responsibilities. Life is different for everyone and every couple has to find its own dynamic. Unfortunately we are often not paired right with a spouse when it comes to our own sexual desires. Many different things can impact it on both sides. People will always tell you stuff like .. try to have a date night.. or be more aggressive. The best thing you can do is just talk with her about it. Also express to her how much you are still attracted to her and how you still desire her body. Also tell her how being sexual with her makes you feel so close to her. These are all buttons that for a woman will emphasize sexuality in her life. There is no normal amount of time. We all get tired and have things going on. Sure there is a perfect world in our minds but you have to work with what you have. Just be open and expressive with her.
2006-11-15 09:26:18 · answer #2 · answered by Patrick B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Every couple is different. The concern should come into play if you'd been having sex everyday, then all of a sudden, nothing. Has this been a gradual decline or was it all of a sudden? Fatigue will come into play, especially with children around, but not having it at all is a concern.
There could be several reasons for her not wanting to have sex anymore. Best idea is to talk to her about it without becoming accusatory or angry. If the answer comes back that she just doesn't feel like it, ask her to see her doctor to see whether or not there is a medical reason behind it. It could be that she just has a low libido now.
2006-11-15 09:21:28 · answer #3 · answered by tipper 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are bothered by the lack of sex, talk to your partner about it. Maybe she is bothered but doesn't say anything to you because she doesn't know how to bring up the topic.
Maybe if the kids are younger send them to a babysitter, and plan a nice dinner for the two of you at home. While talking at dinner just ask her is she is still interested in having sex. If she says yes then figure out what's been happening recently that has been preventing you two from being together. If she says no then you need to let her know that you are still interested in having sex and that is something you would like to share with her again.
I'm a big advocate for communication in a relationship. Asking us on Yahoo Answer is no substitute for asking/talking with your wife about this.
Have a wonderful day. :)
2006-11-15 09:22:08 · answer #4 · answered by SmileyGirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on both of your preference. What would be normal for you? Could it be two or three times a week? Some days I feel like doing it twice a day and sometimes it could be two to three times a week. It is even harder when you have children especially if they are young. Get someone to babysit the kids on a Friday or Saturday night and plan a romantic evening with your wife. Good luck.
2006-11-15 09:27:11 · answer #5 · answered by MiMi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no norm......I've been with hubby for 18 years...high school sweethearts....and married for 10. we also have 2 kids.... we used to be an every night kinda couple...but after our second child it did die down a bit....its true that your wife is probably tired.... i know i am....its great that you try to help out with the house duties....I've heard that woman see men doing housework as "foreplay" in a way....it works for me.....except my hubby doesn't do much of it...i understand he has a very stressful job...so its OK....I'm thinking your wife may need a little more...if possible try to make her feel like its all new again...try a date nite if you don't already have one...without kids if possible....and if you cant....try getting the kids to bed early..and have a picnic and a movie in the bedroom...be sure to have all her favorite treats. or just send her a thank you note...for all she does....just knowing that someone appreciates all you do really lifts your spirits and makes ya feel good! good luck.... and remember
absence makes the heart grow founder!
if you've found that its been a while.... just know that the next time will be amazing!
2006-11-15 09:26:31 · answer #6 · answered by michelleleea2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no 'normal' time - but if you aren't doing it at LEAST once a month, I'd start being concerned and say it's time to re-evaulate your marriage.
My hubby and I both work full time, opposite schedules, and between taking care of the house, the dog, spending time with family, it's hard to find the time. But 1-3 times a week on average is 'normal' for us.
2006-11-15 09:24:58 · answer #7 · answered by Cookie On My Mind 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No there is no normal amount of time. That's like trying to find a normal couple. What is normal for one isn't normal for someone else.
2006-11-15 09:20:04 · answer #8 · answered by ranchforman57 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We got married young, and it's been 20 years now, and I still can't wait for him to get home early for round 2! Beats breakfast, lunch and supper, they can wait!
2006-11-15 09:19:09 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must not be doing something right. Are you trying to buy sex by doing some chores?
2006-11-15 09:19:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋