My boyfriend and I were taking his kids (8 & 10) to their mom house. Called and asked if it would be ok to drop them off in 1 hr. Ex wife said "we wont be home, why do you always have to ruin our plans by bringing the kids home early"! Infact it wasn't early we had them 3 hrs longer then we were suppose to. according to the custody papers he can only have them for 48 hrs at a time. So we (us and the kids) talked about what we should do until their mom got home. then the text msg's started comming in from the ex wife or her bf, calling my bf names and accusing him of wanting nothing to do with the kids. basicly calling him a bad parent. We said we would be happy to take keep the kids since they ruin your plans. Ex said "dont start or its going to get ugly bring them home! As kids walk to front door ex wife's BF came outside and started screaming at my bf and cussing him out. Kids saw the whole thing. What would you do about it? keep in mind she has custody & uses that against him.
2006-11-15 00:32:03 · 12 answers · asked by mnm4213 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just so we are all clear I never talk to the ex or her boyfriend. And one of the reasons she got so pissed is because he wouldn't call and talk to her. Ex and her BF are the only ones in the wrong here
2006-11-15 02:03:35 · update #1
She sound like an immature person .Tell her that neither of you want the children involved in her stupid behavior and if she can't stop you will have to pick them up at someone elses house so u never have to see her at all ,Tell her to grow up and stop embarassing herself in front of the kids. You gotta make her feel foolish and maybe she will stop .
2006-11-15 00:41:30 · answer #1 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard situation to be in. For 1 the ex wife is being very immature about the whole thing. The 4 of you should get together and plan a meeting of some sort because that type of behavior should not happen in front of the children. Your boyfriend and the ex should try and have a civil relationship since there are kids involved. I was a child of divorce and my parents used me as the rope while they pulled me both ways. I had a lot of problems growing up where it got to the point of me seeing a therapist. You do not want to do that to these kids especially since they are at the age where they brains absorb everything. If that doesn't work though, bring a recorder and voice record everything, make sure you keep all the text messages, and keep a journal, then take it to the court and have him ask for custody. There are ways that you can put her in her place and just by keeping record of everything she says and does to you guys and the kids can get her a lot of trouble. Hope this helps!
-Sara Lynn
2006-11-15 08:38:25 · answer #2 · answered by Sara K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're giving a very small glimpse into a very complicated issue. I'm sure history would be beneficial here. And an honest look at both points.
Since the extra 3 hours were agreed upon, bringing them home when you did was actually an hour earlier than planned and expected...and it sounds very spur of the moment. Should she be sitting home on the edge of her seat just waiting for your bf to decide what time he'll be there? Thats not reasonable. I don't feel bad for your bf. He's the one that didn't fulfill his end of the deal. I'd have been pissed too, especially if she had to cut her plans short, and even more so if it happens to her ALL the time.
I've been there... and so have many other custodial parents, it happens all the time. Life doesn't stop on his visitation weekend. We use that time for ourselves, and thats within our rights. We should not have to cut plans short or change our schedule because its too inconvenient for him to bring the child home at the agreed time. Being angry about it doesn't make her a bad mother, it makes her human.
The nasty messages and abusive phone calls are another issue. That's uncalled for. But were they really nasty, or did they just show that she was annoyed? There's a difference. Just cause she's saying something in an unpleasant tone doesn't mean she's being abusive....she may just be trying to make a point, and being nice doesn't get ya anywhere sometimes, especially when its a repetitive problem. Fighting about it in front of the kids should never happen.
The solution is simple,....the agreed time schedules need to be maintained and respected for both parties... and seems that its your bf thats failed there....plain and simple. If you can't handle the responsibilities he has to her and his child, then move on and find someone without children.
2006-11-15 10:03:06 · answer #3 · answered by just_me3575 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
have a little contact as possible. Kids are old enough to do some of the go between. Stick to the custody order then she will have nothing to yell about. When dropping off or picking up the kids, stay in the vehicle. These are 8 and 10 yr old kids. They are capable of getting in and out of the car without your bf needing to do the same. If she continues to yell about him not wanting the kids, let him tell her that he would be more than happy to have more time, they just need to put it in the order. Don't text, email, etc. to her. Save everything she texts and emails. And by the way, since you are the gf and only that, sorry to say, but stay out of it, don't talk to her or her bf. And most importantly, don't you or your bf take it out on the kids, its not their fault their mother is acting in that fashion.
2006-11-15 09:36:20 · answer #4 · answered by Elvira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time Call the police But Don't Tell Ex That You Are The Show Up at door When It's Time To Drop Them Off.
2006-11-15 10:36:00 · answer #5 · answered by bob r 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, next time the kids are with you and your bf, explain to them that the problems between their mom and dad have nothing to do with them. If possible try to record what goes on, good evidence for a custody battle. I have two kids similar in age and their mom is always trying to change custody times as to not ruin her plans. The best thing to do at this point is stick to the court ordered custody times exactly, until mom and dad can quit fighting.
2006-11-15 08:37:34 · answer #6 · answered by WyoHunter 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
text msgs show time...save them. if this happens often get a tape recorder and record or going off and while doing so try to tell her to calm down and not do this in front of the kids. then with all your evidence, go straight to the lawyer and get custody. show him just who is the bad parent
2006-11-15 08:36:10 · answer #7 · answered by .......... 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Until the kids are 18 this is the way your relationship with your bf is going to be.
If you are going to get serious with him then you have a sample of your future life. Nothing is going to change.
2006-11-15 08:35:33 · answer #8 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
#1 From now on let the mom and dad deal with the kids. When he alone picks them up he should decide along with her what time he is going to bring them home. Then stick to it! Not 3 hours latter or earlier. Then he should drop them off by himself on time. Stay out of it until you are married to him. #2 I hope you are not shacked up with him
2006-11-15 08:57:58 · answer #9 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There isn't much you can do. That is what broken marriages and broken relationships bring. You need to protect the children even if it means be talked bad about.
Good luck.
2006-11-15 08:43:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋