A sincere question NO OFFENSE IN TENTED?

Question

For those of you who are gay or lesbians, once you have come out do you try hide that fact to your job, neighbors etc.? I hate people who hate(wow I guess I'm a hypocyrte) now there are some very openly gay people but with all the hatred that you guys face, do you think that it would affect a job promotion? For those of you who are very open, I give you guys a hell of alot of credit, but if it were my daughter with everything I've read on here, I would be so frightened for her. For those of you who are anti gay & reading this let me ask you something WHY would anyone choose to be hated be beaten up & have their families tormented? The answer is because they DON'T choose it, God made & loves us all.

People who think that it's a sin please don't bother answering

Answer 1

I dont usualy tell peole my business nor do I flautn my sexuality. I leave it where it belongs in the bedroom. NOt to say that I wouldt admit it if I was comfortable with the person asking. I dont agree with being extra OUt and practically wearing a rainbow flag or a raiblw pin. SOme people get a little over zealous or proud.

Answer 2

It comes down to choosing your battles. I live in Massachusetts where I am legally married. Everyone I work with knows I am gay and has met my wife. They have no issue. However, our corporate office is in Arkasas. I started this job in July, to this date no one in corporate knows that I am Gay. I don't see the need to tell them, if they ask I won't hide it, but i don't want to deal with reactions. I have been casually asked if I am married, if I have kids, etc. They know I am married and have no children - so they probably all assume that I am straight since Equal marriage is not legal there.

When I "came out" here I had to gauge it. You quickly learn how to read people and how long you should wait to introduce yourself as a "gay person". I will usually hold off on telling someone I think would have a negative reaction until they get to know me as a person and a co-worker - then they are less likely to react

Answer 3

I admit, I spent a lot of years in the closet. out of fear of the hateful people that still exist in this world. when I first finally realized I was lesbian, I didn't know one person who was gay. at the time, the early '80's, AIDS had just come to light, and all the bigots jumped on the finger pointing bandwagon telling us the was God's punishment! appalling and insulting, especially since AIDS isn't a "gay" disease. I was in college, living at home, and didn't have enough money to go out on my own...and, being afraid of my parents possible reaction, I said nothing until long after I had moved out. I have always been careful about who I reveal this to. but I have found that my family, friends, and my coworkers are very supportive. we have a very diverse office...a couple other gay people work there, as well as being very racially mixed. I have never "flaunted" who I am, but I don't lie about it and it's been years since I was "out."
but, you are correct. God created and loves us all! no one "chooses" to be hated and tormented. it's the bigots who "choose" to do the hating!

Answer 4

The closest thing I do or have done to closeting myself is simply avoiding gender specific terminology when discussing my relationship. That's it. If they have a Problem they really can go take a flying leap for all I care. Ninety Percent of the companies I have worked for do include sexual orientation as part of their non-discrimination policy and I HAVE called managers on the carpet about it before(and yes, they got fired), and I have absolutely no problem with doing it again.

Answer 5

I am openly gay and in a steady relationship. I dont however define myself as gay, there are hundreds of adjectives that better describe who I am. I have little to prove to narrow minded hateful christian people so I am selective towards who I tell of my sexuality and I dont see this as hypocritical at all. All the crap that gay people have to put up with just makes you a stronger, more resilliant and interesting person. I wouldnt change it for the world.

Answer 6

This medium allows people to say things they would never have the guts to say to someone's face. Yes, hate crimes and discrimination happen, but it does for alot of other things, such as mixed marriages, and simply being female in some professions. You need to teach your children to protect themselves in any circumstance, remember straight white men get mugged and killed too, and really dead is dead so the motivation being a robbery or a hate crime isn't going to be important to the dead person's family. A hate crime just makes it more horrific because its personal.

But I don't find what I read hear translates to the real world. I think most people are too afraid to really voice their opinion, especially if they aren't surrounded by other bully's. I dare any of these "religous" nut cases to go into any Leather bar and spout their rhetoric. For that matter, I dare them to go into a Drag bar and do the same. Those sisters don't take alot of cr*p. That's why hate crimes are usually not one on one, they are usually a gang of thugs against one person because they are cowards.

As GLBT we have the option to live in communities that support us, like anyone else. We don't have to spend our money with companies who discriminate against us. We don't have to vote for politicans who don't represent us. We do not have to accept discrimiantion in the work place, we can address it through proper channels or simply work some place else.

I am out at work, I bring my g/f to work affairs. My manager is a young man who's wife left him for a woman, and she also got custody of their daughters. I could understand if he let his emotions about his personal life get the better of him and used it against me, but that has never been the case.

Yahoo answers is a playground for alot of people, so don't take them seriously.

Answer 7

I hear you (I'm 40, female, straight) At work the other day a guy said "Yeah, me & my BF were watching TV" and I felt so happy for him that he could just put it out there (I've only been at job 2 weeks). He was so comfortable with who he is. I guess all g/l face some sh*t at diff points in their lives, but that guy was so comfortable. I guess you couldnt come out halfway. You'd have to go all the way, otherwise you're hiding secrets from friends/family/work/neighbors. Gosh, thats a helluva way to live

Answer 8

I'm out EVERYWHERE.

I'm a very stereotypically masculine guy and work in a male dominated field. (auto repair) Being out may have cost me a promotion or two along the way...especially back in the earlier days...I came out in 1978.

But, while it sucks to not get a job, or to miss an opportunity because of someones bigotry, I always figure someone who wouldn't hire me because of my orientation isn't someone I'd want to work for anyway.

I've never lived in an area where sexual orientation is a protected class....not really sure if those laws help or not.

Answer 9

Actually, about a week ago being out as a transsexual cost me a job. They way I see it, I'm a good employee. Their hate is now their loss. As for hate from "society," I've just learned to ignore what others think and have a good time. If someone has a problem with my sexuality and gender expression, it's their problem.

Answer 10

Honestly I know many gays and they have a dont-ask-dont-tell policy - and I agree with them because of the hatred out there. I love my friends but somepeople are just ignorant. Just because someone likes guys dosent mean hes going to like you - you understand? Most gay men are uber picky.