your relationship with your partner is not doing good for you but he thinks it is. you dont want to hurt him thats why your trying to stay in the relationship that you think is not working for you anymore. when you had a chance you cheated and you think your falling inlove with him and same as him but worse, your both married with kids and both afraid to hurt your partner. but you both want to keep each other and go home pretend that everything's ok and live your life with guilt.
2006-11-14 23:38:34 · 14 answers · asked by jhennie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honestly l am getting sick of hearing my relationship wasn't going very well ,so l cheated !! That is no excuse. There is no excuse for cheating !! NONE !!. You should never put yourself in a position to cheat if you are married. If you want to be unfaithful leave your partner, then you are free to do what you want. Don't you realize one of the most hurtful things you can do to your partner is to cheat on them. I don't really know what you should do. People say what they don't know won't hurt them but l don't know about that because things have a way of coming out and it could make it worse. The fact that there are children involved makes it hard but you both deserve to pay for your actions and l believe you should tell your partners, beg for their forgiveness and live with the guilt of the pain you see in their eyes. If they can't forgive you so be it. You were unfaithful not them, you must suffer the consequences whatever they may be.Perhaps you would think twice next time.
2006-11-15 00:10:23 · answer #1 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since this is hypothetical, we'll assume the offending partner is you.
The first and most desirable solution is to STOP the cheating.
Regain your self respect which you tossed aside by F....ing around. Keep your mouth shut about it lest you destroy what's left of your marriage. Then go back and tell your husband that you are having problems in your relationship with him even if he thinks there are none.
Work on your marriage and try to determine why you went outside the house to find what you used to have. There is little excuse to have done that without giving him a chance. Presumably it was good once or you would not be married. What changed? Change it back. You have the ability to use your cheating energy to fix your marriage. Ultimately the best solution.
Avoiding pain? You have no idea what kind of pain comes with being blindsided by a lying cheating wife. Because at this point that's what you've become , a liar and a cheat. No amount of wonderful lust can undue the destruction of your self esteem, if you have a conscience. That temporary feeling is fleeting and will never offset the amount of pain suffered by the families concerned. Don't want to hurt your partner? You've already hurt your partners they just don't know it yet. Every time he wants to be intimate and you don't want to because you already got yours you hurt him. Every time he asks you what your thinking and you cannot tell him because you are thinking of some other guy's dick you hurt him. Stop the BS. Grow up.
This does not even begin to address the fact that you are the mom to children . How many times have you told them not to lie.
Do as I say not as I live is no way to raise children.
2006-11-15 08:19:04 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your type makes me sick!!! The cheating type that is, I HATE CHEATERS. If you are not happy at home with husband/wife get a dang divorce before you start seeing someone else for Christ sake. How in the world can people say that they love their husband/wife and then cheat on them, you do not love someone and then cheat on them!!! When you cheat on your partner you have no respect for your self or your partner at all. And further more I have no respect for either one of the cheaters, my heart will go out to the one that was cheated on. You are teaching your children that it is ok to cheat on their partner as well when they get older and have a partner of their own. If you would have devoted your cheating energy to your own family that you have with your fling, things might have been different. Just think, the time that you are spending with the other person, you could be spending that time with your kids and your own partner instead. Your kids and partner deserve a better person than that. You don't have any communication with your partner or else it would have not come to this. Just think of how many people this is going to hurt. There are names for your type and for your lover and you know what the names are to. I don't give a flying flip at what anybody says...cheating is NOT normal at all !!!! You need to grow up and stop being so selfish!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-15 08:26:34 · answer #3 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm having relationship issues right now but no matter how bad it gets I will never ever be tempted to betray my partner. We have 3 children who are very young but even so I would not want to hurt them but making their mum & dad's relationship bitter. You need to stop the cheating & talk to your husband. Decide whether you can make the marriage work, both of you need to do this. Bottom line your husband needs to know how you feel!
I got some really good advice from people, the best was to figure out the reason for being unhappy etc then try to work from there, which we will do!
2006-11-15 09:17:03 · answer #4 · answered by C Greene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people dont realize what they have until its gone. You probably have these feelings for this guy because it is new and it always feels great to have someone interested in you. When the person you are with now you probably had the same feelings when you first met so what would make this any different with this new guy. I would tell your current partner about what you are doing and hopefully he will forgive you. But, at the same time you and this new guy might just be right for each other. It is a strange world out there and there are no easy way to do things. best of luck
2006-11-15 08:44:45 · answer #5 · answered by D R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have committed the most selfish act one spouse can perpetrate on the other.
Your love is in reality infatuation. Your living a double life, the one with your spouse has responsibilities, bills, kids, housework, ect. The one with your lover is a fantasy with no responsibilities, its la-la land.
Unless you want to further destroy lives, your spouses, your children's, and your extended families you both need to have NO contact with each other.
2006-11-15 07:57:15 · answer #6 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well perhaps you shouldn't have gotten into as serious of a relationship if you had your doubts..
its not fair to your bf, he thinks everything is okay and you've been lying to him.. isn't better he know the truth.. so that way he can find a new woman who isn't going to cheat on him.. and who loves him for him..
2006-11-15 07:54:29 · answer #7 · answered by steph 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you were a man I would call you a selfish bast...rd. As you are a woman it is natural for you to stray. It is in your nature to always want a better man. So just as you are disatisfied with your current husband not meeting your expectations you will soon be disatisfied with your new lover.
So as you let your feelings rule your life you probably always will. So follow them and seek pleasure. You may never live at any deeper level.
2006-11-15 07:49:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You will need to make a decision and make a change. You are both miserable and so is your husband and his wife. You may be too busy with each other to realize this-but it is true.It is also very unfair to your mates.
2006-11-15 07:42:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you cheated, then it's over, let the other person be. Personally I don't get involved in relationships so I'm good.
2006-11-15 07:40:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋