that broke us apart was his huge debts to the Government and the other was his distorted ways of how to ask a wife to help him financially. He told me that I should work to pay for my food. In my country, here in South America, a husband would not talk to his wife this way. We work to help them out, but never to pay for our own food. I found it to be a rude way to address to a wife. I still struggle with this request of his. I found it to be sort of abusive. Not only that, he would always told me his son would come first and I quit my life in my country to follow him. I felt as an outsider at their home. That was too much and I had to leave him and came back to my country. Please, tell me......is this most American husbands acts towards their wives? There are times I wonder if he married me to help him out on his finances. This has been a struggle to me. I am back now and safe, starting a new life but I always wonder about this. Thanks a lot.
2006-11-14 22:46:18 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Due to some comments in here, nobody answered my question about Americans wanting a wife to pay for her food.
SECOND: WHY DO SOME AMERICANS THINK WE WANT A WAY OUT OF SOUTH AMERICA? SOUTH AMERICA, especially some countries here are GREAT to live. We just met and fell in love, why to judge people, as one person in here wrote a stupid comment?
2006-11-14 22:56:05 · update #1
Not all American Men are like what you've described but alot of them are caught up in materialistic self absorbed, self centered and in to what you can do for ME syndrome!
Sorry to say you married a classic Gold Digger in the Man form---He got the financial help from you and threw you a way like yesterdays garbage.
I am proud that you stood up for yourself and your self worth and integrity. No woman should be put in a position with an ultimatum of working for their food. You hit the nail on the head---the man you married is the worst kind of abuser---he does mental, emotional and verbal abuse----
I am glad you are safe in your own country and making a new life for yourself---Hopefully this man won't come looking for you! If he does don't let him back into your life!
2006-11-14 22:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To be truly honest most American men are not like that. I believe he was wanting you to help him out financially and didn't really care about the marriage. As for buying your own food that is ridiculous on his part. Marriage is a 50/50 partnership. You buy food, clothing, personal items together NOT separately. In his mind I think if you bought your own food he wouldn't have to spend his money on you to help take care of his financial problems. When you work does he want you to give him your pay check? If he does then he's definitely only after your money and could care less about you. Your his ticket to paying his way out of debt. Your absolutely right he is very rude, a real husband would not treat his wife like dirt. He's very inconsiderate towards your feelings and very disrespectful to say the least. I don't blame you for leaving him and going back to your country to start a better life you deserve to be treated with respect and with dignity. Trust me there are plenty of men that will not treat you like he did. You just have to be very selective next time you try to find a man for marriage. Just keep in mind is he in it for love or money? If its just money then he's not worth it. If I were you I would do a background check on anyone that you plan to have a permanent relationship with so that this won't happen again. It's well worth it in my opinion. I wish you the very best! Good luck and stay safe! Blue eyes, to me it's not just a way out of South America for you. That's not the case he pretended to love you and to be honest you fell in love with him not knowing this was going to happen. That doesn't necessarily mean its your fault by any means. Personally I think South America is a very beautiful country and most men treat there woman there with respect. But like I said it has nothing to do with you wanting out of South America. You love your country I'm sure and the imbasol you married is to blame for taking advantage of you in this situation. Like I mentioned above you NEVER should have been made to buy your own food. Only a selfish man would do such a thing, greedy to also explains it as well. Thats not a marriage, only a way to control you, and make you do whatever he pleases.
2006-11-14 23:04:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your bad experience. He sounds like a complete and total IDIOT! Not all American men are like that! Just like anywhere, some are good, some are bad. My first husband expected me to be the one to support the family and his drinking habit. My husband now, and the love of my life, is a wonderful loving, caring, traditional man with traditional values. I am a stay-at-home mom, because the two of us agreed that was best. He financially supports me AND my five children from my first marriage. I maintain the home and the workings of the family and support my husband emotionally. It works well. We're all very happy. Neither of us is better than the other. His role has value, obviously, to our livelihood, and my role is equally as valuable. We're each other's best friend and RESPECT one another mutually.
2006-11-15 00:25:47 · answer #3 · answered by mom of five 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think this is a typical attitude for an American husband to have towards his wife. I myself married a foreigner and I would never treat her that way. I would also not put anyone else before her. I love my wife and as far as i am concerned we are equal partners through thick and thin, the good times and the bad.
Looks like your husband may have married you for all the wrong reasons and see's you more as his servant than his wife. I am sorry that you have had this bad experience, all American men arent that way. I wish you lots of good luck and happiness in your future
2006-11-14 22:55:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No not all American men are this way. There are good and bad men of every nationality. It sounds to me that you just picked a bad apple. I would divorce him if I were you and find a man who wants a wife that will work with him as a team and not a slave. Good luck
2006-11-14 22:50:33 · answer #5 · answered by juicie813 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you picked a loser :( Sorry. Not all american men are like that. Since I"ve been married I've never worked. I stay at home and take care of our home and, now, our child. Sorry that you had a bad experience.
2006-11-14 22:49:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I doubt he used you to pay his bills; if he WAS that stupid, he obviously didn't have enough smarts to do his research and know you weren't that well off. He was a type(called an opportunist), not a nationality. There is NO WAY to attribute a stereotype to a country anymore than you can a skin color or a hair thickness. You didn't choose well, or he didn't live up to your expectations...chalk it up to bad choices and try not to make the same mistake again.
2006-11-14 22:50:48 · answer #7 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You are partly to blame, you obviously did not know to much about him before jumping into marriage, were you looking for a way out of South America.
2006-11-14 22:50:53 · answer #8 · answered by MUSHMAN 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
sorry to hear that but yes most american men are scumbags...
then again you can find a good one herre or there... but i recommend if you know God to pray for the one that was created specifically for you...
and if you dont know him.... ask the creator to reveal himself to you fully so u can meet elohim's son jesus :D
then just live for him and trust him with ya life... and he will make it all work out.
2006-11-14 22:49:32 · answer #9 · answered by israeli_stuck_in_usa 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Find a man that will treat u right!
2006-11-14 22:51:19 · answer #10 · answered by hotbitch69_xoxo 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋