what do you think of this i wrote?

Question

i know its not great but im bored and it took like 10 minutes =)

burnt and boiled skin
peeling off at the siems
and im laughing as she screams
she's my love for nicotine

iron umbrellas for protection
save me from her acid rain
her blood spews like poison
and her skin tastes like pain

she's the horror in my head
she's the ghost under my bed
if you gave her a sweet rose
her kiss would turn it into lead

giant metal clanking killers
her pheromones her perfect perfume
knock you down with one swift blow
they pin you with her ample thorns
and hold you to a count of a million and three

she'll kick your trust into touch
a touch that all the drugs in the world can't numb you from
you'll still feel her biting nails
drawing blood and stealing skin
will she use these things to clone you?
having fixed a thousand things?

closure comes and goes let's face it
if you can face her without staring
like a parachute not opening
it takes a while to find your bearings

burn the pictures of yourself
leaving her ones on the shelf
she'll be the only one that knows
the things that you do to yourself

Answer 1

its okayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

I sounds like you're in alot of pain and have a lot of resentment. It's very visual. What is it about? A woman, drug addiction, etc?

Answer 3

this is the coolest song i have ever seen by a person whos not really a famous singer!!!!you shud go in idol-if u have a nice voice

Answer 4

Oh a real talent there i must say.

But next time not so depressing......

Answer 5

its nice.infact quite good writing for boredom.

Answer 6

That's really good :) i like it

Answer 7

it's okay, nothing fabulous but still okay

Answer 8

its ok......
good....


thnx...
God bless....