How do I tell if my son has homosexual tendencies??

Question

My son is 37 years old and has a wonderful devoted wife and three children but he is more devoted to a male friend who he works with. He does more for this man than his family and he has given up the holidays this year to go hunting with this friend. He spends alot of his time talking with him when he is at home with the family. And his wife is really trying to help but he gets so aggrivated with her and the children and I am worried that she will get tired of trying and leave and the children will be hurt, I think this is the main reason she stays now and that she loves him so. Do I have a reason to worry and what should I do? Do I try to talk to him? He does not open to anyone except his male friend about anything. He does more arguing with his family and just ignores most of us. What do I do?

Answer 1

Well, I am not sure that his suspected homosexuality is the issue here. From what you have said, he is neglecting his wife and kids for another person and it doesn't matter if it is male or female. He could be suffering from depression or some other psychological or emotional upset - this happens to men at that age, and they often bond more closely to their male friends for support - but he is not being open with his wife and that is not good for a marriage. She needs to try to get him to Relate or some other counselling service if she wants this relationship to survive.

As for you, what do you do? Nothing, I am afraid. It is between the husband and wife. You can let her know that you are aware that all is not well, and you can tell your son you are worried about him - but that is as much as you can do until your practical support as a grandparent is required. I wish you all well.

Answer 2

Get to know your son's male friend, be open and friendly (if he is his "special someone" he will be in your life anyway.) My feeling is if you suspect this is the issue it probably is what is happening. Let your son know in a private moment that you will love him and accept him no matter the problem. He could be afraid of losing everyone's love when he "comes out" so is distancing himself now before others have a chance to reject him. The cause for his anger could be the stress and frustration of living a life which to him is a lie. You might point out his outbursts to him and ask if anything is bothering him. Once you form a relationship with his friend you might vaguely ask if he knows if anything is bothering your son because you are worried about him....see what he says. Whatever you do and whatever the outcome, it is always good to continually reassure your son that you love him unconditionally and that you always have time to talk if he needs you. Best of luck and God bless.

Answer 3

The description you have given may suggest he might be Homosexual but cannot define it! May be he owes some debt either monetary or psychologically. He may be respecting him a lot, That's why it may not be possible for him to say "no!" Also sexuality is a spectrum ranging from heterosexual to homosexual with bisexual tendencies to persons with no sexual affiliations at all! Try to speak to him directly in soft language. Do not suggest anything to his wife! That may aggravate his familial problems.One thing can be done, see whether he is ready to take whole his family for vacation!

Answer 4

This is a marital issue between your son and his wife. It's not your battle to fight. And as his mother you should have no idea if he has homosexual tendencies, that's his private sex life no matter if he's married or not. And so what if he is... he's still your son.
It doesn't sound like being gay is the issue, it sounds like you are ashamed that he has shirked his duties as father and husband. He is 37, and probably feeling trapped in mid life. It sounds like avoidance. I would suspect depression more than anything else. His wife needs to talk to him, not you.

Answer 5

Well have you just sat down with your son one on one and came out and asked him? No matter how upset he may get, just tell him that you want to know. Because if he is gay and staying married because of the kids he is only hurting himself and his wife. There are also support groups for Families of Gays and also spouse support groups of those that have gay spouses. Check out PFLAG-Parents Families Friends of Lesbians and Gays. Here is their website. I am a PFLAG Parent.
http://www.pflag.org/Get_Support.coming_out.0.html

Answer 6

Well, first off, there is nothing at all odd about going hunting with his friend... Know quite a few people who wait all year to go hunting again and the mention of them being gay for it would probably wind up with the person saying it being hunted for real.

As for the rest, I'm at a loss unless know more about it.

Answer 7

Wasn't Jesus all about love and acceptance. By the way "church" as we know it has long been on the political scene, and where the truth in all this is impossible to find, its corrupt and a lot. Heard about the Irish preists on the news lately? You may punish him for porn but not for loving someone, and perhaps if you believe of sex post-mariage. But that might be a problem in the uber conservative USA.

Answer 8

try talking with his friends or his other coworkers he may have lost his love for his wife and may be this is his way of showing it, I
don't really think there is a real cause to be alarmed about his sexuality but it is possible If all fails ask and good luck and God Bless

Answer 9

This relationship with his male friend doesn't necessarily mean he is homosexual, it would appear they just have a very close bond and he feels very comfortable discussing personal things with him. This may be because his friend does not pass judgement on him and simply supports him, making him feel comfortable rather than confronting him and causing arguments. You need to make him feel comfortable to talk about his concerns rather than confronting him about yours.

Answer 10

He probably feels like he can confide in his friend more than his wife, I would suggest counseling. I hope everything works out.