I'm feeling very bad today because it has never been worse as this. I even used my hands and scratched him. He was abusing my parents. We live in a joint family and there are so many things that are actually directed by and from elsewhere. I too call his people names at times but I never hit below the belt. he did that today. So what do you think people? What should I do and where exactly are we heading?
2006-11-14 20:18:03 · 9 answers · asked by pakir poyum 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talking is the key to any relationship. Sit and be civil with him. I am sorry is a great start, but make sure he is sorry too. Set lines that can not be crossed without recourse. A joint family is a hard thing some times but it is just the way things are. After 6 years he should know what is off limits but he may have just needed a reminder.
2006-11-14 20:22:52 · answer #1 · answered by Hello!!! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its never fun having a fight with your partner, the best way to sort things out is for both of you to sit down and have a good chat about it. When you say you live in a joint family I take it there's more than just you and your husband and any kids you have living in the same house. Maybe you should think about taking a short holiday together, just the two of you, even if its only for the weekend.
2006-11-15 04:21:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are heading to the pit, I am afraid, unless you start jointly working on the situation soon. I would suggest to him that you have a nice dinner together (ALONE). Make an agreement with him beforehand that you want to talk and that he will not be allowed to speak until and unless you allowed him to. Afterwards, try to open up to him completely, mind and heart. After you are done filling up, ask him to tell you back what he thought you said. If you are not happy with the answer, ask him to try again, and again, as long as it takes. Once you feel you are completely understood, ask him to do the same and not allow you to talk until he is completely satisfied that you understood him. If you can pull this together, you will know that a lot of the anger and dissatisfaction are gone and only then you can begin to understand each other better. Good luck.
2006-11-15 04:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by seek_fulfill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters you shouldn't have hit him, and he shouldn't have said bad things about your parents. However I'm a bit confused do you all live together. If you do well as well as getting things calmed down with your husband you need to move out.
You need to sit down with your husband and communicate find out why he said the stuff about your parents. Apologise for hitting him tell him that you feel bad about the fight, but that you don't appreciate what he said.
Then if you do live with your or his parents I think that you need to move out of each others pockets because this obviously isn't helping the situation. At this moment I don't think that it's heading anywhere bad, but you need to talk and find out why these problems are occurring and what you can do about them
2006-11-15 05:33:28 · answer #4 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the h3ll...we need more details. What do you mean joint family? Living with family? You don't need counseling; you need to move out! Or are you guys in a bi-racial relationship? (you said "his people.") If so, I think that it's just another form of fighting dirty from time to time. But you can't let it become a regular thing with the racial comments...and don't hit anymore! Get counseling if it continues.
2006-11-15 04:32:52 · answer #5 · answered by chelleedub 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Head to the nearest Marriage counselor with your husband. There's a lot of anger in your relationship and needs to be released. Living with family cannot be easy.
2006-11-15 04:21:51 · answer #6 · answered by ginger13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ABUSE 2 ur parents is unacceptable-abuse 2 anyone is unacceptable...if he really "hit below the belt" I would probably NOT speak 2 him till he apologized- i hope u don't have n-e-more fights--good luck dear!!
2006-11-15 04:23:06 · answer #7 · answered by anjL_iiiz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every couple gets into fights. You should not have hit him physically and he should not insult your parents. Sit down and talk about it or go to a couples councellar.
2006-11-15 04:23:05 · answer #8 · answered by GOAL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was thinking you are so happy to be married.
Just shut up and don't make any noise. Silence is Golden.
2006-11-15 04:23:48 · answer #9 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋