My husband and parents does not get a long....?

Question

me and my husband have been together for 7 yrs. we got married 2 wks ago. we have a 2 and a 5 year old. im 23 he is 28.(im the money maker-but ofcourse he does not admit that) they have always been "hot" with each other, but today for the 2nd time (after making up last year) my parents needed $10k and they will pay us back in 1 month. my husband said no, but i was able to force him to lend them 5k. today they askd for the check and i refreshed my husband's memory, he said he does not know about this. he is just being a complete a**hole. i cried, i begged to let them borrow, he keep on insisting he needs all the money in the bank ($100k) he talked to her and said he needs it for something. then, after 2 mins talking, he told my mom that he will not let them borrow because they dont know how to pay back.(but they do) they borrowed $100.00 dollars and forgot about it (but HE DIDNT) my parents are so mad at me, i want to kiss his a$$ goodbye but i dont knowhow.im afraid of what he can do

when we needed money, they always lend us way back then, now they need it, i dnt have a doubt to lend it. but my husband is playing sick power trip game on me and my parents. my parents always hated him and the other way. the only reason they talk to each other is bec of me and the kids. im trap in the middle of all this. its like choosing between my 2 kids. my husband is an a**hole and ive known that for years but i just cant seem to leave him!!! i know i will live w/o him but im stupid, sooo stupid... he does not respect my parents, he talks to them like they are 12 yr olds... (he wasnt like this when we only had $20 in the bank... money change people.... im going crazy... its 1:30 am and i have work @6am and im not near sleepy bec. of this. im the loser in this fight!!!

Answer 1

Marita: You have a big problem on your hands. You just been married for 2 weeks, have 2 children and a terrible marriage. You were 16 and he was 21 when you got together. Here's where the problem started . A 21 year old man going with a 16 year girl. You haven't had much time to go out with other guys and do the things you wanted. Usually, older men go with younger girls because women their age "catch on" to the type of guy they are; so the guy knows this and goes after a younger girl. In this case ... you. Now, you have 2 children and a husband in your life and things are not what you thought they would be. My advice is this. Since your husband and your parents do not get along very well together, you have two choices. Firstly; you can go and see a marriage counsellor ( if he doesn't want to go - you go alone). Second choice is to move far away from your parents, to avoid them borrowing money and your husband fighting with them and you. Personally; I think your husband is a cheap "skate" and a big jerk. But; you are married to HIM not your mom and dad; therefore, you are obligated to your husband first. If your husband abuses you, call the police and have him put in jail. In Canada, the police will charge him even, if you do not! (Called, "zero tolerance"). I hope things turn around for you because you and your husband are a real mismatch ! Good luck to you "Marita" !!!

Answer 2

Depending on why they need the money and why they couldn't borrow from a bank is the biggest issue. If they have good reason as for medical emergencies or legal fees, and you know they would pay you back, then you should consider. Write an agreement up with a notary and have your parents sign it. If you are the bread winner, then you contribute most of the finances. It's your call, and if they would do the same for you, then do it. Your husband needs to get over his self & not refuse to help family just because he doesn't "like" them.

Answer 3

I think your parents are using you. Unless they have suffered some kind of recent loss to justify their needing to borrow money, I think they will continue to do this throughout your marriage. Borrowing $100? That is more scary to me than the $10,000. I could probably find $100 in my house and car if I looked hard enough. Maybe there is a reason your husband feels the way he does and maybe he is right.

Answer 4

I think your husband has a point....................my parents would NEVER ask to borrow that amount of money from me.
$10k is ALOT of money to borrow from someone. And we all know that borrowing money from relo's can cause alot of strain.

I think if your parents need to borrow so much money they should get a loan from the bank, or try other avenues, because this will get in the way of you and your husband.

Answer 5

First of all, when you get married, your husband comes first. BOTH of you should have agreed 100% about this loan; not "you forced" him into it. That's one of the worse things in a marriage to let family come between your husband. Then again, all family's should work together to help each other out. What if you need a loan someday? This is where real communication comes in. But I WOULDN'T do anything behind my husbands back.

Answer 6

Why are your parents borrowing money from you and not the bank? And what do they need the money for? How will they be able to pay you back so soon? This sounds a little odd to me too, I think you try to look at the situation from your husband's perspective.

Answer 7

U have to examine the matter coolly and placing urself in his position. If, after due consideration, u find him to be in the right, please accept the situation and act accordingly. B/w r u2 and ur parents living together. It wud be a good idea to live independently so that day to day frictions are avoided.

Answer 8

what the hell.. when preparing for kids you didn't think of your parents & lover's relationship. now where the hell the poor kids will go seeking their parents love & support ? what do you think that your relationship with the partner is only in your bed? if you are comitted to him ( marriage is commitment ) than go along with him, anyhow. family breakups are too bad for kids. and the issue is also not this serious, council him & them. all the best

Answer 9

well you are in some mess you have your husband on one side and your parent who gave you life on the other side. if they really need the money give it to them.don't let money break up a family.the money will be there when you are dead and gone. you can't take it with you. you and your husband need to sit down and talk it out.if you give your parents that money will it break you.will your bills wont get paid. if no give it to them. your parents shouldn't be mad at you because your husband wont let you give them the money. you need to sit down with your parents and talk to them and tell them if you don't have that much to give them tell them you will give what you can. good luck because you need it.

Answer 10

wow whatta not so cool guy you got for a husband!! what does he need the money for anyway?? just lend them the money!! they obviously need it, i bet they feel bad for even asking you for it, besides they are your parents!!! they raised you!!! if it were his parents he would lend them the money not expecting a pay back!!!! you shouldnt lend it to them ..just give it to them say its an early christmas present!!! they are your PARENTS!!! moneys money.... its always there, it doesnt leave, it doesnt stop talking to you, it doesnt love you back!!!