Am I selling my life away to be with this girl or am I just in love?

Question

Before I met my current g/f of almost a year I was doing really well. I had a job I had held down for three years. A car that I worked overtime and did without for for 6 months to save money to pay off. I worked out and ate healthy and was in the best shape of my life etc. After I met her basicly all my focus went to the relationship. I stopped saving money and started spending it going out and doing things with her. I no longer work out b/c all my time is spent with her. I don't eat healthy b/c she won't. I lost my job b/c she hated that I had to work some nights and I ended up quiting. I went from having a decent paid off truck to being really upside down on a newer car that I pretty much just bought to impress her. I've become an alcoholic b/c I'm a really shy person sometimes and her family that I now live with is really upbeat so I drink to keep up. I've got nothing in my savings and a couple grand in credit card debt.....

My point is my life went strait downhill since I met her. The only upside of the realtionship is I am deeply in love with her. I've tryed breaking up with her for my own good but everytime I do I feel horrible without her and come right back. Should I just change the way I'm doing things or is she the problem?

Answer 1

You'll go through this more than once. It is what keeps the economy going.

Ive done it a few times myself.

Women drive the economy, if it wasnt for women there would be no economy, think about it

Answer 2

It sounds to me like you had better run fast!! I have been with someone like this before and whether you realize it now or 5 yrs. from now she is CONTROLLING you..it's like being brain washed..She don't want you to do this..so you don't or she wants you to spend more time with her so you quit your job..And hey like I'm sure she has already said it ,..she didn't tell you to quit that job..she just made you feel bad about not spending time with her,so like the good guy you are you quit and I'll bet she knew you would. And workout no-way you probably look better than her and she don't want anyone else looking at you..isn't there other people at the gym..people she don't know..and other women..she can't control that environment so she makes it almost impossible for you to go. And the big one your living where?? At her parents..Yep that's her environment also..
Ok so lets see.. no job,bad food,no exercise,no savings,and now in debt.. And do you know what will happen if you stay with her a couple more years???
Your going to be broke,out of shape with high cholesterol (a drunk to boot)and a woman b******* at you because it's all your fault when she first started dating you....you had a job and bla....bla..bla..Yep been there done that (with a controlling man)and the sad thing is that you'll probably believe her..Yep another shot at that self-esteem.. That how control freaks are!! Like I said before run FAST!!!

Answer 3

Problem is not her - problem is you, you have become too dependent on her and it is not good, women do not like when they feel that man of their dreams is a crybaby and only thing he is looking for in woman is a shoulder to cry on.
First of all you need to get a work, save some money and move to different apartment - it never does any good to live with your or her parents, there are always more problems.
It doesn't matter what she likes to eat, you need to have your own point of view - it is not necessary and is even boring when somebody always agrees with you in everything.
It is good that you really love her, but trust me it is never enough to keep you together.
Good Luck - I think you are just having hard period and it will pass soon, you will wake up from this dream and get back to being your own self.

Answer 4

You should talk to her . About your finacial status . Ask her if you two can cut down the number of movies you watch each week ? You can sell your car cause taking a bus together is also romantic . You two can go to the supermarket and buy some fish , vegetables etc and cook . 2 candles won't cost that much . Create your very own candle light dinner . It'll be more romantic and cheaper than those dinners you eat in the restaurant .

Answer 5

She is not the problem. You are. You allow her to control your whole life. If you don't or can't take control of your own life with her in your life, then you are quite a failure being a man. Having a woman you love should add to your quality of life not take away. Put this question to her and ask her how happy is she with you in such a state. Is she satisfied with what you have become? Is she worried about your zero savings and credit card debt? If she's not worried I would question her sincerity to you and to you both as a couple. How can she allow you to take her on such a road of destruction or vice versa.

Answer 6

A woman who loves also really cares for her man as far as eating and spending . She is helping you to become a alcoholic This girl has no such quality She will let you spend as much as you can and have a good time. You say you love her. Not really. Move out of her house and find another girl who will encourage you to have a job and look after your physique and help you eat right. Quit while you can

Answer 7

seriously I think you have answered your own ques. If this is what you have turned into upon being with her do you really think she is good for you. Of course it hurts so bad you want to go back. Do things to take your mind off of her and keep yourself busy. Eventually through time the pain will subside and you will move on. You already don't like these things about yourself, use the time after your break up to busy your mind and yourself with bettering yourself. Don't stay with someone if you don't like the person you've become.

Answer 8

hi..

please dotn feel bad abt this ..but the truth is that your pathetic and sick.. i dont know how you lost your senses and presence of mind...look my friend this is nto the girl for you...true loveis learning to love the person for who he is and whats his love and to adjust with him..you from your own mouth say that you were ina very good shape before you met her..i say stop all this play and get serious with your life..such kind of pathetic females are around the whole world ...but to find a loving life partner is difficult and she is waiting for you it is not this female you are going around with.. she may leave you off once she realises that you value no more.. so kindly wake up and stop day dreaming ..start living reality.i know it would be hard f or you int he beggining but do it ..stop this relation else you will lose your life and become a complete drunkard... you are a nice person which is what i feel after reading your letter..listen to me now so that you wont regret later ... this isnt love this is just a fairy tale.. you may be tempted to go back to her..because it is your weakness try to be strong.. she knows your weakness and knows you will come back to her..but it wont take her long to throw you soon.. when true love comes it will find you and make you marry her.. llastly live your life for yourself and your hearts content not as an exhibition product for others.. i hope you realize your value now!

make a wise decision.. !

good luck to you

Answer 9

I met my "better 1/2" contained in the Air rigidity contained in the early ninety's; we worked at the same time for really many years; relationship now and again yet both determining that deep down we had an extremely reliable chemistry - without the adulthood degrees had to maintain a sturdy relationship. even as her enlistment ended, she back to the U. S. even as I trounced round Asia for yet another 3 hundred and sixty 5 days. Over the subsequent decade we kept in contact, only a touch, yet remained not some thing better than former companions who had an pastime in one yet another's lives yet not much better than that. a touch over a three hundred and sixty 5 days in the past i ultimately keen to pop through and visit her for a weekend., as she had moved to interior 5 hours of me - ostentatiously to have a good time with a lager and chat about the former cases. each and each and every of the chemistry got here flying back and smacked us both contained in the face - we were friends on Friday afternoon, relationship on Friday nighttime through Sunday morning, and engaged on Sunday afternoon. To this present day I even do not understand how I accrued the braveness to ask her to marry me - yet right now we are gleefully chuffed, taking area in one yet another and our 3 week previous toddler lady. I interestingly nonetheless owe her an authentic first date....any recommendations?

Answer 10

You need to love yourself. It sounds like you have no confidence. a relationship works 2 ways. Talk to her and tell her how you feel, if she loves you, she'll help to start changing things. If she doesn't love you, then she doesn't care to change anything. Tell her you want to be healthy and happy and that you need to work. especially if she expects to get married and be taken care of. Don't let anyone help your life downhill. My point is, if she cares, she'll help you to get where you want to be. If not, Lose her. You need to be happy with your whole life,not just her, lifes too short. There plenty of girls who want whats best for their men. In my relationship, if he's not happy, I'm not happy!!!