Is having other friendships with men considered infidelity when my partner forbids it?

Question

I want to be faithful but I need to maintain deep friendly relationships with other men and my partner forbids it, it this infidelity?

Answer 1

Anything that you feel you must hide from your partner concerning "other people" can be considered infidelity. I don't know how much you value your relationship with your partner but if it is very important to you, then try not to jeopardize it by putting yourself in a situation where your partner will end up distrusting you.

Answer 2

Why do you 'need' to have deep relationships with other men? If you are truly in love with your husband, that is the deep relationship you might want to be focused on. Forbidding you to do anything is a little over the top, and that definitely warrants some discussion or counselling...I don't think there should be a need for either of you to forbid the other to do anything. But friendships with members of the opposite sex are usually best kept out of the deep end when you're in a committed relationship. It wouldn't be called infidelity to keep up the friendships behind his back, but it sure wouldn't be loyal either. Would you be ok with him having deep relationships with other women?

Answer 3

"True" friendships could NEVER be considered infidelity, because a "true" friend will honor and support your marriage. With that said, I have a couple of other thoughts. First, why is your partner "forbidding" these friendships? If it's just out of wanting to control you, then that's very very wrong. I would have to think twice about a dangerous, lop-sided relationship where one partner has all the control and no trust or respect for the other.

Second thought would be how is your FRIENDSHIP with your partner? My husband, hands down, is my BEST FRIEND. I turn to him with everything......good, bad, happy, sad, etc., etc.. I have other male friends. They are just that.......friends. My husband knows them and we all socialize together. I know my place and where I belong......and my husband knows I know my place, and my male friends know very very firmly that NO ONE comes before my husband. My friends honor and appreciate that. That's part of what makes them such good friends.

I respect my husband's feelings, and therefore, share everything with him. I always tell him when I've talked with one of my male friends and what the conversation was about. I try to put myself in his shoes.........how would I feel? I have absolutely nothing to hide from my husband and don't ever ever want him feeling as though I do. Therefore, I'm always straightforward and honest, and expect the same from him.

Answer 4

Every couple sets expectations about the type of friendships, contact and involvement is acceptable with others. If you knowingly violate your partner's expectations... at an emotional level, your partner will feel like you've cheated. So, based on your partner's reaction, yes, you can consider this to be a form of infidelity (though technically speaking it's not). The best way to solve this problem is to talk to your partner about your needs and try to resolve this issue before there is a specific person who is involved. Best of luck.

Answer 5

I'm probably the wrong person to be answering this question for you. My wife had a friend for over 2 years. She filed for a divorce about 3 weeks ago and 1 week ago I found out that she had an affair with this "friend". If your going to have male friends, I would take your husband along and let him know that your just friends. One thing that kind of bugs me, is when some men/women go out and they have friends, that they seem to always want to hug. I know this bothers most people. It just makes everything a lot harder. Especially if you don't know the person that they are hugging. If it's someone that you both have know for a while, it's a little different. But someone new, it's hard to deal with.

Answer 6

I don't think it should be considered infidelity if you are truly only friends. I think you and your partner do however, need to sit down and have a serious conversation about the boundaries of your relationship. Good Luck

Answer 7

well it depends. did your partner tell you this before your relationship and did he know that you needed to have other men in your life. Does he have a reason not to trust you? anyways some people have their own guidelines when it comes to a relationship, so whether is infidelity or not you need to explain to him and tell him the truth and not lie. don't make it worst

Answer 8

What?!!! You" NEED to maintain DEEP friendly RELATIONSHIPS with other men." Um I'm going to say NO. I don't think so! It sounds to me that your husbands no fool. Its human nature to want something more from the opposite sex friendships especially if they are "DEEP and FRIENDlLY"> Is it infidelity? No, Not yet. But It's been my experience as a married women that you keep your aconites with other men as just that.

Answer 9

Absolutely not! As long as that's all it is.. is a friendship! But, I think spending time alone together would just be fuel to the fire for your partner. Everyone has a huge imagination that can definately get the best of us. If he knows that you are gone with this male friend alone... his thoughts are gonna go crazy! I dont see anything wrong with being friends with guys, but make it very clear to your partner that he is your one and only. Let him know that he is more than welcome to join you and your friend ANYTIME! Make sure he knows where your friend lives, and has his phone number. This will show him your not afraid of him knowing where you are and what your doing, because your simply not doing anything wrong.

Answer 10

Deep friendly relationships sounds to me like possible infidelity waiting to happen. it is not infidelity to have male friends but if you need deeeeeppp relationships you are asking for trouble. sorry, but I have to be honest. of course your partner is going to forbid male friends, almost all do...just because of what it may lead to.
good luck