I am emotionally attached with my husband but we quarrel a hell of a lot over small things?

Question

He drinks thrice a week and smokes every day. He surfs and chats on the net late night which I hate.He finds fault with every thing I do even though I try to bring out my best. I think he gives importance to every one else in the world , than his wife and two sons. Sometimes we dont talk even for a week.We are of 39 yrs and completed 14 yrs of marriage.We had a love marriage.Though I talk of breaking off every time, he never does. Once in a while he acts like a good husband also and then after a day or two, the same old story.What should I do.Will some wise man advise me?

Answer 1

MADAM IT IS CALLED A FAMILY LIFE ALL THE SAME THINGS I AM HAVING IN ME AND MY WIFE FIGHTS WITH ME ON SMALL SMALL THINGS BUT SHE CANNOT SLEEP WITHOUT ME FOR SINGLE NIGHT. I USED TO GIVE ANSWER OF YAHOO ANSWER UP TO LATE NIGHT I DRINK ON WEDNESDAY.FRIDAY AND SUNDAY. I AM ALSO SMOKER. I HAVE ALSO TWO KIDS MY SON IS DOING B.TECH AND MY DAUGHTER IS IN 10TH. IF THERE IS NO FIGHT BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE I THINK THERE IS NO LIFE. I CANNOT SAY IT IS FIGHT IT IS WAY OF TALKING OF US IN THIS AGE.

Answer 2

Sometimes situations goes worst.. perticularly with the person full of emotions..surfing net has become addiction now a days 4 so many reasons.. what is important is You need to attract your husband with ur apperance and do all good things which he likes... and stop critiscising each other. You might be giving more importance to him or may be some posessiveness or so.. what eve forget everything.. Now what you should do is give yourself importance.. not much but ignore him..and you should know that you are a soul and not body.. so try to meditate late night and cooldown.. No one is perfect in this world.. He might be having some unrest 4 u as u r having 4 him. Any way best way is to adjust ourself.. You can not change the world you can change yourself so do that and after practising this, review your problem at reasonable slot of time.. Best of luck.. May god bless you all

Answer 3

What are these small things? A quarrel won't prosper unless the other person will react. No one can quarrel with one's self. When the quarrel begins...remind yourself to stop reacting. i.e. If he keeps talking, shouting or saying things...Just be calm and say nothing. Let him blow off steam. Just listen and don't contradict. Contradicting him, will spark him all the more. When his anger has abated Then that is the time you explain. If he gets mad again, then forget the topic. It is better to have a peaceful home than be winning an argument. Don't allow s quarrel to start. You say he acts like a good husband sometimes, then observe what make him act this way. Marriage too is a lifelong process. It is like a plant that has to be nurtured with rain (concern) and sunshine ( thoughtfulness) for it to survive. It is a constant struggle. I know it is not easy, but it is worth the try...especially for your love and the emotional security and good of your kids.

Answer 4

What you need to do is show greater affection towards him and expect nothing from him. If you are expecting a reciprocation, then trouble starts. Whenever we do expect something, what we do is compare our expectations with the actuals. If the deviations are too high, frustration starts and we start exhibiting the frustration in the form of anger and so on. The relationships gets worsened by these acts. Stop talking what you dont like in him. Ignore him when he finds fault with anything that you do. This is very difficult thing to do. If you want good results, you need to follow a difficult path.

Answer 5

in comparison to a pair right here, I did study all your tale. uncertain why people sense qualified to respond to in the event that they do no longer study the whole question. confident, some questions are long, yet while we don't have the endurance to study via the whole subject, we ought to consistently no longer be answering. it sounds as in case your husband isn't able to having a typical healthful courting. If I have been you, i could report for divorce. additionally, the circumcision your husband had carried out grew to become right into a mistake. There are some distance much less damaging uncomplicated how you are able to sparkling up that distinctive issue. Circumcision probable made the concern some distance worse. yet it particularly is kinda beside the element. you ought to depart this loser and get on which incorporate your existence.

Answer 6

Option -1 : Meet a good family councilor with your husband.
Option - 2 : Go on a romantic holiday leaving your kids.Both of you take oath that you will never discuss the bad things during the trip
Option-3 : Talk to your husband that you sincerly love him & you want to set right the relationship.Tell him frankly what all things have upset you.

I wish you good luck

Answer 7

Ask him for some free time to spend with you. He should not be drunk at that time, niether he should have any source of alcohol around. Both of you sit together and make him realise the sweet momoents you both have spend before. Make him realsie that how much you both loved each other and used to take each other's care. Ask him to be the sweet husband he was before (loving and caring). Make him realise that how this will prove beneficial for your family and for your children's future.

Answer 8

hi manju,
sometimes it is best to ignore,give him his privacy.just don't take it at heart after all he is your hunband.
i am saying you all this because my wife and me have also gone through the same phase.we are married for ten years now and still going strong.when we were in college,we two were the topic of almost all the gossips.why,because we not only use to quarrel but fight as hell ( we still do,sometimes).though we loved eachother so much we were told by our friends to go seperate ways because of our constant fights but we manage to stick on regardless of the world .today,it gives me an immmense air of pride when people says "oh,you two are still together.it's so nice".
my advice to you will be to stick with him if he loves you.time will change him like me.i am still not the perfect guy but i have compromised with my wife on lots of things and vise versa."give in" sometimes although you are right.it will make him happy and ultimately its you who will benifit from it.
lastly, beware of the people who wants to take advantage of the situation.do not let them know that you are going through the low phase of your life. otherwise they will jump at the opportunity.
i hope my word gives you some hope.

Answer 9

hi dear manu!!
you said yours were love marriage
you are of same age and complete 14 years of marriage.
you love your husband very much and you dont recieve the same. Man hav a problem they wil get tired of things that see everyday. Here your husband wants something new.
so you hav to act accordingly.
you hav to appear in before in different style esepecially in the bed room. go for new experiemnts, ask hm wat he likes, wat he wanted exactly and do accordingly.
why do you go for trip , the change in place and circusatnace give good mood.
if he is going to chat room in late nite means, he looks for something new.
you can also consult family counselor.

wish you all the best

hope that u wil get yur happy marrige days back

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Answer 10

Don't react when there is quarrel. Silence is golden. Arguments don't prolong. One day he will realise his folly and come to you. At the same time take care of his needs and show your concern for him.