Can I take him to court for calling me a lesbian?

Question

I have a roommate who is like a sister to me. She and I have known each other since high school. When I left my husband, hers left her around the same time. For finacial reasons, and moral support, we moved in together with our daughters, who are about a year apart in age.

Recently, my friend's ex has decided (for custody issues) that she and I are a couple. While I have many gay friends and have very short hair, I am in no way a lesbian. He is planning on citing me in the custody case as a reason that his daughter should not be with her mother (There are many other issues, but this is the one that pertains to me specifically).

My question is: Can I take him to court for slandering my name? and if not, how can I get this guy to stop? My daughter and my roommate's daughter both hear this crap come from his mouth every weekend when he brings them back from their separate father-daughter weekends. And I'm sick of it.

Any suggestions?

Answer 1

There is one barrier that makes slander cases difficult. A 'well-known' attorney explained this to me a few years ago... you have to prove malicious intent.

As was explained to me, someone making false, negative statements about you isn't enough for a slander case. First there has to be harm done - there was in this case, there has to be some sort of loss - this could be as simple as loss of reputation and last, the offender must have been purposely trying to harm you (malicious intent).

Malicious intent is supposedly the hardest part to prove.

I would say that in your case, you would have a rather easy time proving malicious intent because the offender has a clear motivate to attempt to smear your reputation.

Btw, most attorneys require a large 'down payment' for slander cases... anywhere from 5 to 10k.

Answer 2

You would not have a claim unless you can show:
1. That he was not just stating his opinion, that he was representing it as fact -- and legally, he does not have to come out and say "I think....", etc for it to be considered an opinion.
2. That you suffered some sort of damages -- usually monetary.

I'm just a law student, so I can't say for sure, but I don't think that you could have a claim. Slander and the like is very hard to get damages for (which is why a lot of libel cases are tried in the UK since it has stricter laws).

However, I believe that your roommate should raise this information in the custody hearing -- how he is teaching the daughter intolerance, is a bad influence, is stating claims that he knows are not true, etc.

Answer 3

The best piece of advise you got here was something that Pico said.

Speak with your roommates attorney.

Remember this... the priority are the children. Yours and your roommates. Make sure they are not being emotionally harmed by this mans accusations. This could be used to teach the two of them a valuable lesson about tolerance also. Do what is right for the kids not what would make you feel better at the moment.

Your families and real friends will know the truth about what kind of person you are. You won't have to explain anything. Anyone who *chooses* to believe the mans lies isn't worth your time anyways.

Good Luck..

Answer 4

In the US, the burden of proof is on the accuser. If he were to call you a lesbian in court, he would have to prove it before anyone would believe him. Though I don't know how you'd go about building a case against this man for something he hasn't done yet. It's such a weird thing because you basically want to sue him for name calling, which is all he's done so far. I'm not sure who would take this case since all he did was make you mad. Unless you can prove some sort of hardship on your part, I don't think there's much you can do. I don't even know if this is defamation of character since that would imply that being a lesbian is a bad thing. You'd really have to ask a lawyer because this guy is trying to drag you into a court case based on a lie. What does your friend's lawyer say? They should know how to deal with this.

Answer 5

no you cannot sue, there is nothing you can do about it, however your friend could obtain custody, and threaten him, by going for and order so he must have supervised visitation, since he is slandering the mother, and if there are other issues of him brainwashing or coach his daughter against the mother the Court looks down on that alot..as for you it is a he said she said and there is nothing you can really do, other than keep your daughter away form him so she doesn't hear all the stuff he is saying about you

Answer 6

to sift through the ramblings here let me make it simple.
1. Can you sue The answer is certainly yes anyone can institute a suite
2. Can you win doubtful slander cases are very difficult to prove
3. if you did win to receive compensations you have to prove financial harm either presently or in the future in this type of case even harder

Answer 7

That would definitely be a triable case as long as you have some verifiable evidence that he has called you a lesbian and that you are not. However, there is not much you can do to him for claiming you are a lesbian in court, because court filings are protected. All you can do is respond with proof that you are not a lesbian.