My husband and i have been separated for over a year now and i still love him so much. He beat the crap out of me and left me for someone fatter a uglierthan me, they had a baby, and i still cant let him go. None of my relationships work out because there not the same as if it were with him. I try, but i just cant get over him.
2006-11-14 17:08:09 · 13 answers · asked by amy f 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
get counseling. you sound like you need it.
2006-11-14 17:10:02 · answer #1 · answered by Danielle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
First of all, even though I could never comprehend what you're going through, I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what it's like to lose someone so close to your heart. I hope you're been holding up just fine.
Second of all, while it's important to give yourself time to mourn, I also think it's important that you learn to gradually let things go. Maybe you can create some distractions for yourself so that you're not always feeling blue all the time...try taking up a hobby or spending more time with your friends (non-toxic ones, of course). Maybe even go on a casual date or two so you get to see what's "out there" - if nothing else you'll make a new friend.
In addition to all that, there's always the option of changing the scenery. Have you thought about moving to another town? Getting a a new job? Putting yourself in different environment might be able to help you see things in a fresh perspective, provided that you keep and open mind and are prepared for the changes they bring.
Good luck with everything and I hope my advice helps.
2006-11-15 01:15:44 · answer #2 · answered by barefootchrissy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you let go when you are still holding on the past? You and him are over already and he have someone in his life. When will you realized that? He is not a good husband to begin with if he abuses you. You said your relationship doesn't work out is it b/c they don't beat the crap out of you? You need to seek for support group hopefully they can help you boots up your self-esteem. You must learn to love yourself in order for others to love you. Doesn't matter if the new girl is fatter, uglier than you. Bottom line is she's with him. I don't understand how you can be so in love with someone who hits you. I know that if my husband ever hit be that would be the end of it.
2006-11-15 01:33:46 · answer #3 · answered by uniqaznmeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you havent found the "one" to replace all those memories of him. Regardless it takes a while to let go of things. Especially if you were with them a long time. Sometimes abusive relationships can be a mind game that get you to think you cant replace them in reality the one that you need is yourself.
You have to care about yourself over anyone else before you can love someone else.
Good luck!
2006-11-15 01:11:53 · answer #4 · answered by skylersmom2006 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They say that the best way to get over an old man is to get under a new one!
Seriously though, learn to love yourself. If you truly do that, then there will be no room in your heart for someone that does not love you back.
Never make someone a priority in your life that does not even have you on their "to do" list.
2006-11-15 01:36:27 · answer #5 · answered by Blkshoes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the hell are you holding onto?? He beat the crap out of you... cheated on you and you still love him.. I would seriously recommend counseling as this is not normal.. You need to think of exactly the way you felt as he was striking you.... His actions says it all.. he FORTUNATELY does not feel the same towards you.. and you should feel lucky about that.. See someone....The normal perswon finds it easy to move from something like this...
2006-11-15 01:11:59 · answer #6 · answered by steinwald 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im young so if you think im an *** then i am but i think that he doesnt deserve someone like you...if he loved you back then he wouldnt have ever thought about touching you
and the best thing to do if you cant get over someone is to have friends comfort you and wait till your ready to try to move on, dont force it
also...the lord is always a great way to solve any problem...he'll give you strength in the hardest times
2006-11-15 01:13:21 · answer #7 · answered by divided skye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey. do yourself a favor and get over it. He dominated you with violence. He dominates her because she is fat,ugly and has a kid. No other man would find her attractive. So he knows he has little chance of losing her. If he is to go on controlling someone let it be her. That way you will keep your beauty.Get over him and build your self esteem. Some other guy will find you attractive and cause you to forget all about your husband. Divorce him on the grounds of domestic violence and the fact that he cheated on you with this woman.
2006-11-15 01:16:15 · answer #8 · answered by David C 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The quality of our life is directly related to the quality of those who love us... Where's the quality here...? Don't sound like he had much love for you. Not to mention little things like; Kindness, respect, warmth, concern for your feelings and class...!
Find yourself a slobbering drunk or down the drain dopper. They'll beat hell out of you and you'll learn to love them just as much as you ever loved you "ex"...
2006-11-15 01:14:09 · answer #9 · answered by homerjoy1945 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bottom line - he hurt a very beautiful lady
you deserve far better than him
keep your head up and high -
--someone special is on the horizon
best of luck - let him go
2006-11-15 01:11:43 · answer #10 · answered by tomkat1528 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is called ~ pure love...but try to get over it because life is hard & cruel....people always take advantage of you.
2006-11-15 01:11:59 · answer #11 · answered by saumitra s 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋