it was a good experience...but....?

Question

OK...about a month ago, my wife and I fulfilled a long time fantasy and we had a black guy spend the night with her here in our house.
She enjoyed things "during"...i did things I never thought i would...and the guy (who we knew) was just perfect in his attitude and how he was with us.
The next day - my wife kept saying how great it was - that we would do it again....it was incredible sex...etc...
Recently now - she refuses to talk about it - or even consider it.
If it was so good that night...and she was happy the next day...why does she say "no" now???
We are still very much in love - we are adults so please dont bash us in your repsonse.
I have just been wondering - why she wont consider doing it again now - after she said it was "so wonderful" that very next day?

Answer 1

Ok i first of all will say i do NOT believe in anything like this period let alone in a marriage...anyway, sounds like maybe she started thinking about what she was donig and is getting guilt feelings. Maybe she knows it is wrong and maybe she is even wondering why if you LOVE her so much you let another man touch her?? So this kind of thing to me just causes more problems in the future. What kind of man or woman if they love their spouse would allow anyone to do this?? Why cant you two enjoy sex on your own is what i would be asking. Trust me the world does NOT revolve around sex it revolves around love. Big difference

Answer 2

Shame on both of you... where are your commitment that you both had made to each other. What you did was to invite a person in your relationship and marriage.
So now you have this problem you are wondering and going to keep haunting you.
I am not writing to bash you, but to make you realize that your wife is confused about whether or not to talk about, because she may feel that she is hurting the relationship.
She is now thinking that it might have been a mistake to make a fantasy come true.

How would you feel if you told your wife that you had the best and the most incredible sex...etc.... ?

------------------ Let me give you a example ---------------------

Let say you purchase a 50" flat screen that you always fantasize and now have in you home. You've invited friends and neighbor over to watch a cool movie... only to hear later after the movie that another person just down the street from you had purchased a 62" flat screen at the same price you've paid for. Now you feel awkward, embarrass and don't feel like talking about it to anyone, because everyone knows.


A point to ponder: You say "We are still very much in Love"... if that were true, then the question I ask for you is "Why is there a problem about the best night she ever had?" If you were still in love with one another, then both of you would be able to sit down a discuss it, but as far as I can read. You will ever know the answer.... but only have questions and doubts about "WHY?"
I can only pray and hope you and wife are able to come to a conclusion that you both now face.

Answer 3

Theres alot harsh answers your getting. Listin it was what it was at the time. You and your wife made a decision together to do this and that's okay it dosent mean your a bad husband or shes a bad wife you and her set the pace for the morality and sanctity of your marriage that is what a partnership is about. BUUUUTT- my advise is to leave it alone now its done you both enjoyed it. theres nothing to talk about now. Unless she is having other issues about it now, I doubt it. dont push the issue any more let her come to you.

Answer 4

When i was single, i had a threesome with 2 other guys, it was something i had often thought about and wondered if i'd enjoy the experience.....i did!!! it was great and i never regretted it. now i have had the experience and it has satisfied my curiousity, that's all i wanted! i have no desire to do it again, maybe your wife feels the same way? perhaps you could introduce a new fantasy that's just as pleasurable?

Answer 5

thr problem is she is probably thinking about it too much and it is making her uncomfortable and making her question her loyalty to you and your marriage. fullfilling those fantasies can be a wonderful thing but it can also open a pandoras box that neither one of you can fix on your own. just let her know that you are there for her. and hey if you had a good time too let her know that someday it might be fun to do again. but that for now she is all you need. be there for her. she will sort it out in her head.

Answer 6

inreading all the answers people gave not one said anything about communication. Communication between the two of you is one of the most improtant things you can have. You two need to discuss this openly and honestly to reveal your true feelings. She may now regret it or she really liked it and is afraid it could lead to other things. In either case, get her to discuss it.

Answer 7

Maybe she's afraid it will go to far. To the point of no return so to speak. After all you did say you did things you hadn't done before, could be she thinks you liked it more than you should have.

Answer 8

Women talk to their girlfriends and tell them everything. I suspect that this is what your wife did and it has brought her a lot of embarrasment. Or, even worse, is the fact that she enjoyed him more than you. If so, this is a plus because she is showing her love and dedication to you and to her marriage.

Answer 9

She has a change of heart. And that is okay. If she doesn't want to do it again, that's fine. Reassure her that you love her always, that you had a positive experience with the encounter, and that you respect her decision.

Answer 10

Maybe she feels guilty that she might have enjoyed having no strings attached sex with someone. She might be afraid that if she does it again that she might end up doing it without your knowledge or consent.