I NEED UR ADVISE! child support. he gets paid cash?

Question

i had a baby out of a 1 yr relationship. We were never married. we were on and off through out the pregnancy. After i had my baby he decided to leave his stable job for a job where he gets paid cash. Im not sure how much his income is now. He says its not much. I want to put him on child support to aviod all the drama but im not sure if thats a good idea. He buys the millk and diapers. clothes here and there. Everytime I need something i have to wait till he gets it. I also work and He doesnt want to pay for baby sittin. i just want to know how will they handle this, if he gets paid cash. and what will be his visitation right when his on child support. He is very aggresive and will not take no for an answer. He threatens me with joint custody. Can he get joint custody if he just asks for it. What is the procedure on that. I really need ur help. thanks!!

:( i dont know why i got involve with him. I dont regret my baby at all. I love her with everything that i have. Shes my everything. But me and him argue about everything. His the type of guy that doesnt like anyone to tell him what to do and he is "always" right. I know he loves his daughter but he has to understand that im the mother. I try to be as fair as possible. But like i said his the type where "the man is always right". Im tired of arguin. I dont wanna see him anymore, but i know i have to put up wit him for my daughter. I'm just afraid hell pull joint custody so he wont have to pay child support. I couldnt handle my baby not living with me. I guy doesnt understand. that the baby means the world to the mother. Shes the one that stood up late night taking care of them watching them sleep. hearing them breath. feel them move inside u. and for a guy try to come and just take her away from u. I just cant understand that. Tears me up inside...

Answer 1

Okay first of all, child support and visitation are two separate issues. If you bring him in for child support, he cannot bring up visitation rights or custody issues at that court hearing. He would have to sue you and bring you in on a different date to address that matter. What you need to do is keep a journal of every visit he has with the baby....the date, how long he stays, etc. Make up a set schedule with him and note everytime he shows up late or leaves early. You need to establish a pattern of irresponsibility on his part. He cannot get joint custody just because he asks for it. The judge will do what he/she feels is in the best interest of the child. If he isn't doing much to help with his child that shows a lack of maturity on his part.

As for the child support, you need to get yourself a lawyer if you can. They can subpoena his workplace and require them to disclose what he earns from the workplace. If his employer was smart he would be paying him the legitimate way. It sounds like he is getting paid in cash to try to avoid paying you child support. Alot of men do this. I have seen this happen to my sister. If you can't get a lawyer you can still contact the Department of Revenue and ask that they file a motion to establish paternity and do the paperwork to establish a court order for child support. If they cannot get a straight answer from his employer because he gets paid cash they will probably use his social security number and cross reference it to see what he has been capable of earning in the past. You will both be required to fill out financial statements as well. It will take longer if you do this through the DOR but it will not cost you any money.

If you truly feel that he could try for custody I would at least seek legal advice from an attorney in regard to that issue. I can tell you though that judges keep child support and visitation separate. If he comes across as being someone who just wants the baby part of the time to get out of paying that is not going to work for him. Too many men try that one and judges are keen to that.

I wish you luck...I have had my share of problems with my child's father so I feel for your situation. It's hard when you know you'll have to deal with him for the next 18 years or so. The best you can hope for is that he'll lose interest and go away. Mine never did though although he doesn't see my child very often....

Take care....

Answer 2

Sorry I think both parents should be involved in a child upbringing. If he is getting paid cash there isn't a whole lot you can do beside call the IRS for Tax evasion. You can take him to court and get child support from him so when he does get a job with a SS# which he is paying taxes then his wages will be garnished. He is getting paid under the table and most likely not paying taxes. He would still have to pay child support if you have physical custody .What ever you decide to do make sure it is in the best interest of the child.

Answer 3

Honey, good luck with child support. If he's working for cash, they can't do anything much to him. They can't garnish his wages. BUT, they can and WILL take his state and federal refunds for back child support. As far as visitation goes, heres the deal....child support and visitation have nothing to do with one another. When getting visitation rights, they will not take into consideration of him paying or not paying support. That is a totally seperate issue. As far as joint custody goes, that only means that he will have some say so in the medical, educational, and religious upbringing of the child. That does not mean the child will live with him half the year. BUT, him going to court to get joint custody will most likely prompt him into getting a court ordered visistation schedule. Personally, I'd go for the support. If he gets paid cash and refuses to pay the support, you can try to get him for contempt. Good luck with everything, this is a battle you will fight for years to come. Been there, am there!

Answer 4

He will have to pay whether he gets paid cash, check, or beans. The judge will order his employer to fill out paperwork regarding his earnings. Some are not honest. How much is he in the child's life? If not on a regular basis it would be hard for him to get any kind of custody. His being aggressive also works in your favor. Just remember once you start, don't back down. Get a lawyer, or at least talk to one.

Answer 5

Been there done that. What you need to do is go to your Child Support Division and they will take care of everything there. While you are there, you might want to ask them about visitation on his part.The one that I went to had their own lawyer so I didn't have to get one myself. I went to them and filled out the paper work that they needed, they also wanted his address and a picture of him if at all possible and where he was working. Then I gave them $25.00 to get the process started. Later after he was served his papers, we went to court, at that time he was told how much he was ordered to pay me each month based on what he made. He had to pay the CSD so much a month or go to jail and if he owed any back support to me they would hit his income tax return. After he paid them the money, they sent me a check. He tried to fight this but did him no good what so ever.



You say he is aggressive, well you can solve that by getting a restraining order put on him and he will have to pay for that as well. And then after that is done...he will take no for an answer or he will go to jail.

Answer 6

You want to be a deadbeat Dad. Good luck with that. The laws determine who pays child support and how much. You're apparently confusing child support with alimony, like a lot of men do. You have no sympathy from me. In my state your ex-wife would petition for child support, and a Family Court judge would review your finances and hers, and would render a decision on who pays for what and how much. You'd have to abide by that decision or face garnishments, judgements, and possible arrest. In the meantime, you're such a good father that you want your kids to know that you won't pay child support. Excellent bonding technique! Frankly I hope you get into a mess of trouble for all of this. Good luck with the cash lifestyle. It always helps to open your first social security check for $410.00 and remember that you didn't report all your income 30 years earlier. Yeah, you showed her!!

Answer 7

You should go thru your local child support agency. becuse you all were never married he would have to hire a lawyer and take you to court. FYI.- for you child support agency is just about child support they do not get involed with custody issues wich is a good thing but what going to the agency will do is asstablish that you are the primary parent also if he does try to get joint custody he will be doing after the fact that dosent look good in any family court. first you need to have the phone number address and name of the place that he works at and his SS# and date of birth and his home address. Dont say anything to him dont fight with him and dont let him take the baby until things settle down i dont know what state you live in but in Colorado if he takes the baby and dosent want to give the baby back as long as his name is on the birth certificate he can keep her because thier is no custody orders on the baby. so if you think he would do something like that I would skip the child support agency and go ahead and go to the court house of the county you live in and pick up a request for determining custody it should cost about $10 you can fill it out and file it on your own if its to over whleming for you get legal help if you cannot afford legal help ask the court house for a list of lawyers who would help you pro bono or they will go by your income. Also, when you file the coustody papers there will be a section for determining child support as well so youll be able to kill 2 birds with one stone so to speak. I would recomend doing the 2nd suggestion for any one who has had a child out side of marriage weather the relationship between the 2 parties is good or not because things can change. Keep in mind this is all for the stability of your baby its nothing peronal against the babies father he should want this for his child as well. Its not about the money its about providing for your childs basic nessities. So inclosing keep your mind on your baby and his/hers well being not just the money this will help keep things in prospective. You and your baby and your babys father will be in my prayers I wish you the best and Gods guidance.

Answer 8

You should file for child support and have your attorney advise the court and Child Welfare Services that he's paid off the books, and may be using this as a means of evading child support.

As far as him threatening to get joint custody, there is a real risk there (most judges are men, are usually more sympathetic to fathers than mothers and they tend to give custody to fathers who ask for it)

But if his being "agressive" crosses the line into threats, you can and should file for an order of protection - that way, if he threatens you, he gets locked up (the reality of a jail sentence tends to calm down "agressive" men)

Answer 9

Talk to him (don't fight) and explain what you're dealing with. Then, understand his side (rage, too).. Work out a mutually agreeable situation with $$, time the child will spend with him/you.. The $$ do NOT alter the agreed visitation (that's a law).. If you can't work this out, there are free services that will help you (both) do this. If one is unwilling, there are LAWYERS (who are pretty much assholes to those that DIDN'T hire them).. Keep in mind that if you hire one, he will too.. And, whoever has the most money is more than likely going to get more benefits.. Best bet, work it out as adults.. You had the child together, you can do this too... Remember, don't be stupid.. If only one of you is, then you CAN work it out..

Answer 10

Joint custody is common=- and if he gets paid cash- they can't garnish his check = but he can be ordered to pay child support- at least on the minumun wage amt - that anyone can make= you decide i= it is a pain to be at his mercy= D