I just took off my ring tonight after 16 years?

Question

Of Marriage of all about him, him him....Gone all the time late at night, I work 7 days a week, I pay for everything!
I'm at my breaking point tonight, I'm ready to give up everything.

Yes, theirs more to it I can't say online... He just did start a job, I have 3 children, I'm paying for our home/land/new car, I'll have it all paid in 2 years. I don't know what to do, I've talked to him, he would be nice for a day or two, then it goes back the same way, I just know I have more headaches, feel bad all the time, sick like......... its after 12 now and he's still out, with my new car, I can't sleep, and it shows in my work now. I am tried of all this, I'm getting to where I don't care at all no more about anything. Thanks for the advice everyone.

Answer 1

Took your ring off after 16 years, hm? Good. Give your hand a break. It's so nice to free the hand of extra weight one grows accustomed to. Doesn't your hand feel lighter? Time to flex your fingers, sister. Stretch them out. Strengthen them....Get a manicure and polish the nails red....

Answer 2

If you do love him still some place in your heart ask him to go to couples counseling. You both will learn a ton about your selves and the other person. It is worth it to try to save your marriage if you do love each other, even if the love has been hidden by problems and resentment. Look deep and ask your self if you still love him. If so look for a way to work on the marriage to re-build it to be one you both can be happy with.

I wish you luck. Do not let resentment, pain, fear or anger answer if you love him or not. You can have these feelings and still love him. Just not the situation and the place the marriage has gone. It can be worked out and much better if you both are willing to try.

Answer 3

Exactly ,"what is everything"? Sounds like to me ya don't need the bum. Kids involved? Property to split up? You sound like a HE-- OF A WOMAN TO ME!!!! You need some TLC !!! Put it to him point blank: "YOU got 2 wks to shape up or I'm shipping you out" !!!! And after that you are on a 90 day notice of termination if you slip back into your old ways!!! Now whats it going to be ? Remember that you working 7 days a week ya don't need him cause you are covering everything financially and he's contributing nothing! Your emotional needs aren't met,his financial obligations aren't being kept up! Tell him "Now you either shape up or I AM SHIPPING YOU OUT!!!!!+Then do it if he reverts back. You work and he is a bum,a spoiled overgrown little boy and "enough is enough"!! Then do it cause what you got you shouldn't just leave and let him have it all . Good Luck and GOD Bless

Answer 4

I wasn't going to answer your question because I don't know all of your story and I would just be guessing. But I do want to say I feel for you.I am a man and I have been through a divorce. The thought of going through one again is overwhelming to even think about it.I don't understand why your husband goes out late at night,I can take a guess but you probably already know the answer don't you.I have been out of a job before and it does do strange things to a man's head after awhile but all the other stuff hes doing,humm.My heart goes out to you.

Answer 5

What is the question? Sounds to me like you have already made up your mind about what to do. Don't be hasty though, this is a big step. Make sure you take careful consideration before doing anything drastic. If you haven't tried talking to him about this, then do it now. If you have, you might want to consider couples counseling. Make sure it's really truely over before you end it. 16 years is a long time, I'm sure you realize that. Take your time and think this through.

Answer 6

Chedder, I am truly sorry to hear this. But don't throw in the gloves too fast, sometimes when the fight intensifies, you are gaining on your opponent. 16 years honey are too precious to just loose and let go.

You are fighter, don't you have an umph to fight for this guy and tel him what kind of a husband you want? See, most men, me included, we are shallow minded and we never see what our spouses are doing for us until it is too late.

The only thing honey is that you are hurting and smarting for no mistakes of yours. maybe just maybe you are trying too hard.
A friend of mine lost his wife in an accident, and when he tried to relate with some girls, he assured me that there is no one who can ever replace a first love. Check that out!

This man loves you, truly does, but maybe there are something going in the House that are repelling him. Men are shy, their ego controls them. So he will not say it maybe just sit back and then one day he'll do something stupid or real crazy and Chedder will be like "I am outta here..."

Help him, in the process you will win back your lover.

Make him the kind of husband that you really want. That I know you can, other have done it before you and I am confident that you too can do it with a little determination and with less anger and frustration you can do it and you will be happy.

16 years are far too many years to be wasted just like that!

Good luck!

Answer 7

I was married for almost 19 years... last 13 were horrible.... I waited too long... It has to be your decision and only you can make it. It is tuff specially if you have kids.. mine are 12 ans 14 and my older one thinks it is my fault and he hates me. But I did what i thought was best and my only regret is that i did not keep the house... I was very nice to the ex. It is tuff sometimes but I do NOT regret the split... best thing I did in 20 years... i finally feel like me again. good luck in what ever you decide

Answer 8

Marriage is between 2 people who are both committed to making is work.

Marriage with 1 person is nothing.

After 16 years it'll be a culture shock but living in misery is much worse.

Answer 9

Dont give up there is still hope for you.love was there at one time,it sounds like both of your priorities need to be reconsidered.you should be each others "top of the list."mabe you could sit down and see where your priorities are now and make changes.Marriage was a promise to each other and to God.It is the most important relationship two people could have.Start treating it as so

Answer 10

Scary thing to do, i did it after 13 years of marriage and it was the best day of my life........ regrets? i have none - my life is better now. I tried to get him to go counseling - he wouldnt do it until i had already kicked him, filed for divorce, and had the first hearing. Why wait that long? Cuz he didnt think i would do it.... good riddance to a selfish loser - HELLO new life!!!