Long story short - I have two sons (soon to be 16 & 14) that have repeatedly told their father they do not want to see him. He refused to go on "long distance" visitation when I moved due to my job (i live within 100 miles of him). He has not seen them since Feb. Some of the time the boys have stayed home because of being in sports, he didnt even want them for father's day this year. Now he is complaining becuz boys told him "why do you want us for thanksgiving when you havent wanted us any other time?" ex's future spouse emailed boys and told them if they were her's she would spank them. Ex's family now emailing me nasty letters stating i keep the boys from them (when i do not boys have access to phone, computer & stamps and contact them anytime they wish to do so), ex's sister went to sporting event and sat next to one of the boys and never spoke to them. she sent the boys an email about me putting me down. I am tired of being walked on - is there ANYTHING i can do?? HELP!!
2006-11-14 14:58:17 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh and did i mention - last year my ex took the boys around a sex offender (which would happen to be his future brotherinlaw).
I appreciate the advice. I have held my tongue for three years. Sometimes its just so hard to do and very frustrating.
2006-11-14 15:26:59 · update #1
I'm not sure what you can do but i know how you fee l am in the same boat i give my boys every chance there is to keep a relationship with my ex in laws but they refuse too. My ex in laws blame me but I will not force them to go some where they do not want to go .they even threatened me with grandparents rights well guess what I contacted a lawyer and he told me as long as I am offering the boys the chance to visit with them and for them to come visit my boys there is nothing they can do.
2006-11-14 15:29:46 · answer #1 · answered by SAHM and proud of it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. RISE ABOVE THEM. Encourage the boys to have a relationship with their father. If you don't they will eventually blame you.
At 14 and 16 they are old enough to see the truth, and it sounds like they do.
Let them know that you support their decision, either way. If they want to go with their dad, or if they do not. They will let Dad's side of the family know that you never tried to sway them away from their dad as long as you don't.
I know the temptation to fight back is enormous, but unfortunately, if you do, that will only give the ex family fuel for their fire. Don't stoop to their level.
Hang in there, it sounds like the new wifey to be is pushing some buttons. Thank your lucky stars that she's stuck with him now, and you're free of him and his family!
2006-11-14 15:05:28 · answer #2 · answered by Amy N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go back to court and ask for a child advocate for your sons take copies of the emails and voice mails from the ex in laws the courts will appoint a mediator. This form of behavior from them tor wards you knowing that the boys hear it is called parental abandonment look it up on goggle. this is wrong and I'm sorry the almost new wife is threatening your children with spanking she dosent even know them but what she needs to know is her place as an almost step parent she better learn it quick else the kids will never want to be at their Dads. By doing this your not lowering yourself to their level but you rising to the challenge of protecting your children and you self from these selfish people. this is between you your ex and the kids.
2006-11-14 15:40:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's no longer actual in any respect in any state. If she is demanding she needs to ensure together with her lawyer. in simple terms think of approximately it: what if the two mothers and dads remarry? the youngsters would be sent off to a orphanage? The court docket makes a decision what's terrific for the babies and one in all them getting married would not replace that. a clean existence is regularly occurring. the father can continuously ask for shared custody even with whether one in all them get remarried or no longer. yet he won't get complete custody except the different mothers and dads is undeserving.
2016-10-22 02:53:01 · answer #4 · answered by casaliggi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the high road and do nothing, the boys are old enough to see whats really going on. But if you have to speak up, do so loud and proud, and then explain to the boys about how it built up and had to get out. Cant hold it in forever.
2006-11-14 15:03:28 · answer #5 · answered by theun4gvn9599 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At their age, they are old enough to ecide for themselves if they want to see their father or not.
The only way to stop this nonsence, would be to , hire a Lawyer to act on your son's behalf.( as well as yours ).
Nip it in the bud now before it continues, and keeps causing trouble.
Goodluck.
2006-11-14 20:17:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
id try to make sure that ur kids know that these things are happening and let them make their own decisions on how they feel about them..............and that sounds like a very unpleasant childish set of events..........sorry.
2006-11-14 15:01:36 · answer #7 · answered by blkhawk51 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋