he has been struggling with a porn addiction.why would he choose a picture of a woman over his wife.i feel so betrayed
2006-11-14 14:15:35 · 15 answers · asked by Jeng 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It happens to more men than you think, and alot of men don't like to admit it. I know, it happened to me.
The reason that men chose pictures of women, is because of all the sexuality that the world pushes. Our society today pushes a me first mentality, and also pushes sex. That's why the porn industry is so big, and guys get sucked into it, and sometimes don't even realize that they are doing it, and then expect their wives or girlfriends to be like some of the women in the videos and magazines.
I would suggest for your husband seeing a councelor to help him to overcome his porn addiction. I went through it, seeing a pastor from my church who's a licenced councelor, and it really helped me alot. I got to where I felt that I had to look at porn, and didn't even realize it, that I was expecting my wife to be like the women in the videos and pictures.
It was my own fault that I got trapped in that addiction. But the culture today is in a me first mentality. And that sure don't help either.
Again, I'd suggest he see a councelor to help him overcome his sexual addiction. I would personally recomend a pastor from a local church who is a councelor.
Hope that this helps and God Bless
2006-11-14 14:25:26 · answer #1 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately, there may be nothing that you can do about this.
The jury is still out on what this type of "addiction" is all about. The Internet has made the problem worse many times over. Those afflicted feel trapped and powerless. If there really is an addiction to this sort of thing, there should be a way to counter it: talk therapy, group therapy, medical intervention, recovery clinics. But, as far as I can determine, no one seems to have found one.
Your husband needs help. But, perhaps even more importantly, you must not blame yourself for his condition. He may be "sick", or he may just be choosing perversion. Either way, don't waste the rest of your life living with this. As previously advised, give him an ultimatum and if he makes no effort, file for divorce and move on with your life. You certainly don't want to be bringing up children in this environment.
2006-11-14 22:27:32 · answer #2 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most guys into porn want sex, its just that whatever he finds interesting right now, he probably thinks that you won't be, so no need to talk about it. He's getting a certain high from the porn, but eventually it should wear off, it depends on how patient you can be.
2006-11-14 22:56:20 · answer #3 · answered by theun4gvn9599 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not so much about choosing a picture of someone else, it's that he has an addiction and needs help.
Why feel betrayed if the man needs help? An addiction isn't about another person;, it's about the person who holds the addiction, no matter what it is.
2006-11-14 22:20:09 · answer #4 · answered by moniquebell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probablly is satisfying himself. And he probablly feels guilty, and should. There are a lot of web sites out there. I don't know why they choose that over us, but it will only get worse unless something is done, and he has to want to make that choice.
Is he getting help? If he doesn't, you may only be enabling him to get worse by staying with him. It's a choice. He has to really want to get help and change, and some only do when faced with losing something they really want. Mine promised to talk to me when I found out. Now a year later I'm finding it's only gotten a whole lot worse...and believe me there is some really bad stuff out there. I personally have had enough. Have you noticed the hostility and denial getting worse? And the blaming?
2006-11-14 22:33:31 · answer #5 · answered by kitten 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you feel this way. I am sure that he too is feeling rather upset with himself, but the make ego would not let go.
When a man does wrong it is had to ask for forgiveness. Do not put it on yourself there are things that he needs to deal with himself.
There are strategies that you as the wife can put in place for your husband particularly as it sounds if you are still in lvoe with him. try, seduction, yes, seduce him in bed, like wearing those clothes that are`hard to resist. Remember he is still a man.
Dont let your man g just like that, out up a fight for him, porn is not the answer and he knows that, but he needs to hear ut again and again. Porn has no satisfaction, if you can direct him to a faith believing church wher he can get wholesome counseling.
Put up a fight for him honey, don't let go.
2006-11-14 22:22:53 · answer #6 · answered by Trinity 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your husband is suffering a mental problem. Ask him to get help with a doctor.
You should go out and start doing things for yourself. In fact, maybe hit the sex store and get yourself a vibrator. Let your husband see you living life and not depending on him for gratification. If he won't give it to you, give it to yourself! When he realizes what he's missing he may straighten up.
2006-11-14 22:33:43 · answer #7 · answered by kherome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you I would feel betrayed as well and I'm sure your turned off by him any way right now.
I say leave him or make him get some help.
2006-11-14 22:22:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some guys are like this. It could be his choice or it could be a mental disease.
Try this to spice things up: put naked pics of yourself on his computer or make a magazine (just take paper & glue pictures) of yourself in lingerie, naked, in poses, etc... and lay it on his bed as a surprise.
He may get aroused by the idea and have sex with you.
2006-11-14 22:31:25 · answer #9 · answered by Sammy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, he need counselling in order to get rid of the porn addiction.
Have a good talk with him and help him overcome it. Meanwhile try ways to seduce him. All the best.
2006-11-14 22:26:53 · answer #10 · answered by Renew 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋