Please help me?

Question

What will you do if your husbands adult daughter 29 years old from ex-wife, asked for a help financially. I know she can afford to go to school by herself without asking my husband because she is working as a nurse in a hospital and have a good salary; but her mom (my husband's ex-wife) is the one who telling her daughter to go and asked for her Dad (my husband) because she is envious and jealous? As a legal wife now, can I ask my husband how much money did he give to her adult daughter from ex-wife because I saw how much is the tuition fee from the University and we don't have savings anymore; but when it comes to my husband's adult kids he will loan money eventhough he cannot afford it but when it comes to me my husband is stingy and don't have money. He don't even give me money. What will you do I want to separate from my husband now and live and start my life and transfer to another State to find my own future coz I don't see my husband have plans for our family building

Answer 1

Dear girl!

I hope you already got your green card. If you are an American citizen it's even better.
Get all paper work, financial documents, any proofs, I mean all documentation you only can get. If you can't just take it - make copy of that in the library (it's almost free there.) Go to see attorney (first time usually for free) ask their advise as soon, as possible.
Find some kind and friendly church around you, ask them to help you too. Even if they can't help you, they will find someone who can help you.
Do you have your name in any of your husband's credit cards? Can you use them?
You're getting real abuse here. Be very, very careful and suspicious about everything around you now. Never sign anything your husband asks you, ever!
It's very clear that you must get out from this marriage as soon as possible. BUT before that you have to find out where you are staying. Yahoo questions are nice, but with this bad situation you must seek for a real help, from real people.
Be prepare for everything. Get HELP around you - fast.

Answer 2

Those will always be his kids and he's helping them with tuition cost . They won't be in school for ever. and im sure the daughter can help out as she has a good nursing job and help dad out with the bill so he isn't paying it all. But you shouldn't be grudge him his kids this is what he wants to do he could say no if he wanted to. but he's not

and you want to leave him now cause he doesn't spend much money on you. i sens your nose is out of joint that the kids are getting a piece of him and your not. You have the whole package of him however so don't be jelous of his kids. He loves you he's with you not his ex. and don't leave your husband just cause he hasn't got the money now he's helping his kids with there future . he will save money once there done school and you can have some extra things. I hiope you didn't marry him just for what he would spend on you. Anything he splurges on you is cause he wants to and its a plus and very nice feeling but dont' expect that he must do this always or its divorce court from you the man is a bank machine. You want a little extra money go out and work and help him too.

Answer 3

Get a job if you want money so bad! His kids where a part of his life before you were. Why are you so jealous of his children? What is it that you want the money for that he won't give you? His daughter is trying to get a better education so that she can have a better life...what are YOU trying to do? And a little FYI....a nurses salary won't pay college tuition unless she has some MAJOR savings. If she could not get help from her family (father, mother, g-parents, etc), then she would more than likely have to get a loan and end up having to pay back a LOT of interest.

Answer 4

Adult daughter 29 years old, daddy needs to let her figure things out for herself. I would be angry as you are, i have 2 adult stepchildren, if they needed food or a little help I'm there, no problem, they are both just starting out and my husband and i both have to agree but...your husband giving any money without talking to you and discussing even how much, when and where it goes is soooooooooo wrong. You need to put your foot down or just walk away from this relationship...Its like he is still married to the ex and married to his children, his life is you, you come first. If you don't agree with what is going on you need to say something, kick him in the butt. I personally would leave....

Answer 5

Being a step parent is hard, you have to keep things in prospective. It sounds as if your partner is not interested in having a second family his kids are grown and his probley not wanting to start all over how lon have you all been married? And how old are you? If hes not sharing the finances with you then it seems his not interested in having a partnership with you. I you have plans to get out already then tell him and tell him why. when you have a blended family there has to be a balance if not then I'm afraid you end up in the situation you in.

Answer 6

This is common amongst 2nd Marriages especially if husband is suffering from guilt....Oddly tho is daughter is Nurse who would be earning good money and an adult, so one wonders if he still is trying to buy her love, forgiveness etc..
You really need to communicate with him to discuss these issues otherwise your marriage is finished..
One is reading between lines to think maybe this marriage is inter-racial maybe wrong..Be forthright and then your mind will be settled..Good Luck..♥

Answer 7

Spend some of that money on English, too, for yourself. If you are going to support yourself, you will need to have a better grasp of this language (assuming that your job will involve communicating in English......)

Usually, but not always, an adult of 29 is considered capable of their own support, and paying for their own education. You are getting a raw deal here, hon. If I were 29, and had a nursing degree, doubt I'd be asking my dad to help me out financially..... Frankly, I'd be too embarrassed....

Answer 8

No matter how old we become we are still our parents children. They are his children and I really don't think it's your business if he's giving them his money as loans. If it is his money. I'm afraid that if you try and convince him that he's wrong on this issue, you're in danger of ruining your marriage. My dad picked his kids over his jealous new wife. If he senses you are jealous of his children and that you want to build a new life without them, he'll most likely tell you what I'm telling you. They are his first family and a good man, sounds like you married one, will always aid his children. And what kinda stuff is that for you to want to move to another state for a new future. HIS KIDS ARE HIS FUTURE. WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT? Sounds like you're the jealous one. I think you're walking on this ice.

Answer 9

I think your last sentence summed it up. Stinginess is a disease that can't be cured. He won't change.

Answer 10

Why did you marry him?
Were you too stupid to know how he was before or so stupid that you married him knowing he was like this?