Please HELP!!?

Question

I'm at my wits end. I am a mother of a 13yr daughter. with severe learning disabilities. Her hand- writting ability is at kindergarten level. Her reading ability is 2nd grade at best. Her academics is 3rd grade functional. She has always been delayed in speech and motor skills(she didn't speak until she was 4( (even now its deaf tonal. she does have a mild hearing loss. Nothing that warrants a hearing aid) She has received speech,OT, and physical therapies since she was 2. The problem is not her delays its the fact she is intelligent enough to understand her delays and gets frustrated at her inability to perform or learn like other kids. She is not feeling as smart or as capable as other teenagers and is getting teased) She has begun to lash out verbally(this is not like her. She is always well behaved in class compared to other kids in SLD/ESE). She is BEAUTIFUL, But I feel her sprit is broken she has given up on herself and school she told me she wants to cut class and hide.

Basically, She has been to many different types of Drs. And is completely closed minded to them. I was looking more for advice from other parents who have experienced simular issues with their children. and ways they helped them. Thank you

Answer 1

This is not that uncommon, especially at this age, and especially in exeptional children. Of course this is when kids are hitting puberty, which we all know is hell, but for a child with an exceptionality, it is especially hard. As she gets older, the gap between her peers and her is getting larger, and she realizes that, so she is acting out in frustration (exactly what you said).

There is a technique called self-handicapping that students use, especially as they get older. Students who believe that they will fail at something instead put no effort into it. They would rather fail because they didn't try, not because they are "dumb". This is especially prevelent in learning disabled children. This may sound odd, but it is important that you tell her that it is ok to fail, but it's not ok to give up.

I would try getting her involved in girl scouts or something like that. Something where she can socialize with her peers and not feel like she was being compared to them. Maybe she could volunteer at a local children's hospital, just playing with the kids or something. It might make her feel better to see kids who are more worse off than she is, and being around kids who look up to her might make her more motivated.

Is she in a general ed classroom? If so, and if I were her teacher, I would do peer buddies and have everybody in the class be buddied up, that way she would have peer support, and wouldn't feel singled out. If she is in a self-contained classroom (and even if she's not), I'd ask the teacher if there is a buddy program at the school. If there isn't, maybe you could propose one. Maybe it could be an after school activity where LD kids are matched with peers who could just hang out with them afterschool.

Just a few ideas.

Answer 2

Taking her to a Dr. will not do much of anything except make her feel more singled out and "odd". Try coming up with an older girl who could help her out, be a friend, just be there to talk to. Help her find something that she is really good at, and help her to excel in it even more. Make a big deal about it and have others be excited too. Help her and her best friend become involved in activities, groups, etc together. That way she is meeting new people, and has the comfort of a friend. She just needs a big self esteem boost, and no offense, but she's not going to get it from her mom or any Dr. It will come from her peers. Why? Because Mom HAS to love her and think she's special and the Dr. will just tell her what she wants to hear or only cares because they want to analyze her.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Ahh, so she is normal yes,, all of us with teenagers know how you feel, some have more diabilities, and some have less.....some diabilities show up early and some do a very good job of hiding it.

Now dont' misunderstand me...and I'm thing of your child, but I want you to get some help...yes you

1. Please get a counselor to listen to you as the caregiver many times...needs more help...and I know.

2. Your child is developing as fast as it can...and all teens have problems some are very smart...and very popular and hide it well.

3. When you are feeling better about yourself, then you can learn ...how best to deal with your child.

4. Your child needs help from the guidance office at her school, and do not stop telling your story untile the guidance office, or her principal....addresses your problems and ask for their help!!!

5. Now, I want you to practice something for me and mostly for you....smile...at every mirror you pass, yes a big ole smile...because you are taking back control of your life.

6. You need help..and I believe the guidance office at her school can help you...but don't be afraid to ask, and ask and nag..and never give up because your dear daughter...needs you to be her hero.

7.. You are her hero...and I ...can't read in this email where her father is....so I shall only discuss you.

Please get help...and if you ask

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE...THE BIBLE.
IF YOU DON'T FEEL CLOSE TO GOD, who moved?

Answer 4

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Answer 5

You know, I could tell you a lot of stuff, but only one thing basically stands no matter what: TAKE HER TO A PROFESSIONAL instead of wasting time here on a bunch of amateurs like me, or worse. There are social workers, psychologists, counselors... your choice.