I am 18 but I have fell madly in love with the man of my dreams....but he is 49 years old.....my family cannot accept the fact that i love him and i am getting married to him. What do I do?
2006-11-14 13:01:09 · 25 answers · asked by blitzyditz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have dated him for more than 1/2 a year and I have lived with him. He supports me in everything I do and he is able to take care of me.
2006-11-14 13:13:27 · update #1
I live in the United States of America.
2006-11-15 07:38:59 · update #2
age is nothing but a number and your family should love you know matter what. If that's the man that you love then go for it. explain how you really fell about him and if all else fells just go for it you always have to follow your heart
2006-11-14 13:08:50 · answer #1 · answered by sana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all respect and honor, try to leave your 'lovey dovey' state just for a moment and seriously think what you are giving up for this relationship. If your marriage works out and you live happily ever after, it may be justified disobeying your family to follow your heart. However, at 18 you may not be prepared for everything life has to offer. Everyone believes that they reasonably know what they want to do at 18. But when you reach 25 (like me), even though you were incredibly mature at 18, you realize that you didn't know enough about life to make such a drastic decision. Ask yourself, 'what kinds of sacrifices is he making to be with me?' 'Is his family disowning HIM?' Because if things do go wrong between you and your husband-to-be, your family may not be there to back you up and be your support during the rough times. It may also be that your family can see things that you cant because you could be blinded by love. I would advice 3 things: (1) try to invite your fiance to the house to have dinner with your family at least 5 times. During the conversations, you will get to know your fiance better (and see how he interacts with others), and you will also give your family the opportunity to love him as you do; (2) if they are still alive....have dinner or outings with members of his family and see how the interaction goes. Sometimes these things will give you a real 'wake up' call and will give you some more perspective on your decision; (3) lastly, I would advise putting the marriage off for 2-3 years. You can still get married, but get to know him better. If he is truly in love with you then he will wait (and that's the truth). This will give you time to accomplish some things (like college) and you'll have more to contribute to the marriage. If you do get married now and it doesn't work out (or if you're stuck with babies), you'll be incredibly depressed if you've done nothing with your life. Best wishes with whatever you decide!
2006-11-14 13:14:13 · answer #2 · answered by tcom1 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hey what r u upto ? Dont ruin ur life like this. He is of ur fathers age, actually not u but he is to b blamed. Why did he play with ur life ? see just getting physical wont give u everything u need to live in society. People will make fun of u in every phase of life.After sometime u will feel ashamed even walking with a father like figure and calling him ur husband.If u hve a desire for child again u will face problem bringing him/her up. By d time child will b of settling age ur so called lover will b at his *** end of life. U will have only pains in life believe me. Since u hve stayed and so called had fun try to forget him and get married to d place where ur family ppl say. u r so young, must not even hve done any proper education, what will u do in life if something unfortunate happens? Getting remarried is a very difficult job. sit back and think sensibly, complete ur education, shift to a diff city and dont keep any contact with him.U can hve a good life with someone near ur age when u get married.
2006-11-14 15:59:59 · answer #3 · answered by misty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
pray ,i'm a 49 year old and a18 year old guy would be a trophy. actually thats a lye cause i'd not go that young...i had a 9 month relationship with a 28 yr old guy...i was 46 and wow i would not give up those memories for nothing....butat 48 i'd be 66 and i couldn't do that to someone i loved so very much..and i did love him and i know one day he understood.cause i ran into his cousin and the young man is married to a beautiful 24yr.old they have a son and if GOD is willing they will live a ripe old age together..my first husband was older than me only four years but after we got married he turned into my father..we were divorced in july 7,1977 married ..begining of august 1974,lived together 11 mon. before the verbal abuse sent me running...all of this only says..be sure your family is not right..some may-september marriages last and can be great,god bless you be happy and don't waste your youth your only young once!!!!
2006-11-14 13:29:01 · answer #4 · answered by tink 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know It's understandable feelings can blind anyone. Especially love takes you over and your just in your own little world and you don't see anything beyond that. I am not judging you I'm just perhaps trying to open up your eyes in 3rd pary perspective outside of your thinking/world. Your 18, he is almost 50 that's a HUGE age differents making hes a pedophile? No normal old guy would do such a thing, you know half a year is NOTHING I had bunch of friends who lived w/ girls over a year and still turned out psychos seriously half a year is NOTHING you have to get to know him better if you really want to WAIT don't get married see how it goes. Girl plz don't ruin your life you are 18 yrs old there are so many young handsome guys out there just think about it, find go out w/ him, find live w/ him, but marriage? Plz don't! I hope you'll thank me someday. PRAY trying praying ask god if hes the one if he isn't tell him to break you up so you don't waste time, I guarantee he'll hear you pray! It worked for me and I lost my love, she lost interest in me totally but I'm glad it didnt go further I'd get more hurt and ruin my life. Good luck!
2006-11-14 13:27:20 · answer #5 · answered by Dispirited 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're telling us everything. I, personally, think there is something wrong with a 49 year old man being with an 18 year old girl. You need to think long and hard about this decision. You and your older man need to have a family conference and all of you need to say everything you are feeling and try to solve it. The whole thing bothers me a lot. Sorry. When you are 49, he will be 80 - eeeewwwwww.
2006-11-14 13:13:04 · answer #6 · answered by Ms. G. 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first of all that's a BIG age difference second most time him being the age he is he probably wont want kids because hes too old. he would be an old man when the turn 18 and graduate. third how would you feel if your daughter came to you with same issue. i dated a Man 12 yrs older then me and he had a son just a few yrs younger then me and we didn't work out because he couldn't get the age difference out of his head we both dearly loved each other but eventually the age factor hit him hard and we stopped seeing each other we both still love each other but i am now married to someone else. my kids and ex hubby didn't agree on his age they all hated it cause they said he was like a old man but again he was only 12 yrs older. one more thing to remember your family will always be there for you they may not agree but they will always love you and be there for you. and also again take in the consideration on if you want kids. are you prepared to raise them alone because he probably wont be there to see them grow up. i would take it slow and just see what happens it may work out then again it may not. best of luck to you on what you decide to do.
2006-11-14 14:52:35 · answer #7 · answered by kameo_44 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie only you can make that decision, my question to you would be why not live with the man for a period of time before committing yourself, to test the waters so to speak...
You are young but then age has no bearing if you both feel the same way,,
Remembering that in 10years you will be 28yrs him 59yrs and so on...
Do you really want to be disowned I think not,as family is everything.....maybe time will settle all differences...♥
2006-11-14 13:08:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Concern of your family members is also genuine. An 18-year-old girl getting married to a 49-year-old man is really a tough situation, for them, to digest. Its very difficult to convince them, chances of getting convinced are also very less. Thinking from your family members point-of-view, its very difficult to answer your question.
2006-11-16 17:03:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey rebbs...
you look so ubnormal child. if u should have gone with a guy around 25 years...your parents would have accepted.
But he is at the age of ur dad. I donot know how you have gone like that. Your thinking levels should improve. Anyway....now you have to decide whom do u love more and respect?
Parents or him..? If i were in your place, 1st of all i would have not gone. If at all, later i would open my eyes and surrender to parents myself. Parents are the best judges mostly about their children's future. Some times they may be wrong. but their intentions are not wrong.
You are the best to decide what to do. I wish all the best and God bless you baby....
2006-11-14 16:23:49 · answer #10 · answered by SureshkumarYVS from hyderabad 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋