I really think I'm a lesbian?

Question

I"ve always ben attracted to girls. I haven't realy been in a female relationship but I owuld like to oen day. But i dont' want all the drama you can get by coming out. I am in a relationship with a guy however and he does nto treat me the best. sometimes i think i just have these feelings because i have been mistreated by males many times but other times i thinkin that i really want to be with a female what should i do. i haven't told anyone how i feel

Yes I've very much so attracted to guys.

Answer 1

If you're attracted to both males an females then you're bi. Just don't think if you get in a relationship with female it will be any better, some girls are just as bad as guys...

Ok now with that out of the way I am bi, I hate telling straight guys that I am because then all think can think about is "Yes! Threesome!" if you and your boyfriend are already shakey its not the best thing to tell him, all he'll do is make things worse by pressuring you try with a girl and to make sure he's involved.

Either way you deserve to be in a good, healthy relationship and whether you decide you want to be alone for a while, try being with a woman or just sticking to guys, I think you need to lose the one your with now. Everyone deserves the right to be happy.

If you ever need help on coming out and don't know who to talk to you can always email me if you need some advice or someone to talk to :) good luck with everything...

Answer 2

Hmmm, maybe you are a lesbian because you've always had these feelings but you also say that you haven't had any good relationships with guys. Are you attracted to guys at all? If the answer is no, than you are surely a lesbian. If the answer is yes, than you are probably bisexual. And when you say, attracted to girls you don't just mean physical but also in a very sexual and sensual? If yes, than you are definitely into the ladies and not just another chick "interested" because of a bad guy. And as far as coming out, there will always be drama, and especially if you tell someone you never had good luck with men, many will assume you are gay because of that or you aren't but decided to go to chicks. And in honesty, that's just how people think. Good luck coming out.

Answer 3

If you are attracted to girls only you are a lesbian. If males are the only ones that sexually attract you then you are straight. If both attract you then you are bi. Regardless of your sexuality if this guy is mistreating you dump him, no one needs to be in a relationship with someone who's not nice to them.

I wouldn't say give up on men, just experiment with women and see which you prefer. There are some nice guys out there, but there are equally nice women to. Just do what makes you happiest. I'm sure you'll find someone who will love you and treat you like you deserve.

As to the drama of coming out, well there's gonna be some but I do have advice. Only come out to people you trust, you don't need to hide your sexuality but you don't need to go showing it off either. Don't associate with homophobes, bigots in general are no fun, especially when you're the one that they are bigoted against. My final tid bit of advice is to find someone you can really trust to lean on in case things get rough. Good luck.

Answer 4

well- your curious,thats for sure. I guess some people deal with some drama at first,but luckily I never had to. All my friends still treat me the same. My family still loves me-the ones that know anyway. You will come out in your own time. But yes women are great. They are much more sensitive and caring to your needs.I am sure their are some good guys,but I prefer women. Try it and see. You might like it!!!

Answer 5

A) Ditch the idiot. I don't care what kind of realtionship you are in gay, straight or otherwise, but if you are not being treated properly, kick them to the curb and find someone who will treat you right. That goes across the baord, reagardless of gender or orientation.

B) After you ditch the idot, go play and see what you like, just be honest with the people you are with and you may be surprised.

Answer 6

I disagree with Allison. Your boyfriend is not the first person you want to come out to. His pride and ego will likely be so wounded, he could really make life hell for you... you know, the drama of coming out -- withOUT your consent. Anyway, take your time, read some gay and lesbian fiction and non-fiction (Am I Blue? is a good place to start) and good luck figuring things out.

Answer 7

Sounds to me like you are not lesbian, but bisexual. There are alot of great guys out there, you just have to be patient, but there are alot of great girls out there, too. You just have to be honest, if the guy you are with now is treating you bad, why stay with him? Find someone that will treat you with respect and be good to you. Whether it be male, or female, as long as they are good to you. Best of luck.

Answer 8

If you are attracted to girls, sounds to me like you are interested in being with one. Maybe you should just try it and see then whether you are or not. You will know then. Btw, dump the guy either way, whether you are lesbian, straight or bi, nobody deserves to be treated that way.

Answer 9

You do not begin being attracted to others just because one gender treats you badly. Doesn't work that way. You either are, or you aren't.

These are all valid fears... and most we've all faced... but I believe it's best to face your fears head on. Before you come out to others, though, you need to soul search... and come out to yourself... if, in fact you are gay or bisexual.

I believe it's always best to be straight-forward (pardon the pun) and up-front with anyone when you decide to take the leap of faith!

Coming Out is an individual choice for each and every person that comes out and depends on why you want to come out, what that person means to you, and lots of other factors. And it also depends on who you want to come out to.

But in the end, it's totally up to you. Some of us feel better not having any secrets in our lives, especially about who we love.

Check out some of the Coming Out resources listed below. And you may want to purchase "Now That You Know," a great resource for parents and friends of GLBT folks that they can read afterwards and find that many of their feelings are shared by many other folks after a loved one has come out to them.

Not to scare you, but some folks do not react well to being told their friend/loved one is gay. Reassure them that you are the same person that they've always loved. Allow them time to adjust. And as I said, I believe it's best to face these fears head on... why hide in fear and shame? There's a reason we say "Gay Pride." You will eventually be proud that you can be an out lesbian/gay womnym.

If your "friends" do say crap, do you really want them as your friends? Believe me when I say that most all gay/lesbian/bisexuals/transgen... have been called names or harrassed in some sort of way. It helped me grow as a human.

One of my favorite sayings is, "I have learned silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; Yet strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers."

Coming out is never easy, but to me, it was well worth it!

Answer 10

i cant say you're a lesbian bcoz u even havent had relationship with female.
maybe you just bi curious, by the way have a relationship with female it doesnt mean you'll be treated nicely ;)