How do I help my kids cope?

Question

My ex screwed around with another and my head before i found out several months later.Its now over 2 yrs since we split and he has done nothing but be awful to me since in ways you would not believe..at first i cared for him because he is the father of my kids now for all the things he has done to me i really really hate him and the kids are in the middle.My daughter did not want to go to him for a weekend because she had a b'day party she wanted to go to he hassled her twice on the phone saying he felt she did not love him..she ended up in tears(i have always enforced to my kids their dad loves them he just does some dumb **** things to keep it light).I blew a gasket called him and told him if he ever did it again he would need court access to see her. My son on the other hand is being bribed to go live there and it cant even be discussed without both of us in tears.My kids and their safeness and well being is number one but this is ripping me apart and im tired of all this going on.

He doesnt have a choice but to pay maintanence and im in australia so judge judy is out lol

Answer 1

The kids should never be in the middle. Do your best to avoid letting them get caught in the middle.

Kids are smart. They know mistakes were made, but they love their father. As tough as it can be, please show respect for their father. You can be honest and respectful at the same time.

If you verbally "beat up" on their Daddy, they are going to react negatively to much of what you say. Your kids may choose to live with their father for a while. But, don't give them a reason to run to him, by disparaging him in their eyes.

Tell them that you love them, and that they always are welcome in your home.

Answer 2

Your situation with your ex. and specially your kids is more than a woman can take, whenever there is separation from the parents, specially Divorce ,the kids are the ones that suffer. You need to have a long talk with your ex. in good terms and explain to him that who he is hurting is the kids, tell him that if he keeps on behaving like he is doing he not only lost his wife but, his kids as well. I can get an idea on how you must be feeling, when you find yourself in a situation where you don't know where to turn, Your kids need your reasurrance and affection more that ever now, tell them that you know that it is a very dificult situation they are experiencing now but, you hope that with time their father will have time to think about what he is doing not only to himself but, to them also and that you ill try to have a talk with him and see if you both can come to an understanding not to make the kids life miserable with all the fighting going on. I know what I am saying because one, of my daughters divorced her husband for the same reason you did, they had two children, a boy of nine yrs. and a girl of three, my daughter enrolled in college and I helped out with the kids, but in the meantime my daughter and her ex. were always fighting because of the kids, with the passing of time my daughter majored in Business Administration and worked at a local bank, my grand kids grew up the oldest was killed and it was devastation for the ex-husband of my daughter, he regrets that he never had a good relationship with his son and now when it's too late to make amends he can never forget about what if he had stayed with his wife and kids. it is now too late for that,so let's hope that your ex, starts thinking of his kids welfare and not in his ego. Good luck and God bless you and your kids.

Answer 3

i personally would go to court about it and make sure he can only talk and see them under supervision of another adult. Or i'd be a ***** and be like you havve done way to much to hurt my family and i you are no longer part of our lives you can't see your kids. I would specially do this if he isnt helping you by giving you child support.

Answer 4

Ever heard of Judge Judy?

It should be a good one!

Answer 5

family counselling is the best bet